Life — November 15, 1900 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE * On the Reading of Papers. N these days, not to know what, after all, may not have happened, is to argue one’s self un- knowable. Men read the papers for two reasons: To find out what is happening to-day, and to find out that what took place yesterday was different from what they had been led to suppose. Papers are divided also into two classes: Those that do not tell the truth, and those that aim to tell the truth and fail. The papers that do not tell the truth are those that have the largest circulations, and from this standpoint are the better. To be blunt, men do not want to know the truth, and never have. The first man to recognize this fact would have made a good editor. There is no excitement or interest in the plain, un- varnished truth. It is a grim, straight, bare edifice. We want minarets, cupolas, filigrees. Suppose, for example, after that little affair in the Garden of Eden, the morning paper had come out with this plain statement : ADAM EATS AN APPLE. Epi pt. Ast, Ib. C. $825.—Thiv afternoon, at precisely Adam began eating an apple presented to him by a woman named Eve. He finished at 4:345. me think she had been starring in “ Uncle Tom's Cabin,” but she wasn't old cnough for that. She had the snake with her, and when she began to make him do tricks, | knew Adam was a goner, hed up, in her deep-laid, careless manner, took . with a yellow label, and, in spite of the no sign, hit a piece out of it, and, handing the rest over to Adam, 1“ Philopen: Not willing to take a bluff like that, Adam yielded, and—ete., ete. The truth is something that everybody talks about, and nobody wants. trespass” RS. CANNAFORD: Yes, it is a really high-class school. Teddy is learning Latin and Greek, Baby- lonian art and prehistoric gradations. Mrs. Pick: But do you think they will be useful? “Useful! Thank Heaven, we haven't come down to that _AN interest in flying machines is no longer a symptom of an unbalanced mind. Nowadays it merely indicates leisure and a balance at the bank. It is conceded that there would be what promoters call ‘ good money” in a flying machine that would fly, and contemporary efforts to make one employ capital enough and come near enough to success to be respectable. Dr. Langley, of the Smithsonian Institution, an erudite scientist, does not scruple to make and try flying machines. Neither does Maxim, the gun- maker, Count Zeppelin and others. Success to these speculators! If flying machines can be perfected so as to bo responsible weight-carriers, they will save the world a lot of money that has now to be wasted on warships. What is your idea of heaven, R. HEAVYMAN: M - Miss Daisy? Sue (wearily) : out money and without price! Where one can get a good dinner with- There is nothing in this simple statement of fact to excite the slightest interest. The idea isn’t worth the space. But suppose, seeing the possibility in the incident, the city editor had sent out his best man—that is, his biggest liar—to write it up. We should then have approximately this result : Tempted, He Fell!! ADAM YIELDS AT LAST. Walking in the Garden, He Is Lured to His Fate. THE FATAL APPLE! From Our Spectat Correspondent. Sept. Ist, B. C. 5825.—This morning I got up as usual at , and followed Adam around the park circle, past the swan boats and up to the orchard. I had a suspicion that he might fall any moment. Suddenly a bold-looking woman, with bleached hair, who was dressed as if she had just come from the opera appeared on the scene, and my custom-made friend began to make up to her at on I recognized Howery, and s charmer from the and tried to make her immediately as a snaki led herself * Little E IN THE DAYS OF FLYING MACHINES. Shipwrecked Sailor; coop HEAVENS! ADRIFT FOUR DAYS AND NO PLANET IN SOUT YET. comicbooks.com