Life — June 28, 1900 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

554 this way you will be able to fit a set of swear words to each club as you go along. No matter what kind of a shot you are playing—whether your ball is at the bottom of a duck-pond or lodged in a tall tree— always fix your mind on some spot where you are willing to bet a thousand to one your ball will not go, and then do your best not to put it th Do not pitch your ball when Tar and feather it; or, see, and you are making an approach shot. still, if there is no other player near to ‘our ng for mushrooms, take the shot over one of the most important parts of golf, You can lose if you try hard not to, than on the putting green as long as Talk it over, and explain how you had not made such a blankety The other players back of you, who have been waiting, will appreciate this. It helps them to keep an even temper, which is necessary to a good golfer. Never try to put a twist on your ball with your club, Try to twist the club, and if that doesn't work, bang it on the ground, knock it up against a tree, or hammer it across your shins. Remember that it always costs more to replace a club than it does a ball, and one of the reasons for playing golf at all is to see how much pu can spend in a given time. er be discouraged because you happen to start out well. times a man can keep it up for three or four holes more. Above all things, do not lose sight of the fact that golf is the most important influence of your life. When you are not playing, talk about it. You will be surprised how, in a short time, everything else will assume its relative value, and golf will be to you light—the only real thing in the world worth living for. possible after you have near you came to th iot of yourself. “ 7 HY was Swayback arrested?'’ Cumso asked. “ He appropriated $4,300,”’ replied Cawker. “But Congress appropriated $720,000,000, and there are many Congressmen-at-large.” A MUSICAL ACCIDENT. Journalistic Enterprise. sox ETIME ago, how long we do not know, This mother earth into space was hurled ; ‘As near as ancient records go to show, The thought was first suggested by the ** WORLD.” The records were at fault, for now we see, Accounts about this matter don’t compare : Great headlines bear the startling news to me: The “JOURNAL” whirled the earth off into air, And while the earth was cooling off for man, A protoplastic egg was thereon laid : Announcement to the tadpole whence he sprang, In columns of the “EVENING WORLD" was made. But now 'tis proved the “ EVENING WORLD” was lat All yellow-bellied bullfrogs now agree ; And Georgeous Red-Dyed Headlines plainly state ‘The “JOURNAL” first announced their pedigree. And since the day when Adam was accursed, Of all that’s happened, either great or small, Both * JOURNAL” and the * WORLD” have told it first, Before the other heard of it at all. An Icy Trust was lately made to bust, When with a nickel morsel it was hit ; “JOURNAL”? or “ WORLD"? Which dealt the blow so just? Each paper says, “DEAR PUBLIC, I AM IT.” “Twas I that downed the monster with my thrust, And gave the Mayor's heart those Icy Shocks ; ‘Twas I that scared all owners in the Trust, From City Hall to Wall Street and the Docks. “ My yellow dust with lavish hand I used. Bought legal lore ; laid bare stockholders’ names, And showed how public faith has been abused By use of public power for private gains.” JZ °° ° ‘Twas you, and who you are the Public( ‘ knows ; It knows this, too,—that what is new is first ; Trite truth, and here's another with it goes, That it's not new when by the “ WORLD ” reHears(t)ed. Charles Nox, N Kansas, one has to step lightly and speak softly, and take heed that his views are such as his hearers think he ought to hold, A confiding State Normal School teacher, Professor Christman, lately divulged at a Mothers’ Congress out there that men, though subject to sexual attraction, don't really love women, What he was arguing for 1s not recatled—perhapa that men make bad mothers—but, anyhow, he made some of the Kansas women so very angry that they banded together to dohim out of his Job. They very nearly accompilshed It, too, for the vote of the six regents on Christ- man’s case was atte. Now the proposition 1s that the Kansas girls shai) boycott the school where Christman ts employed. Boo! What a hag-ridden state ! Let the poor man alone, ladles. There 1s a thread of truth in what he sald, which dates from creation and will last till Judgment day, but, no doubt, he pat It a great deal too strong. But even If he did, let him live to learn better, You strenuous Western females