Life — August 9, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE EMPRESS DOWAGER. In the turbulent Land of the Jasamine, Of the queue and the almond eye, A lady rules (and you bet abe rules !), And name it Is Just Tsu Ts. Though she isn't the hub of a woman's club, New woman and wil that game, She's an unadorned Feminine Autocrat, And she gets there (you Let!) Just the same. When she wants a thing doue tn her bappy realm, Be t murder or war or Joss, She never lacks friends to accomplish her ends, And It's easy to see Who's boss ; Though she's much like the queen who # thousand years tack Ruled the roost as tmpertal dame, She can give cards and spades to your up-to-date maids, And she gets there (you Let !) Just the mame. She Isn't so much on the p'atfo-m splel, On Lallot-box talks and il that, pr does she appear In a masculine gear, In trousers and brother's sthif bat ; She's too much engrossed with affairs of her own, (Some neat little tricks | could name), To worry or vex with the woes of her sex— But she gets there (you Let !) Just the same, She isn't emancipated at all Like dames of our etvillzed climes ; What she doesn't know about Herr Max 3 Wouid Ol! Nordau’s books many times, She's * downtrodden, shackled, the servant of man, Oppressed with her heritage, shame"? — Bat in splte-of her fate I'm constrained to relate, She gets there (you bet t) J rdan, SEIS§ORS AT NvLLv She doesn't talk much on her natural right, But she'll stand for a row in Pekin, And her wink on the quiet ts good for a riot Among the rid-raif of Tlen-Tstn. And many a noble who wears the blue plume, Turns pale at the sound of her name, And sadly reftects that, in spite of her sex, She gets there alas 1) Just the same, For she 1s a relic of years gone by Before women ever were “new,” When ladies like Kate In Slavonia sate Dictating what Peter should do, Or that naughtter Kate of the Medict tine Brought nations to glory or slrame, And ruled by the wile of a pout or a smile, And got there (you bet!) Just the same, — W, A, Irwin in San Francisco News-Letter. AN Omaha man, having sent bis young hopeful to spend the hot season on his grandmother's farm, Instructed the lad to write regularly. Jnly 2,a month after thelr parting, the father recelved the following : “ Dear Popa: 1 am very well and having @ good time please send me a dollar to spend on the Fourth of July. Grandma has been well all summer they are selling two bunches of firecrackers fur five cents here I have got thirty cents saved up to buy fireworks will you pleaxe send me & pistol and a lot of paper caps. Last Sunday 1 went to Sunday-school and the teacher told us alout feeding tve thousand with five loaves and two fishes are you going to send me a Lox of fireworks like you did last summer, I kaw a box kite In a store yesterday and the man sald you could send {t up with a bunch of crackers on itat night and make fine sight I would Like to have a box kite for the fourth, We are al: well at present & hope you are enjoying the same great blessing what are roman candles worth in Omaha | must close don’t forget tie dollar, Kiss mamma and the baby for me when will you send the money. Goodby. From your loving son.” — Ware. A DETERMINED lady from the West visited Washingtoa, D.C., not long ago, for the purpose of Interviewing @ niem ber of the Cabinet on a subject of Interest to her. She called, ‘As It happened, Just at the thine when the frauds in the Cataa postal department were made pubilc, and the majority of the President's advisers, almorbed In considering the matter, had given tnstructions that they were not to be disturbed. “So you refuse to take my card to the Secretary?” asked the determined lady of the messenger. “It would be against my orders,and 1 don't dare to," replied the messenger, politely ‘The visitor turned away fn high dadgeon, but @ happy thought occurred to her, and she retraced her steps. “Here, my man,” she sald tnsinuatingly, “bere ts Any cents ; now will you take my card int"? “I'm paid a bigger salary than that to keep your card out, muadain,” responded the darkey, shaking his head. — Argonaut. Feppy : Mrs, Brownrig always speaks of her physician, Dr. Sticker, as an “old war-horse.” Isn't todd? Duppy: Oh, 1 don't know. They say ho ts a terrible charger. — Boston Transcript. “TL MIGHT ag well tell ye before we go any fa'ther,” sald the witness, who had been getting rather the better of the lawyer, “that ye needn't expect to rattle me by askin’ fool questions." #” retorted the lawyer. w. I've riled three boys, an' got two grandsons that’s keeptn* me trained all the time.” —Indianopolts Pres, reat Britain. national x London, Bream's GENTS. The Inter- juilding, Chancery Lane, ECRorran AGENTs—Mesars. Drontano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paria, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. best best sold. “Comin’ thro’ the Rye. Good things WILL sell and the has the best custom. The stimulant comes through Hunter Baltimore Rye which In Age, Purity, Flavor is the most perfect whiskey WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Ma. BOUND VOLUME XXXV. Te Cootest Resort Near New York City. LIFE NOW READY FOR DELIVERY. Five hundred and sixty pages of text and illustrations, Iland- somely bound in green and gold, red and gold, or full black. KPrice, $2.00. The bound volume of LIFE is an ornament to any library. LONG: BEACH HOTEL LONG BRACHL, L. 1, FINE GOLF LINKS For the exclusive use of the guests of this hotel. Unexcelled cuisine, fine orchestra, surf and still-weater bathing, fishing and sailing. If you have the numbers comprising this volume, we will exchange ae for the bcund volume for 2.00. Life Publishing Company, 19 West Sist Street, N. JY. NEW YORK CENTRAL’S GRAND CENTRAL STATION, “eo THe o™" + Livery and good accommodations Jor bicycle partics, A. E. DICK, ui Proprietor.