Life — November 15, 1900 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

McTWEEDIE'S DEFEAT. All Strategy Is Fair in Love and Golf My blood botled as McTweedie walked to the tee, and, carefully piacing bls ball oa the small mound of sand which be had molded with his freckled hand, started todrive off. He was along, Since my defeat at his hands, McTweedle had Assumed an air toward me which plainly said: “You are not at present on my horizon * There was black gall In my heart as I placed my right hand on an aged Sllvertown Lal and swore, * By the shade of St. Andrew, I will be revenged!"” But how? Mow could I achleve the downfall of the popular McTweedie, the man who held all in thrall, whose trreproach: accent had won the recent match with the Glenievit Club, and who had defeated that peerless golfer, T. Humpktin, of the Airmouth Club? It was, Indeed, » bard problem. But just then McTweedle's caddy looked at me knowingly and placed the forefinger of his left hand on his right eye. Ina moment I saw what was meant, McTweedie’s caddy was willlug toxell him out. Here was my opportunity. But could I, asa true golfer, seize itt Then I remembered the scornfal glances which Miss Van Bunker Smythe had thrown at me since my Ignominious defeat at the hands of this same McTweedie. “Hold oop!" Lerled to McTweedle, as he addressed the ball In that zigzag, professtonal manner that bad endeared bim to all; dinna fash yersel’. Orit play y (tam Irish, and at times my diatect falls me.) “O11 play yez for the drinks and for the honor of oubld Scotland “Ye'll do nae sic thing,” replied McTweedle, with his scornful, oatmeal smile. By this time, between the difficulties of the two dialects and the haughty alr of McTweedie, | was well nigh crazed, “Hoot 1" T yelled, + By me pathron saint Oil bang yez over the head wit yer ain nibitck If ye dinna! Hoot) Wut ye no coom nop?” At this last McTweedie glanced at me doubtfally, I looked him squarely tn the eyes, and, holding my caddy bag under my leftarmas if it were a bagpipe, hummed twice through, “ Ye tanks and braes 0’ Bonnte Doon, how can ye bloom sae fresh and fair?” This fixed McTweedle. He drove off, and I followed. At the frst opportunity I showed the end of @ five-dollar DUI to bis caddy, and again saw him place the forefinger of bis left hand on bis right eye. I knew that all Was well, Never have | seen a caddy work so effectively, No matter how well McTweedie drove, brassied, or approached, his ball was always found in the worst possible position. Occastonally the caddy would deftly place it in the centre of a tuft of grasa. Now and then he would step on {t and sink It half-way In the ground. Three times he lost It, and McTweedle swore at him long and loud In bis best accent, Finally I sald : “Qchone, will ye no bully the batrn to death?” and McTweedie suld no more. At the thirteenth hole McTweedle was hopelessly beaten. No caddy ever played better than his. Not for one minute was my rival tn the game, and, pale with hate, he threw down bis clubs at the finish and strode for the locker-house. © Ye'll hae @ wee bit nipple o' the Scotch wi’ me?” I in- quired sarcastically and {na tone loud enough for Miss Van Bunker-Smythe to hear. “Aw, gwan,” snatied McTweedie, and I saw with delight the sensitive Miss Van Bunker-Smythe shudder as she heard his Bowery slang. Here was a chance to spring the unadul- terated Scotch, but in my excitement { mixed things. “ Yez played sic extraordinary golf, Alex," I sald, “that Ihae a gude mind ne‘er to hae aught to do wid yer. Sivin oop ‘n five to playt Would na that Jar yez?"? I asked, turning to Miss Van Bunker-Smythe. Luckily for me that estimabie lady was so much affected by my declaive victory over McTweedle that she did not notice my accent, In fact, 0 moved was she that she even forgot her own long traiuisg, “Himmel!* she broke forth. “ Wilbelm, was ba-t dg gethan? Du bistein Held von ausgezeichnetsten Stie! But at this point my look of amazement and borer stopped her, aud she hushed ® deep crimson, a colo’ reminded me of a rowan-berry against the dark loch of Loch Sevin. « Forgie me,” she sald, brokenly ; and I forgied her. That night, as [sat In a dark corner of the veranda witt Miss Van Bunker-Smythe, | heard her wee voice say : “But how kum ye sae to defeat Alex ?** “1 thought o* ye, me laste.” I replied, ardently, aod Miss Van Bunker-Smythe nestled yet closer to me. Far off In the shadow of the first banker I could hear Me. Tweedie greeting sairly, But ell ts fatr in golf and love, ard before that memorable nizht was over Miss Van Bunker. Smythe had promised to add yet another hyphen to ber name. — Kansas City Star. Cynvs TowngeND Braby tells an amusing story tn bis * Recollections of a Missionary iu the Great West" of a litte boy he knew on the frontier, who belonged to # family who had tratued him to belleve tn the deep-water form of uaptism and was experimenting with the household cat and a bocket of water, The animal evidently did not believe In immersioa, for she resisted, bit and scratched until Gnally the Ite boy, with bis hands covered with scratches and with tears in his eyes, gave up the effort to effect the regeneration of the “ Dog-gone you!” he cried, “ go and be an Eptscopal cst Af you want to!" — Exchange. “Waar Ilttle boy will tell me why Lot's wife was turned Into a plilar of salt? asked the Sunday-school teacher. Freddy Filkin’s hand went up, and the good lady nodded to him to give his answer. “ Becanse ahe was too fresh." — Pick-Me-Up. For sale by all Newsdeaters in Great Britalo. The Inter- national London, Engtand, AGENTS, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lanc, Ecrorran Ao Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paris, Established 1823. A Good Thing WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! HE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Raltimore, Md, OSCAR’S SAUCE (As served at the Waldorf-Astoria.) For Oysters, Oyster Cocktails, Cold Meats, Game, etc. Diplome d’Honneur, Paris Exposition, 1900. Good things are always bought freely, and Hunter Baltimore Rye has the largest sale because the people know the best Whiskey when they taste it. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, MEDAL AND DIPLOMA, Chicago, 1893 ARROW ON EVERY CIGAR Write us for Sample Box of 12, $1.00; Box of 100, $7.50, RECEIVED THE GOLD MEDAL Paris Exposition, 1900, for purity of tobacco and excellence of make, A fragrant. high-grade gu. 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