Life — November 15, 1900 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

388 my tears would come. They are here, aching and harting — me like ye Freneh—"and she pr her hand to her heart seo—when one is a woman and bas seen a man listen te your Frene but feel sorry—for such an end ! You see he was not altogether crucl—he might have — struck cannot ou !—he merely went away— sake, = I—Oh—Anve wish the tears would come! And as she spoke she reeled—and uttering a little squeak, like that of a stuck pig, dropped senseless. Meanwhile Aubrey Peigh, in a rich mezzo-soprano, sang the dear old song, E tu non pensi ame. Pereical Pollard, It Must Be. «AM looking for some place around New York that is real cheap to live in.”” “Why don’t you try Ho- boken? That's the cheapest place I know of.” “How do you know it is?” “Hetty Green lives there.” Swimbleton’s Revenge. WIMBLETON is some- times a little careless in his use of English. Mrs. Swimbleton, however, is an ardent disciple of Lindley Marray and rarely lets her husband's slips of speech go unnoticed or uncor- rected, “Samuel,” she is likely to say, even in the midst of his narration of a most interesting story, “how often have I told you not to say ‘one another’ when referring to only two persona, or ‘each other’ when referring to more than two.” Or, “Samuel, how can a man of your education say ‘he don't,’ when you know that a plural verb never goes with a singular subject? ’’ Swimbleton grew restive under these attacks. When opportunity offers even the worm will turn, and one warm afternoon last summer Swimble- -LIFE-: A MISCALCULATION ton got in a little wriggle on his own account, with the result that when he sees the corrective glitter appearing in Mrs, Swimbleton’s eye, he ejaculates a short sentence that stops on her lips the intended speech. They were sitting on the piazza, and Swimbleton’s retriever pup was madly dashing about the lawn in vain pursuit of the sparrows that were flying about over his head, It was warm business, and after awhile the pup lay down, with his tongue Jolling out of his mouth. “Samuel,” said Mrs. Swimbleton, “(why don’t you get that dog some water? Just see him pant.’ This was Swimbleton’s opportunity. “Mabel,” he said, severely, “I am surprised at you, and not only surprised but grieved that a woman who spent almost an entire year at Vassar College should use language not only vulgar, but incorrect, and—— ” “Why, Sam Swimbleton, what- ever ap “Excuse me, my dear, but I cannot let such a thing go by uncorrected. In the first place, in these days not even gents wear pants, and I wonder that you should attribute such a crime to any dweller under our roof, even if he be only a dog. Trousers, knicker- Dockers, pantaloons, even breeches, if you will, but never pants. More WO comicbooks.com