Life — August 23, 1900 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

omnu i 0 2 THSsis Mr, Hanna! D'ye get it? H-A-N-N-A! Hello,- lo,-lo! That the Presi- dent? Good morning, Wobbling Willy! Yes, I'm in very good humor this morning. But, say, Mack, I'm maddest when I joke. Well, I won't joke with you ; wait till I strike Roosevelt! But, McMush, my boy, don’t talk; just think. I'll talk. What if the people do want you to talk! Oh, jumping jiminy, why can't Isay what Vanderbilt did about the people? Well, Wobbly, you can talk, but mind you don’t say anything. Good-bye! CENTRAL! No, Billy, I don’t want you—go away! CENTRAL! Can’t you get him at Albany? Try Glen Cove or Oyster Bay, what- ever the place is where he keeps a residence ! Try San Antonio! You have! Try Washington ! Gi'me the Adjutant-General ! Corbin! This is Senator Hanna Has Roosevelt gone to China? Why don’t you know? Find out! Be quick— I DON'T WANT ANY COMMIS- SIONS FOR MY FRIENDS! I WANT ROOSEVELT! Hello! Who's that? Central? What's that! Got him! Where did you find him? “LIFES In the Governor's room at Albany? I don’t wonder you didn’t think to look there first. All right! Tell him I want him at once. (Waits at the receiver.) . . This is Col. Bryan! Is that Gen. Stevenson? Adlai, I think we ought to get to- gether soon and arrange our speeches. Of course, what I say goes—— It'll be easier for you to get on my platform than for me to follow you. Now you've been anti-Civil Service and Civil Service, and low tariff and high tariff, and expansion and anti- expansion—Is that right? Say, Ad, you've been nearly as lively as McKinley. Don’t get angry. This is all in con- fidence—just friendly heart to heart talk. Now, just forget everything you've been, and follow me— just become a Bryanite. Consistency? Say, Ad, do you want to be Vice-President? Well, then, don’t let me hear another word about consistency from you. ‘Yours not to reason why ; yours but to talk and— ” What'd you do last time you were elected ? Just thought? I wonder if that wouldn’t be a good plan now? It will, I'm sure. Oh, thanks; but I don’t mind speaking at all. No, it never affects my throat. Well, Adlai, I can't help it if you do want totalk. You can’t do it; that’s flat. Now, see here; do you want to be Vice-President again? Very well, then, I do the talking! (Hangs up the hook.) He wants to be Vice-President twice! My gosh! And to talk himself! Say, Adlai must have an awfully slow time at home !., Life’s Guide to Voters. PPOR War, Teddy, Taxation and Trusts, vote for William Me- Kinley. For the Constitution, Peace, Panic and Populism, vote for W. J. Bryan. * Except in rhyme.” The Fatal Rhyme. HERE was a man upon a time Who could not speak except in rhyme. He could not voice his smallest wish. He could not order soup or fish He could not hail a passing car. He could not ask for a cigar, And let a rhymeless sentence mar His speech. He could not vent despair, Anger or rage—he could not swear, “ He could not order soup or fish.”* He could not even have bis say On common topics of the day, The dreadful cold—the awful heat, The rise in coal, the fall in wheat. He could not rise to give his seat In crowded car to maiden sweet, Or buy a paper in the street Except in measured rhyming feet. comicbooks.com