Life — November 22, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE LAST FLY OF SUMMER. ‘Tis the last fy of summer That fits on the wing, And my heart almost bleeds for ‘The poor, lonesome thing. No mate of his old age, No comrade has he, To stick in mg Jelly Or drown tn my tea. I know if I spare him He'll frisk on my nose, Or, perched on my bald spot, Disturb my repose, Berett of his vigor, And shorn of his pride, Til send him to rest where The good flea reside. So (swipe) let me finish His earthly career, When, crash ! goes a globe from My best chandeller. ‘Then (awipe) and my weapon Ig launched on his head, Alas! ‘Tis a flower vase Uve shattered Instead, Bat (swipe) in my burry 1 miss bim once more, And the evening's destruction 14 making me sore, And now that securely He hides from my gaze, 1 guess that I'll leave him Te live out his dass, —Chteago Record. Tux young novelistlaid his card on the great pablisher’s desk, and then began unwrapping a large bundle that was fastened with heavy ropes. “Thave here,” he sald, “a novel which —” “Pardon me for Interrupting you,” the publisher sald, “bat there’s no use undotng It. We have more books on hand now than we shall be able to publish in the next five Fears. It will only be a waste of time for us to discuss your work. Take it somewhere else.” A look of sadness took the place of the hopeful expression that had tllaminated the young novelist’s countenance, and, turning toward the door, he said : “Tdon’t mind telling you that George Washington ts the hero of this tate.” “Ah, very good,” the publisher answered ; “George, If worked up properly, ought to make a first-class hero.” “And,” the novellst continued, as he took a step or two toward the hall, * Benedict Arnold Is the villain of the story. Benjamin Franklin 1s the funny man—the fellow that says the droll things, you know. Dolly Madison figures In tt as the beautiful, gentie maiden who doesn't know her own heart until every mate character In the book has taken a twang at the strings, and Thomas Jefferson ts the wise chap who can't see a joke and is always trying to get offlogic. But I'm taking up your time. Excuse me Printem & Co,, across the street, seem to be bringing out a good many successful books lately. I guess I'll go over there, By the way, I've worked up the duel scene between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton in great shape. I have them fight first with kntves, then they try It with swords; upon a third occasion they use pltch- forks; at another time they come together with clubbed guns, and finally with pistols. according to the historical fact. Israel Putnam’s leap over the precipice with his horse, and Patrick Henry's defiance of King George, in the Virginia Leg- {slature, form thrilling chapters of my story. Perhaps, at some futore ime—"* eat Britaio. The Inter- ancery Lane, “Hot Help! Help!” shouted the publisher; «seq this mant Don’t let him get away! He bas a histor novel! Come back! Come back ! Please come tack 454 name your terms. Willlam,” the bead of the great tirm sai turning to his secretary, ‘write a half-page advertisemes| al once, mentioning the fact that one milllon two buodrg| and sixty thousand copies of Mr. —, Mr. — , ah, what o| your name? Mr. Carvel-Jolinstone’s novel have already ten Sold, and that the publishers confidently expect a sated! seven millions more before the proofs are read.”* —Chicago Times teats, JonN La Farag, the artist, who lives at Newport, nasal the eccentricity that ts sald by the wise to be # part of genio, The late Bishop Brooks, of Boston, was very fond of Farge, and they were excellent frienda, but he hit of 2 latter's eccentricity in a singte sentence. Bishop Brooks and a friend were coming out of a chord where the artist was decorating @ great window. The triew! walked toward a handsome coupé that was standing ts ty rain, and sald: “+1 suppose this {s your carriage, Bishop? * “Dear me, no,” sald the Bishop, “I always walk, Tea] a livery carrlage waiting for La Farge." + But La Farge, sald the friend, * has been worktag 2 the church all day, and will continue to work until nigh “Tknow, sald the Bishop, bis whimsical smile drasty the corner of his mouth; “but La Farge can never very well unless he knows he's keeplog @ carriage wat for him somewhere." —PhitadaphMa Saturday Evening Tut “Sur's teaching me to dance,” he explained. * And how fur have you progressed?” "ve learned where to put my arm.” How long bas she been giving you lessons?" + Oh, a little over six weeks.""—Ctcago Post. ECROPRAN AGENTS~Messrs. Breotano, 37 Avenue del'Opera, Paris, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s Sul! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., f Baltimore, Md. ‘Works, Camden, 5.1, FSTERBROOKS 150 Varieties. For Sale by all Stationers. THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. 26 ita &, tev tot STEEL PENS ‘The reputation of half a century is behind these pens. FORE! | Life's Book for Golfers. A richly illustrated book, heavy paper, dealing exclusively with the game ot Golf in its amusing and Hanna, Blashfield, Hutt, and many others. Drawings by Gibson, Cover Desiga by Gibson. Price $2 00. ALL BOOKDEALERS, OR SENT POSTPAID BY LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY, New York FOR SALE BY carefully printed on sentimental Gilbert, aspects. Richards, ORIGINAL ‘Drawincs BY C. D. GIBSON FREDK. KEPPEL & CO. 20 East 16th Street, For Two Weeks, Beginning Nov. 22 Morning, Noon and Night Fast Trains to the West—Via NEW YORK CENTRAL, comicbooks.com