Life — June 28, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DISAPPOINTMENT. A moonitt sky, an evening fair, And ou the lawn a loving patr ; Beneath the trees where lights are dim “ banmock swings trom mb to Wm The man and mald seek out the nook, The scene takes on an altered loo! ‘The hammock tdly swings no mor tt ® 4 wer ey Own at a? ap? here But the moonilt sky, and the evening falr, The hammock taut, with the loving pair, Are @ little bit more than the tree can stand And they all mix op when they come to land. — The Widow. “ Aut youse de nex* gemmen?”? “T believe I am. ‘Jes’ step in de sulphur box one moment, sah, an’ get fammygated accordin’ to de rules of de Bow'd of Heit. Dar, dat'sall right. Lemme spray you wid dls oMctal disumfec- Now take aseat, sah. Halr severed, sah?” o, Twantashave.” ~ Yes, sah. One moment. anty-microbe bath.” “ What are you looking at me through that glass fort’ All my razzers am takin’ an T SCISSORS AT NvLL '8 & bactiia detector, sah. Prescribed, sah, by de Boa'd of Heit." “Oh, It Is,eh? Perhaps yc me what sou have been eating.”* Suttinly, sah. I been eating de disinfected pastilies Prescribed by de Itoa'd o° Heif for de use of all bahtahs."* “Hold on. What's that tufernal odor?" “Dats only de fumigatin’ de pablahs gits once every foah hours, Jes" glance you eye along de edge of dat rizzer froo de micrumscope, sab."* “ What of It?!” “Want you to be morally sartin, sah, dat dar ain't no bacteria stnaddlin’ de aldge.” “Go whead with your Job har averagin’ pooty thin on top, sah, Looks to me like de bacilla was gettin’ in dere fine work at de roots." “Yes, I like tt that way,” “Don't you want an an! sudden death to ‘em, sah,” “AIL T want isa shave. to that strapr”? *Dat’s de oMiclal ’spection card of de Boston Boa'd of Uelf. All de razzers an’ straps has to be sent to de City Hall once every week au’ subjected to a temprachuah of two hundred and twelve degrees Fabrumheat. Little disin- fected pomotum, sah? No, Some fumigated bay rum, sah? Dat's all, rab. Brush? “Pretty Intelligent looking brush boy you have there.” “Yes, sah, He's # graduate chemist, sah, and sanitary expert, sah. De Boa'd of Helf prescribes that every bahbah shop must have one,” “There's your money, Keep the change.” *Jes* as much obliged, sah, but de Boa'd of Heit don't Allow us to take no tips dat ain't thoroughly antisepticated, sah, Call agatn, sab." — Clereland Plain Dealer, wouldn't object to telling -toxinated shampoo, sah? Its Say, what's that card hanging Nexo, fiddie In hand, sat upon his throne when a itu band of captives-was led before him, Now," he roared in royal tones, “you have your choice hetween hearing me play a study in cadenzas with the middle finger on the F string, or being burned allve at the matinee at the Collxeumn,"* “Bring on your torches!” captives, Later on Nero fiddled, and burned things, and conducted himse f {1 an outrageous manner, “ Thate to do this,” he explained, “ but they depend o me for some warm scenes tn * Quo Vadis." COLUMBUS AND THE EGO, Coucuses, having promised to stand an egg on end, failed at the Orst trial, but he reversed the egg, and It bal. anced perfectly. “Tell me, Chris," sald King Ferdinand, “why did you curn the egg over?" “ Because, Your Majesty, the chicken could not stand oa tts head.” It ts sald that Columbus got the {dea of discoveriag America from this incident. But, of course, theories are not always what they are cracked up to be. ENNIBAL'S ORATORY. “FoRWARD, my brave men!" shouted Hannttial ; «be yond the Alps Hes Italy 1*" “Bab, you talk like @ sweet girl graduate,” growled s Carthagentan colonel on the general's stuff, Later on Hannibal completed the resemblance by discor- ering that Rome was not bullt ina day, — Baltimore Amertean, “De trouble In dis life,” sald Uncle Eben, *ts dat de volce 0° duty can't do no mo'n whisper while de voce o’ pleasure uses a megaphone." —Waxkington Star. shouted the desperne 11 Newsdealers in Great Britain, The Inter Uy Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, Ca, England, AGENTS. For national London, EUROPEAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue dol'Upera, Varia, WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILL Baltumore, Md. “Established 1823. Thanks Wherever sold the public has acknowledged the American Gentleman's Whiskey Hunter Rye To be pure, old, mellow and the finest type of the purest whiskey. The Hunter raises his hatin rec” cognition of such appreciation Wa. Laxanan & Son, Baltimore, Md. @ie evervwe KREMENTZ GENUINE ONE PIECE COLLAR BUTTON Has the name “ Krementz? stamped on the back, showing quality, whether sollil or plate. as our plate outwears some solld bations, Beware of imitations. You get ® new one without charge in case a genuine Krementz button ts damaged from any cause. Special styles for Ladies’ Shirt Walsts and Children’s . Sold by all jewelers. The Story of a Collar Button free on request. KREMENTZ & CO., 60 Chestnut St., Newark, N. J. Why Take Chances When you can be sure of it? OLD OVERHOLT * Bottled in Bond"? direct from the barrel at the distillery. A. Overnott & Co., PITTSBUKO, PA. A Powder for the Feet. Shake Into Your Shoes Allen's FooteEase, a powder for th feet. It cures painful, swullen, smarting, Becroue foot, ond instantly takes ti eat comfort discovery of the ag Meats PostecEaee takes tie pt-butiee oy nes fon] any, tie certain curefory Callous and bot, ¢ , TRIAT, PACKAGE } “Oh.What Rest CU , dComtortl” ALLEN S. OLMSTED, Le Roy, W. ¥.5) Comicbooks.com