Life — September 13, 1900 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Choir begins to intone the Wedding March. Birdie enters, leaning on her father's claw. Parson Woodpecker per- forms the ceremony impressively, and, after congratulations, all gather for break- fast. Speeches, toasts and songs make the time pass happily until Mr. and Mrs, Speckle Winger depart under a shower of bird seed.) Bmopie: Well, it’s all over. And I’m so nervous and frightened I could just cry! I feel as though we ought to turn back. I've got cold chills in both my claws and can hardly fly. Sprckte: Why, you foolish little bride——! Here, lean on my wing and we'll rest on the next bough we come to. How you flutter! It is not very complimentary to me, to cry on our wedding day! See how bright the sun is getting—and how it sparkles on the leaves and the water! Think of the dear little nest ! Oh, how happy we shall be! Let us chirp that little love song of ours together as we fly along ! q (They chirp sweetly until they reach the bough.) Birpie: Oh, Speckle, Speckle, what are those men doing down there? They are looking at us. They have guns! Oh, Speckle, save me—save me! (She nestles in Speckle’s breast.) SPECKLE: Don’t be afraid, dear. I will protect you. Keep your wings folded tight and nestle close to me. Don’t flutter so, Birdie. See the sun shining on that high maple tree. That is where our home is waiting — Tue Gun: BANG! Tue Hunter: Good shot! Brought “THESE MUST BE HIS LEG8." ~~ SIREY two down at once! That makes a dozen this morning! I'm going home_ for breakfast ! (Several weeks supposed to elapse. Two girls in a millinery shop on Fifth Avenue are selecting a hat.) First Giru (trying one on before a mirror): Pink always was becoming to me—I think this is stunning! And the rose wreath—it’s so exquisitely simple—and the two darling little birds ! Seconp Git: Somehow I don’t like that hat. Whenever I seo a bird on a hat, it reminds me of something dead ! First Girt: Oh, how silly! You must admit that it is awfully becom- ing! Why,you goose—you're crying ! Seconp Girt: I can't help it! Those poor little birds look so sad. Their eyes are so pitiful ! First Gmu: You foolish girl! Why their eyes are only glass beads! How could they look sad? I’m going to have this hat ! Seconp Giri: I don't care if they're beads or not; they look sad—awfally sad—just the same ! Kate Masterson, NEW discovery put forth by a scientist of Germany is that yawning is extremely beneficial; it ‘stretches the muscles of the brain sends the blood to the jaws, and sharpens appetite and in- tellect.”” This is a cheap remedy, and anyone desirous of trying it will have ample means at his disposal. 209 A Severe Jolt. WAS seated in the corner of the car, When I got a most excruciating jar— Not the ordinary kind To which gripmen are inclined, But a jolt that shocked me more than that by far. From adown the aisle a fascinating girl Set my senses in an amatory whirl, When she turned a pretty smile Toward my corner, and the while Showed the tips of teeth that glistened as the pearl. T responded with a twinkle of my eye (‘Tis a little trick I studied, by the bye), And although I passed my street, Still I kept my corner seat, For the hope within my heart was running © high. ‘ Then it was I got the dolorific jar: * Just behind me, on the platform of the car, Stood the man at whom, ‘twas plain, - She was amiling through the pane, And—I'd ridden half a mile or more too far. W. BH. qt is not always the wisest Republic - that knows its own sons, as wit- nessed by the increase of over two thousand names in the pension list this year over last. The pension system in vogue in this country is at present absorbing only about one-quarter of the total revenue of thecountry. Butitmust beremembered that foreign conquests and domestic discords have turned our attention away from this important subject. No doubt, with a little more effort, the pension list may, in time, be so increased as to absorb the revenue entirely. comicbooks.com