Life, 1900-09-06 · page 8 of 20
Life — September 6, 1900 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page Analysis This page satirizes the 1904 U.S. presidential election, presenting "Life's Ticket" with caricatures of W.W. Astor for President and L.H. Chang for Vice President. The satire mocks the actual candidates by suggesting wealthy figures instead—Astor representing American industrial wealth and Chang (likely referencing Chinese interests) representing foreign influence. The text criticizes both major parties' candidates as inferior to these alternatives, sarcastically praising Astor's wealth and Chang's diplomatic connections. The accompanying poem "The Useless Quest" laments the difficulty of finding worthy political candidates. The lower section includes "The London Zoophilist" commentary on questionable scientific practices and a photograph with handwritten caption—likely documenting some contemporary controversy or social issue, though the specific subject is unclear from the image quality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life’s Ticket. Fou Paesipent, For Vice PRESIDENT, W. W. ASTOR, L. H. CHANG. IFE'S ticket, as we fully anticipated, has been received with nothing bot commendation. We knew the mere mention of the name of W. W, Astor would invoke applause in every patriotic bosom, and as for Li, his attitude on the silver question and the decapitation of the heads of all incom petents is so well known that, if for nothing else, his election to the Vice-Presidency is a consummation devoutly to be wished. When, however, we come to compare our candidates with those already in the field, we are afforded a striking proof of their immense superiority. The most that President McKinley can promise us is a condition of chronic war and the firm grasp of the insatiable octopus. As for Bryan, he assures us that, in addition to free silver, he will, immediately upon his accession to the thronelet, call an extra session of Congress, in itself a calamity from which any intelligent American may well shrink. How much better off we shall be under the benefi- cent rulo of Astor and Chang! We are enabled to indicate a few of the blessings with which their election will be ushered in. The seat of the United States Government being permanently fixed in London, much of the friction hitherto unavoidable will be dissipated. We know so well that England's attitude toward us is actuated only by the most disinterested motives, and, therefore, we say, the utmost freedom should be given to her. With all our society leaders living permanently in London, the peace of the world is assured and our own peace of mind guaranteed. Inspired by loyalty to President Astor, not only our society leaders, but others who love England for her own sake, and who are now only tolerating thcir own residence in this country because they can earn a living here, will no doubt return to London and rally around the British flag. The benefit that we shall receive from this alone can hardly be estimated. As for Colonel Chang, we think he compares favor- ably with our own Teddy. For one thing, he speaks English with great difficulty, which will prevent his stumping the country, and he will not attempt to write anything for the magazines. And then, he * LIFE possesses the friendship and respect of the Empress of China, who can give him much information on how to regulate his friends in the Senate. The Useless Quest. F I could find some lone! me silent rocky she there, its space to fill nothing but myself. If I could come upon a beach Far from man's trodden ways, And also out of woman's reach, My tent I'd promptly raise. Alas! Yet though my quest should stretch Half ‘round the world, what good ? I know I'd meet some other wretch Seeking for solitude ! Madeline Bridges. THE London Zoophitiat says : Columbus, when he discovered the island of St. Dorntngo, found that the natives bad # singular mode of treating the dying. When the life of a chief was despaired of, they strangled him out of # principle of respect rather than permit him to die like the vulgar. Common people were per- mitted to die a natural death, The experimental physicians of certain continental cities reverse this method, If the reports In the newspapers are to be relied upon. It ts the common people in the hospitals who are Assisted to shuttle off the mortal coll; the people of importance are never strangled “out of respect,” bat are permitted to die quietly in their bammocks, But the “ people of importance "’ will do well to die with one eye open. The scientific experimenter is getting bolder every hour. comicbooks.com