Life — September 13, 1900 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Seepy Sam: su—su—su—, THE BARES IN THE Woops. Words, Words, Words. CENE: Page 212 of To Have and to Hold.” Real Howard Pyle Pirates in the foreground. Reeipe hero and heroine in the back- ground. Enter ODSBODIKINS. Ods,: Where am I? Avoid thee, fiend. I will not use that modern vulgarism ‘* Where am Lat?" Retro me Sathanas, Soft! Who is he comes here? Enter GADZOOKS. Gad.: As Liive, my old friend Ods- bodikins. Ous.: Do my eyes deceive me? What, can this be my old fellow in arms? Gad.: The same, the same. ( Embrace.) Enter * By'R LAKIN, By'r L.: Well met, my bravos. ’Tis long since we three were together on one page. Gad.: Odsbodikins, but this is a nota- ble gathering of pretty oaths that are not dangerous. Ods,: By’r Lakin, where was it we met last? In Shakespeare, if my memory serves me. By'r L.: Of a verity it was. king’s palace, methinks. Gad.: Nay, it was in “Room in the same,” as you may see in the old play book. Ods.: Traly, my brave hearts, I opine that we are coming to our own again, Once more the world craves good, montb-filling oaths, In the DON'T MOVE, WEARY, THEY'RE TAKIN' Us POR By'r L.: Thou speakest more wisely than thou art ware of. As Acres saith, ‘‘Damns have had their day.” But it seemeth to me that thou art somehow changed, old friend. Gad,; Tush, ’tis but a trifle, Ihave but dropped my initial “G.” to humor a lady author. She thinks I look more refined as ‘* Adzooks.”” Ods,: By my haudom, I do bethink me of un hostelry several pages back (Enter BY My Hatipom), where good sherris sack is to be had for the asking, and it is a place where lusty oaths most do congregate. Lt us go to it. Gad.: Perchance we will meet Egad there. He was always a jolly com- panion (Enter Eaab) before he went on the stage. But I never cared much for Go To, who has been starring with him. She always suggested undeveloped possibilities. (Hater Go To.) Ods,: Avoid. Now is the time to dissemble. Enter WisstoN CHURCHILL. the gathering he * is not good to hear.” Churchill: Just what I have been looking for. I arrest you all in the nameof High Art and True Literature. Ineed you in my next novel of Revo- lutionary times. Fgad.: And what if I refuse? Churchill: Drop that! You are not on the stage now ! The novelist scoops them all into his pocket. Green fire and slow curtain, P. McA. As he sees ughs a laugh that 2 HERE once was a drummer from Del. Who haughtily said, “Tam wel. That my style is au fait. If it isn't, pray say Just what sort of clothes should a fel.” NOTHER evil that we are threat- ened with, according to Mrs. Helen M. Barker, is the deadly ab- sinthe. Mrs, Barker declares that we are becoming slaves to the absinthe habit. Perhaps Mrs. Barker has been fre- quenting French table-d’hote restau- rants and gets her idea from this limited field. Mrs. Barker has a certain woman's privilege to make statements, even when unsupported by figures and facts, but she certainly should not ask us to enact a law against absinthe. Not that absinthe is a desirable ad- dition, but that another law is more undesirable. We have so many laws now that we hardly know how to act. ASTLETON: My aunt has just died. Is the head undertaker in? Assistant: Want to see him on business? _ “No. Pleasure.”’ “GETTING ROUND ON TIME.” comicbooks.com