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Life, 1900-06-21 · page 18 of 20

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Taxx heart, O ye that sing to-day And charm not—be content! Who knows? Admiring people may Form clubs when ye have pared away ‘To find out what ye meant, —CAleago Times-Herald. “1 WOULDN'T like to be on one of those expeditions to the North Pole, wou!d yout" “No ; I prefer the South Pole.”” “Hoh! What's the ditference between the two?!” “ All the disference in the world."—PAlladelphia Press. HAVE IT IN YOUR HOUSE. With telephone service you can reach everyone you want ina few seconds. It puts the whole organization of a great city at your fingers’ ends day and night. It may be had in Manhattan for $608 year. New York Telephone Company, 111 West 38th St., 15 Dey St. ‘Tue leading man of ® melodramatic company touring in the provinces fell tl! in a minor Scotch town. The hero rile had to be taken by his understudy, who was talented, slender, At the crisis of the play, the princess—who happened | on this occasion to be not leas substantial than lovely—faints and falls, and the hero's task ts to lift her up and carry her from the stage. ‘The understudy, realizing the dimiculty of the task before bim, hesitated perceptibly. Then there | was @ bush, broken at last by a thin voice from the gallery : “Just tak’ what ye can, mon, and come back for the rest 1" — Exchange. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. All the attractions of hotel life, with the comforts and privacy of home. WHILE 1 was abroad I witnessed @ duel in France,” nybody hurt?" Yea ; one of the principals had a rib broken embracing the other after the combat was over.” — Philadelphia North American. GexTLe spring had come, The young grass was growing by the roadside along which they strulied. Love fired the youth's breast. “Ah1 Miss Stiles—Eaith 1" he erled, suddenly, lace my happiness in your hands t no! Not now!" she begged. “ And why not now “ Because I need both hands to manage my skirts."* And it was, indeed, true, for the road was muddy, as roads usually are In the spring.— PAlladelphia Press. “Llove Coox’s LM PRKIAL quality. Dry, pun lovely bouquet. CHAMPAGNE — Extra Dry and extra , emits deliclous aroma and has Tue undaunted Corporal Caithness, 80 conspicuously dar. ing ina “pinch” at the Rattle of Waterloo, was asked If he did not fear they should lose the day. No, no," sald be; “1 knew we could notdo that, My only fear was that we should all be killed before we had time to win It," Argonaut, Doctor oF THE OLD SctooL: The child appears to be teething. Doctor oP THE New SCHOOL: Impossible! The bacte- riological diagnosis discloses no trace whatever of the characteristic teething bactllus. — Detrott Journal. “Tow are you getting on with your photography ?”” “Well,” answered the young man with brown finger Ups, “I'm doing better, The snap-shot portrait I took of Mr. Curmudge must have been recognizable.” “You are sure of that.” “ Perfectly ; for as soon as Curmudge saw it he sald he could whip the man who made that picture.” — Washington Star, OSCAR’S SAUCE ““As served at the Waldorf Astoria.” A spoonful will make a poor joint good. For hot and cold meats. s teaches by mail with perfect success Alois P. Swobodda ts cncentta ctetisc mete ot s Phystological Exercise without any ‘Apparatus whatever and requiring but afew minutes time in your own room Just before retiring. By this condensed syatem more exercise can be obtained in ten minutes than by any other tn two hours and it is the only one which does not overtax the heart It ts the onty natural, easy and speedy method for oltalning perfect health, physical development and elasticity of mind and body. ABSOLUTELY CURES CONSTIPATION, INDIGESTION, SLEEPLESSNESS, NERVOUS EXHAUSTION and revitalizes the whole body. Puplis are of both sexes ranging in age from fifteen to elghty-s1x, and all recommend the system. Since no two people are inthe same physical condition tndividual Instructions are given in each case. Write at once for full information and Booklet containing endorsements from many of America’s leading citizens to ALOIS P. SWOBODA, 34-36 Washington Street, CHICAGO, ILLS. What Are— >» HE CLUB= COCKTAILS Drinks that aro famous tho world over. Made from the best of liquors and used by thousands of men and women in their own homes in placo of tonics, whose composition is un= known, Aro they on your sideboard? Would not such a drink put new life into the tired woman who has shopped all day? Would it not be the drink to offer to the husband when ho returns home after his day’s business? Choico of Manhattan, Martini, Tom or Holland Gin, Vermouth, York or Whiskey is offered. sale by all Fancy Grocers and Dealers generally, or write to G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., 20 Piccadilly, W. London, Eng. | @ BRILLIANT ENTER’ @ PERFECT SERVICE and ILLUSTRATED BOOKLET ON APPLICATION Americas Leading Summer Hotel and the Social Center 4 Of Saratoga Springs@s OPEN UNTIL OCTOBER ist, 1900. ONSTRUCTED entirely of brick, and divided into five sections by sold fire-proof walls ex- tending from cellar to roof. The Cottage Wing, facing the beautiful Court, offers all the seclusion and comforts, including baths and steam heat, of private Luxurious accommodations en suite, or comfortable single rooms, with or without baths, GOLF LINKS and POLO GROUNDS UPON WHICH HOTEL GUESTS HAVE PRIVILEGES -TAINMENTS @ CUISINE