Life — August 30, 1900 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A REVISED VERSION. They used to sing some time ago A rather plaintive song : “ Man wants but little here below, Nor wants that little long.”* Bat nowadays the song is set With music to the rhyme “ Man wants as much as he can get, And wants itall the time." — Tit-Bits, “Wien {t comes to hunting for souls,” remarked the first heathen, ** most of these missionaries are birds."” “So they are,” replied the other ; “they're regular birds of pray.” — Philadelphia Record. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON Commonwealth Avenue, Electric Lights, most approved plumbing. New and teaches by mall with perfect success Alois P Swoboda his original and scientific method of . Physiological Exercise without any apparatus whatever and requiring but a few minutes time in your own room just before retiring. “By this condensed system more exercise can be obUlned in ten minutes than by any other in two hours aud it 1s the only one which does not overtax the heart. 1 x the only natural, easy and speedy method for obtaining perfect heaith, physical development and elasticity of mind and body. ABSOLUTELY CURES CONSTIPATION, INDIGESTION, SLEEPLESSNESS, NERVOUS EXHAUSTION and revitaltzes the whole body. Puplis are of both sexes ranging in age from fifteen to eighty-six, and all recommend the system. Since no two people are inthe same physical condition individual instructions are given In each case. Write at once for full information and Booklet containing endorsements from many of America’s leading citizens to ALOIS P. SWOBODA, 34-36 Washington Street, CHICAGO, ILLS. “Ma says, how much will you charge to write a "Lituary on the death of my dad “Three dollars an Inch,” replied the editor, grumy. The messenger departed, but in a little while be returned and sald “Ma says dad wuz six foot two Inches, but he wozn't wath three dollars!" — Atlanta Constitution. “Sup talked to him just to let him know she wasn’t afraid of old bachelors,” “Yea * And he talked to her Just to let her know that he wasn’t afraid of widows, “Welly” “Oh, they're married now."*— Chicago Record. First Ranuir; That town boy has been around here nearly » week and never once tried to kill us. Seconp Rawsit: Yes; he seems to be devold of all human attributes — Jadianapotte Press, “Oh.What Rest ORDER ® case of Cook's Imperial Champagne Extra| 7 88d Comfortt Dry. Tell your friends tt 1s the best. Then say, “1 told you #0 Colfers, and all who Walk or Stand Much, Use ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE ont=Ease, a po Deinial swullen ‘od instant eet, oat of corns and bani ext comfort Allene Foot covery of the age. no makes the Not Artificially Mellowed, Time and Good Storage | Only used in maturing lei takes ta ms. 106 the great: Aung OF new shoes tool curefor Ingtowing naila, awentini and. hot. tived, achingt eat. (0 tre h> menial. PEW JT TOeDAV. old by al! Drogeist rand hie Stores. Sie.” Do not Imitation, Bent by mail for — FREE TRUtrAcksce ye a Tmet Radia to | ALLEN S. OLMSTED, Le Roy, N. Y. OMlention this m: A Straight, Hand-Made Sour Mash. ine) Lorb Saissury tnvartably lanches at the Athnwum, the most solemn of Lond clubs, the membership of which consists of eminent doctors, judges, lawyers, and, above all, bishops, One ratny day, as the Premier was starting out to his noonday meal, ove of his secretaries observed that he had no umbrella, He rushed after the chief with bis own, a stlver-mounted one. “No, no," said Lord Salisbury ; "I've lost too many in the Athnwum. I cannot trust the bishops!" — Ware. Sue: Take care, Alfred ; that tan't the remedy for sea- - If you have aches or pains within, It matters not Just where, Put Ripans Tabules on the trafl, They'll search it to Its lair; They'll banish it #0 soothingly You'll never feel the action. The good they do you'll tell your friends With genuine satisfaction. Whiskey does not need doctoring ; only cheap whiskies are fixed up to taste old. They are not good for the stomach. | H. B. KIRK & Co., Sole Bottlers, N.Y. sickness. Don’t you see the bottle [s marked “ Polson" t He (groaning) ; That's the one I want, — Tit-Blts, Tuk PHILADELPHIAN: Isn't the mud on this street a trifle deep? CHICAGOAN (proudly); Deep? It 1s the deepest mud on ‘any paved street In the world !—Jndianapolla Presa. ‘Teacher : Johnny, tell me the name of the troptcal belt north of the equator? JOUNNY : Can't, alr. “Correct. That will do.""— Yale Record. GETTYSBURG, LURAY, WASHINGTON. Personally-Conducted Tour via Pennsylvania Railroad. Over the battlefield of Gettysburg, through the picturesque Blue Mountains, via Hagerstown and Antietam, and down the beautiful and historic Shenandoah Valley to the untque Caverns of Luray ; thence across the rolling bills of Northern Virginia to Washington, 1s the route of this tour—a section of the country intensely Interesting from both a historic and ‘scenic standpoint. ‘The tour will leave New York 7.55 A M.,and Philadelphia 1220 P. M., Saturday, September 15, 1n charge of one of the company's tourist agents, and will cover a pertod of five days. An expertenced chaperon, whose especial charge will be unescorted ladies, will accompany the trip throughout, Round-trip tickets, covering transportation, carriage drives, And hotel accommodations, will be sold at the ezcremety low rate of $25 from New York, $24 from Trenton, $22 from Philadelphia, and proportionate rates from other points. For itinerartes and full tnformation apply to ticket agents, Tourist Agent, 1196 Broadway, New York ; 789 Broad Street, Newark, N. J. ; or address Geo. W. Boyd, Assistant General Passenger Agent, Broad Street Station, Philadelphia, known artist, Copyrig’t, 1900, by Lile Publishing Co ADVICE TO CADDIES. You will save time by keeping your cye on the ball, not on the player. CHARLES DANA GIBSON’S PEN AND INE SHEETOCOHES. We publish a full and complete line of “Japan Proofs” of all the choice and popular subjects of this well- These proofs are printed on Japan paper, mounted and matted ready for framing. Size, 15x 20. PRICE $2.00. Send 10 Cents for Catalogue, LIFE PUBLISHING CO., 19 West 31st St., New York. comicbooks.com