Life — November 1, 1900 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

+ UIFE'S LOGIC IN LITTLE LINES. Don't worry. Don't fuss. Don't harry. Don't cuss. Be cheerful. Don't fret. Pay your bills, Don’t bet. Marry young. Praise your wife. Keep your temper. Read Lave. Tom: You've been leaning against # whitewashed fence, haven't yout Dick: No. Why? “ Your coattatls are covered with white dust. ‘Shi I'm gotng to call on Miss Pechy, Her father, you know, keeps a bulldog. That white dust is arsenic.” | — Philadelphia Press. OUR boss won't let us offer any excuses when we make mistakes."* “Why note” +‘ He saya it hurts his feelings to see us waste thme in ‘which we might be making more mistakes. — Chicago Record. PEARS GETS THE GRAND PRIZE. At the Paris Exhibition, which naturally attracted the World's best totlet products, Pears has obtatned the only Grand Prize awarded eolely for tollet soap. This ts the highest award obtainable for anything at that Exhibition. Wo are all of us famntilar with the beautiful fears’ soap pictures In the magazines, and How the facts they have been teaching for so many years as to the parity, economy and general excellence of this totlet requisite, are proved beyond all peradventure of doubt by the fact that so eminent and | critical a Jory as that of the Paris Exhibition endorses them ‘with the highest honor it ts within thelr power to award. This ts the twenty-first occasion on which Pears’ soap bas received the Highest Award at an International Exhibt- tion. It begun the nineteenth century as the leading tollet soap, and It goes into the twentieth with an even greater reputation spread over the wider area brought into the world’s activity during the century. There are few products ‘of man’s industry that bave stood the test of such a period | of time, MARKLEIOH : Your office seems badly mussed up, Have you no Janitor? Banginiom: We have one, but since he became a faith curist be has been giving the office “absent treatment.” — Baltimore American, Banner: Shall I take a little of the ends of your hair of, sir? Customer : Yes; Ithink you bad better take It off at the ends, unless you can get it out of the middie. — Glasgow Evening Times, MAKE THIS YOUR RULE: When you drink a Champagne drink a good one. Cook's Imperial Extra Dry ts the best, Tux American soldiers in the Philippines see some strange sights, Lately a crowd of them attended @ church service in thelr honor, There was much praying and singing. The image of an old saint drew their attention. Above thetmage ‘was the picture of an eagle. On the banner which streamed from the eagle's bill was the following legend The Old Reliable Condensed Milk." The artist had copied the eagle from a milk can, The padre explained that he thought it was an American motto. — Aryonaut. ANDREW LANO says that a Scotchman who understands the distinction between “will and “ shall" ts not @ good | Scotchman. He tells of Scotch reporter who had joined | the staff of an Engitsh newspaper. His first night on duty he knocked at the editor's door and asked: “Will L come tn?" replied the editor. — Ware. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. All the attractions of hotel life, with the comforts and privacy of home, McSwarrers : A healer, eh? Divine? hiskey e Green Label. The Trimble Green Label Old Rye Whiskey has long been the connoisseur's favorite for the reason thatits quality, bouquet and uniformity can be relied upon. We guarantee that it is a pure, unadulterated Rye, 10 years old, aged by time, not artificlally. AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS. WHITE, HENTZ & CO., Phil. and N, Y., Sole Proprietors, Established 1793, Dress Fabrics. The latest Parisian Novelties in Fall Dri Fabrics. All the new Weaves, Textures and Colorings. Mixtures for Tailor-made Gowns. Scotch Clan Plaids, French Fancy P:aids, Embroidered and Appliqué Robes. Broadway Ainb ot. NEW YORK. Why Take Chances When you can be sure of it? fam OLD i OVERHOL ** Bottled In Bond '* i direct from the barrel at the distillery. A. Ovennoit & Co., PITTSBURG, PAs | —— Ripans Tabules. ten for five, Stomach ills away will drive: ‘ain expelling. sleep compell cerless R.ILPLA.N.8, ten for The Improved BOSTON GARTER The Standard for Gentlemen ALWAYS EASY The Name “BOSTON GARTER" Is stamped Ben every loop. Lies flat to the leg—never Slips, Tears nor Unfastens. SOLD EVERYWHERE. Sample pair, Sith 20¢. > Cotton Be. BX Matted on receipt of price, GEO. FROST 00., Makers ‘Boston, Mass., 0.5.4, DS EVERY PAIR WARRANTED “OS SPECIAL NOTICE. We- earnestly request our subscribers to give usa fall Week's notice of any intended change in thelr address. Notice of change should reach us by Thursday to affect the issue of the following week. Letters are forwarded withoat any trouble, but papers must be pald for a second time if they are to be forwarded. Please give old address as well as new. Live Poptisntxa ComPaxt McSwirrers ; No; ward. — Syracuse Herald. Bi Di ODO 3' OD Ose] eeley Alcohol, Opium, WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. Drug Using. |Mrrco ne The disease yields easily to the | OGDENSBURG, N. Y. ecxS>t ur Double Chloride of Gold: Treat- ment_as administered at these |LEXINGTON, MASS, KEELEY INSTITUTES. Communications confidential. White for particulars. PROVIDENCE, BR. Il. WEST HAVEN, CONN. comicbooks.com