Life — October 11, 1900 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

288 because our skins are browned ; bat,” he added, sneeringly, “if we niggers desired to take Manila, all that would be necessary would be to roll into the city suMictent whiskey. wait until the soldiers consumed It—which would not take them tong — ‘nd then enter the clty."" When lunch, coffer, and cigars were finished,we Went into the ballroom todance. This wasa large. - room, with a polished floor, and would have done credit to any pablic ballroom tn London. His Multitudinous Superi- ority. LITTLE WILLIE: Pa says that old Mr. Totterly, who died yester- day at the age of ninety-seven, had eight children, twenty-three grand- children, fifty-two great-grandchildren, and seventy-nine great-great-grand- children. Littte Bos: Gee-whiz! He had a whole lot of kids that he could tell how much smarter than them he'd been when he was a boy, didn’t he? Something New. CIENCE is making rapid strides in all directions, Inoculation is evi- dently still in its infancy, according to La Nature, which announces the fol- lowing discovery recently made by a Frenchman : 1 an animal ts inoculated with the liquid given by any macerated organ this animal ylelds a serum which, inocniated In a new antinal, brings About the destruction of the cells of the corre- sponding organ. Thus, for example, we may cause the destruction of' the saltvary giands, the Kidneys, ete. A new field of experiment is thus opened up. All animals will no doubt hail this discovery with proper en- thusiasm. Being deprived of their organs is as nothing compared with the interests of science. In the Church Parlors. EV. DR. SPOOKIE: But, dear madam, why should you shrink from knowing Mrs. Timmins? In the courts above we shall all be equal. Mrs. De Biatcu: I suppose it will have to come to that, Doctor ; but, in the meantime, I want to keep myself respéctable. Bad Form. RS. HIGHBLOWER: Don't for- get, my dear, that in conversation _ the interest must not be allowed to flag. Ciara: But I'm sure I do my best, mamma. “Maybe so. But while the pianist was playing I thought, once or twice, that I detected you listening to him,” ‘LIFE « Ballade of the Golfing Bore. ULL many beastly bores there be Abroad upon this spinning sphere, Who, -when afar one fain would flee, Make dire assault upon the ear ; But this beyond all doubt is clear, Albeit they mount to triple score, He is the deadliest and most drear, ‘The unrelenting golfing bore! He'll start you off upon the “tee,” And round the links the course will steer ; Meanwhile the strange trajectory Of balls * pulled,” ‘* sliced,” “topped” will blear The circumambient atmosphere Until you can endure no more, ‘And wish him in some nether sphere, The unrelenting golfing bore ! and Of much will he discourse with glee, ‘That unto you is nonsense sheer ; At every other game will he Make mockery with flout and fleer ; His aim in life, it would appear, Is just to beat the ‘ Bogey " score, And should he—all the town would hear ‘The unrelenting golfing bore! ENVOY. Prince, though you reckon year on year From the evanished days of yore, Yet will you fail to find his peer, The unrelenting golfing bore ! Clinton Scollard, A Beare Russian troops in China are going through an orgy of slaugh- ter, and their conduct is being held up to all civilized nations as a horrible example. The real trouble with the Russians seems to be that they have not yet become infected with the bacillus of Cant. As victors, they go about it in the old-fashioned way—murdering and shooting and looting to their heart’s content. But when they have become more ‘civilized ” they will learn that the policy of preaching peace, benevo- lent assimilation and tender concern for the conquered is the only proper thing. Major McKinley has furnished some admirable models for the proper conduct of conquerors. Instead of deploring the acts of our soldiers in the Philippines and shock- ing us with the horrid trath, he assures us, in the most becoming language, that all is lovely. The Russians have much to learn. What's in a Name? Att HOUGH the present fashion of «~ christening children with family surnames is much to be commended for many reasons, it carries with it some awful possibilities unknown in the days of Mary Ann’s and John Henry’s. A glance at the following list, each name of which is genuine, will illus- trate sufficiently well the possibilities of nomenclature resting with parents in their choice of names for the men and women of to-morrow. Edna Broker Mothershead, Marian English Earle, Sawyer Turner Somerset, Will W. Upp, Nealon Pray Daily, Benton Killin Savage, Owen Taylor Money, Ima Little Lamb, Broker Husbands Hart, R. U. Phelan-Goode, Marie A. Bachelor, May Tyus Upp, I. Betty Sawyer, Mabel Eve Story, Will Waltz Wither, Waring Green Cotes, Iva Winchester Rifle, Etta Lotta Hammond-Degges, Barber Cutting Mann, Weir Sick O'Bryan, Makin Loud Noyes, Hurd Copp Cumming, Rodenor Pullman Karr, Doody Spies Sourwine, Knott Worth Reading. “HEY, CADDIE! WHICH CLUB Do You USE ‘WHEN A GOAT SWal.LOWs THE BALL?”