Life — August 23, 1900 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OY ee Life’s Ticket. For PRESIDENT, W. W. ASTOR, For ViCk-PERSIDENT, L. H. CHANG. PLATFORM : The World Ia Oura! Al conscientious voters who have been well - nigh distracted with anxiety over the future of our country under either McKinley or Bryan, may now go to sleep in the calm assurance that it is going to be all right after all. William Waldorf Astor has consented to run for Presi- dent, and Li Hung Chang has agreed to back him up in everything he says and does. It is true that Mr. Astor is no longer an American citizen, but what difference does this make? Let us expand in every sense. We point with pride (this is a phrase we have borrowed somewhere, but it goes) to the fact that Mr. Astor’s long residence in London, and his overwhelming popularity there, make him just the man for the place. England and America will now stand fast together, bound by ties of blood and cash. The only thing we needed to complete an ideal ticket was Li Hung Chang. We were in some doubt about his eligibility, but it is all right. He has lived at the Waldorf-Astoria, which clinches his naturalization ; he is worth a barrel, and his views on the silver question are wobbly enough to suit anyone. Mr. Astor has been so busy refusing invita- tions not to dine this week, and Li so much occupied explaining to the Powers just why he is not in Pekin, that they haven’t had time to get up a detailed platform, But they will have it ready for next week. An Interview With His Majesty. HERE were quite a number of others waiting in the anteroom when I entered, but the attendant, glancing at my card, disappeared with it, and in a moment came back with word that the great man would see me at once. “I fear you are too busy,’’ I eaid, hesitating on the threshold. “Tam always busy,” said my host, waving me politely toachair. ‘‘ But in these days I have matters so systematized that they run -LIFE- 145 themselves fairly well. These modern inventions are a great help. I can, for instance, call up anyone I want. I——" Just then the telephone bell rang. “Hello!” he said. “*Whoisit? Oh,you. Well, Mark, what can I do for you to-day? Yes, What'sthat? The Major is going to make some more speeches? Good! Ran out of terms, yousay? Yes. All right. I'll send him a barrel of hypocritical expressions and political soft soap by express. Don’t mention it. Good-bye.” “Yon can do a great deal of your work right here in the office,’ I ventured. “Yes, indeed,” smiled the great man, ‘‘ The only trouble is that they all know my number now, and it keeps me busy.” He wiped his brow. ‘‘ Rather warm,” he said. “I didn’t notice it,” I replied, ‘but I've been in New York all summer.” The bell rang. ‘‘ Excuse me,” said His Majesty, showing his cloven foot as he turned. “Hello! Who's ‘this? Tammany Hall? Oh, yes. Look here, old fellow, don't you think it’s a little hard to levy tribute on me, when I’ve done so much for you in the past? All right. Good-bye.” “ And now,” I said, plunging into the heart of my visit, “Tl tell you what I came to see you about. Tell me, old man, which would you rather have elected—McKinley or Bryan?” His Majesty fanned himself with a Boston paper. “T’ll be honest with you,’’ he said, candidly. ‘‘ So far as I personally am concerned, it doesn’t make the slightest difference.”’ omen Papa Spider : wuat 18 17, pocton? “XIONT HUNDRED GIRLS AND ALMOST AS MANY BOYS.” comicbooks.com