Life — October 11, 1900 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PoLisH couple came Lefore a Justice of the peace to be married. The justice looked at the document which author- tzed him to unite in matrimony Zacharewtez Perczynakt and Leokowarca Jeulinselka, “ Abem |" he said. “ Zacha—h’'m—h'm—aki, do you take this woman —— ?” and so forth. + Yes, sir," responded the young man. “ Leo—h’m—th—ska, do you take this man to be- and 80 forth, es, sir.” ‘Then I pronounce you man and wife,” said the Justice, glad to find something he could pronounce ; “and I hearty congratulate you both on having reduced those two names to one." — Exchange. ” “ Wirar Is the shape of « ship going to pleces on a stern ‘and rockbound coast?" asked Gaswell of Dukane. “Very bad shape, I should say. What shape would you call ite” “A wreck-tangle Pittaturg Chronicle Telegraph. THE PERFECT COCKTAIL. One may dissect @ flower, but {ts odor eludes analysis, Certain Ingredients blended in exact proportions make a perfect cocktail, but to describe the satisfaction that drinking tt induces would be as dificult as to analyze the perfume of the violet, A perfect cocktall 1s created, not made, and It has to be created In 80 many different proportions to sult 60 many varying tastes. that # universal blend—one that sults ll tastes—ts the result only of the creative effort of a master mind in the subtle art of mixing. That Messrs Heublein & Bro., of Hartford, Conn., possess that master mind 1 evidenced by the fact that a gold medal has heen awarded them at the Parts Exposition for the superiority of thetr cocktails. Coming from such connolsseurs: ‘as the French, this recognition must be highly appreciated. A SHORT time ago, at a school In the North of England, during @ lesson on the animal kingdom, the teacher put the following question : “Can any boy name me an dntmal of the order indentata; that ls, @ toothless animal?” A boy, whose face beamed with pleasure at the prospect of a good mark, replied : “Tecan. Well, what ts the animal ?** « My grandmother,” repiled the boy, in great glee. — Exchange. Wenn: By the way, what became of Spriggins? You remember his great commencement essay on the downfall of the Roman Repubite, eb TuTogR: Ob, yes. He ta now writing bright essays on the downfall of prices for the great universal emporium of Barr, Gaines & Cutts. — Jndtanapuls Press. A pinxex accompanied by Cook's Impertal Champagne Extra Dry 1s complete. See that you have It HENDERSON (who has just bought a new pipe); Can you tell me, professor, If this amber Is genuine? Provesson: Ob, that’s easily determined, alcohol for twenty-four hours have disappeared. ~ Glasgow Evening Times. “Waar,” says an inquisitive young lady, “1s the most popular color fur a bridet We may be a little particular in these matters, bat we should prefer a white ove. — 7¥t-Bits, Jouxsy : Paw, what do they mean when they say a man takes things easy "? Paw : That he ts elther a philosopher, a kodak flend, or a kleptomantac, — Baltimore American. Soak tt In HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. All the attractions of hotel life, with the comforts and privacy of home, “ARE you old enough to vote?” asked the tourist In North Carolina, “1 dunno erzackly what my age 1s, boss,” replied the colored man ; “bat I kin tell you dis: I allos was old enough to know better dan to try to vote." — Washington Star. “DiN'r you fecl dreadfally when you lost your gold- handled umbrellat* “No; I'd expected to lose It for so long that I was glad when it was gone." — Chicago Record. First Artist: Did Mobley make you any offer for your last picture ? Sxoonp Axtist: Yes ; he sald he'd give me a new canvas for the one I had spotled.— Chicago Record. If Its genutne tt will then | ee eee eee EFFECTS, WILL PRODUCE’ AN’ ELEGANCE OF FIGURE THAT NO OTHER CORSETS CAN. THEY COST SOME- WHAT MORE, BUT'ARE A NECESSITY. TO AWELL GOWNED WOMAN > BRocabes, TTALIAN Ay CLOTHS, FRENCH GorED-SoLIDWHALERONE-BiAs CUT ARrYarenes morons co, AND PLADL OR DAQUISITELY CABRODERED, BATISTES “Tit WARNER BROS.C* NEWYORK: (11CAGO “SANFRAN CISCO” LOW BUST, LONG HIP, SHORT Hip & STRAIGHT Froms Importer and Maker of Rich Furs {16 West 234 St. 1166 Broadway. $04 Pulton 8t, 169 Tremont St. 9 Chestnut St. 74 State Street The World’s Best Writing Papers HE Grand Prix, the highest award presented at Paris, has just been given to the Whiting Paper Company. Whiting papers are made in right shapes and shades for fashionable cor- respondence, for invitations, and all uses | of social life. Every man who likes fine stationery will find them excellent for high grade office use. Whiting ledger and legal papers and in Bonds and Linens for all purposes will please business men. Whiting papers are sold by all first- class stationers. You should insist on getting them. The world’s best ought to be none too good for you. WHITING PAPER COMPANY 148-150-152 Duane Street NEW YORK you're big or whether you're small, you're short, or whether you're tall, you're fat, or whether you're lean, Whether excitable, or serene, Whether a woman, or whether a man, New York: Brooklyn: Boston: Philadelphia: Chicagot Formerly No. 24 East 23d Street Recently No. 275 Fifth Avenue Has removed permanently to No. 8 West 33d Street Opposite Waldorf-Astoria A SPECIAL DEPARTMENT FOR REMODELLING FUR GARMENTS Cloths. Ladies’ Cloths. lew and Stylish Autumn Colorings. Men’s Wear. Mixtures, Overcoatings, Trouserings. Broadway Hil ot. NEW YORK. Whether Whether Whether You'll find taking R.I.P.A.N.S a very good plan. comicbooks.com