Life — September 6, 1900 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ON THE FUTURE OF CHINA, “Spare no man that wears a pigtall,” he says. “ An‘, he says,“ me an‘ th’ Garman Michael will smile on ye as ye Kick th’ linin’ out tv th’ dhragon ant plant on th’ wails tv Peking th* banner,” he says, “1v th’ cross, an‘, he says, “th’ donble cross," he says, “ An’ if be chance ye shud pick up alittle land be th* way, don’t lave e’er ® Princhman or Rooshan take It fr'm ye or ye'll feel me specyal-delivery hand on th’ back tv ye'er neck In a way that'll do ye no kind {v good, Hock Garman Michael," he says, “hock me gran‘father, hock the penny-postage fst,” he says,“ hock mesllf,” he says. An‘ th’ Garman Impror wint back to his bedroom f'r to wurruk on th’ book he's goin’ to br-ring out nex’ year to take th’ place tv the Hible. —Mr, Dooley, in Harper's Weekly. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTOr. All the attractions of hotel life, with comforts and privacy of hume. “Yes, he boasts that he has lived nearly seventy years without ever having been Inside @ bank.”” “What Is he ; a bank director? "? —Chteago Times-Herald. AN Allanta correspondent writes to his paper these burning words concerning & woman delegate from Utah to the Kansas City Convention : She is a chic et charmante brunette, with the glory of ‘Southern midnight 1n her dark hair and eyes and the fine promise of the North tn ber broad brow and sunshine-shower- tng smile.” Thus are new complications tntroduced Into poiltics. — Putsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. Wn do physictans say that Cook's Imperial Cham- pagne Extra Dry is the best dinner wine? It helps digest your food, Ove Sanday the minister of @ small Northern country parish church had the misfortune to forget his sermon, and id not discover his loss til he reached the church, Suddenly fn Idea struck him. He sent for John, the beadie, and instructed him to give out the (ne Hundred and Nineteenth Psalm (containing one hundred and seventy-six verses), while he hurried home for his sermon, On his Journey back to the church he saw the faithful beadle standing at the church door, waving his arms and urging him to burry. On reaching the door he exclatm “Are they all singing yet, John?" “Ay, sir,” replied John, “they're at it yet, but they're cheepin’ Ike sparries.""—Argonaut. Cosmetics are deadly and ruin the skin. Complexions are properly bullt from within, To have roay cheeks and a cuticle clear, Tuke Ripan's Tabules—they're without any peer. “Do you believe that Lusher really saw a sea serpent on his last yachting trip?” Ihave no doubt of It at all, I was with him when he was purchasing his suppiles.""—CAtcago Kveniny Post. Morusn (at foot of kitchen stairs): Mina, 1s the Major Kissing you? Mixa: Yes, mamma, “Well tell him to do tt in minor; four teacups have already fallen from the dresser." Tue Schootmaster, GETTYSBURG, LURAY, WASHINGTON. Personlly-Conducted Tour via Pennsylvania R rod, Over the battlefield of Gettysburg, through the picturesque Bine Mountains, vis Hagerstown and Antietam, and down the beautifal and historic Shenandoah Valley to the unique Caverns of Luray ; thence across the rolling hills of Northern Virginia to Washington, is the route of this tour—a section of the country intensely Interesting from both @ historic and @ scenic standpoint. ‘The tour will leave New York 7.65 A. M., and Philadelphia 12.20 P. M., Saturday, September 15, in charge of one of the company's tourist agents, and will cover # period of five days. An expertenced chaperon, whose especial charge will be unescorted ladies, will accompany the tip throughout, Round-trip tickets, covering transportation, carriage drives, ‘and hotel accommodations, will be sold at the extremely toe rate of $25 from New York, $24 from Trenton, $22 from Philade!phia, and proportionate rates from other points. For {tinerartes and full information apply to ticketagents, Tourist Agent, 1196 Broadway, New York ; 789 Brond Street, Newark, N. J. ; or address Geo. W. Boyd, Assistant Geveral Passenger Agent, Broad Street Station, Philadelphia. ‘The owners make the welkin ring with thetr praise, which it might be well to take with & grain of salt. The safe plan ts to use only the etraight, HAND-MADE, SOUR MASH OLD CROW RYE, and you will receive beneft from it, It has Kept the lead for 66 years, ‘who has once worn the BRIGHTON bas no use for any other stock- ing supporter. The perfect- Atting, flat cl /P garter. Sold by furntshers or palr matied for 25 cts. Made inall the wanted colors and the new- eat cross bar patterns, PIONEER SUSPEND! 718 Market St., Phil H. B. KIRK & CO., Sole Bottlers, N. Y. WE All you have guessed saps SSPE ‘about life insurance may. POINTS TO CONSIDER, 7" PAY Feowitts wathreend for ti Tecan abn leet maar es erent | BC) ST vy the bane Merete T cil eharpet ton five point and wear off to Lire, 021-3-5 Chestout use, instead of breaking, is what a pencil abould do. AGE, _ street, phiiadelptia. DIXON’S American Graphite Pencils Ecos ot eet ree yas ett vou ast tae LEADAM’S SHOE TREES} | mum use out of every one. Ask for them at your dealer's; Keep your shoes in perfect shape. Uf not obtainable, send 16 cents for samples worth double, Prevent wrinkling, toet1 nd JOSEPH DIXON CRUCIBLE CO., J¢RStY CITY, MJ. Curling. Liebt and easy to use. a Shoes dampened by perspirae tlon or water do not shrivel up in drying when Leadam's Trees are . sed. All sizes and styles for men and women, ‘ a ONEL Ke LEADAM, ene eer cta, 80 Wall St., New York. PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD PERSOMALLY- THE ADVENTURES OF A WIDOW will CONDUCTED be illustrated by a series of drawings by TOURS. ©, D, Gibson, soon to begin in LIFE. CETTYSBURG, Redmond, (“2 Dividends and inte: RAY emitted: << Act ae LURAY, ano’ | | Kerr&Co. julie 3 BANKERS, famue loans of : atree! September 16 to 19, 1900. 41 WALL ST., N.Y. as ue bles, ete, Securities RAT $25.00 from NEW YORK. jemvere bougbt and sold on y $22.00 from PHILADELPHIA. N, Y. Stock Exchange. commas IN ch-Grade Investment Securities, m of current offerings went oo application. PHILADELPHIA CORRESPONDENTS, GRAHAM, KERR & CO. Hii Li TO THE SOUTH October 9 to 17. 1900. For detailed itineraries and full information, apply to Ticket Agents: ‘Tourist Agent, 1195 Broadway, New York; 4 Court 8t., Brooklyn ; 78 Broad St., Newark N.J.; or-addreas Geo. W. Boyd, Ass't Gen’ Pasa. Agent, Philadelphia. J. B. HUTCHINSON, — J. R. WOOD, - General Manager, Gen'l Pass. Agent, TOILET NECESSITY. 1N 5) PACKAGES ONLY. 1 Alcohol, Opium, fA eeley Drug Using. Cire pithy diecase plelds easily to the | OGDENSBURG, N. Yo cos ment as administered. at these | LEXINGTON, MASS, ur KEELEY INSTITUTES. | PROVIDENCE, R. L Sorte for partedarss "| wast HAVEN, CONN. comicbooks.com