Life — June 21, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

act te (Date 1900, The Diplomatic Workshop of Bustum Pasha, Bustum asleep on divan; telephone bell ringing at his ear.) Bustem (yawning): Eh,oh! Whattsit? That compen- sation? (Picks up papers, and goes to telephone.) Malloo, are you there? Bustum Pasha, About those misstonartes. Ent ‘On yes, we shall pay almost directly now. Can'twe do it sooner? Oh yes, I'll consult my Government at once, and ring you up. (Makes face at telephone, winks, ard gors to weep again.) act it. Bustum, with an expression of * goes to telephone, (Date 1920. Scene as before, « Well, 've been to sleep, 1 belle which has teen ringing for hours.) Bestem: Halloo, McKinley? Uh, indeed, not President now, So sorry. That compensation’s ready ; twenty pounds, wasn'tit? Eh! twenty what? You must be mistaken. Go to where, did you say? Oh, all right, keep your hair on, and TU inquire, (Kings af, and goes to sleep again.) acr itt. (Date 1990, Scene as before. Bastum wakes himself with snoring ; sits up, rubbing his eyes with moldy papers, and goes to telephone.) Beste: By the beard of the Prophet, I fee! all the better for that nap; and—halloo! Bustum Pasha, Are you President?— En? King Carnegie did you—Eh? American Congratulate you, I'm sure. I—what did you say? That compensation case, certainly, Let's see, how much was it you were to pay us? Ob, was it? Ah, then, I'll Jook into the matter, and ring you up directly. 1 SESORS AT WLlv (Date 2000, Bustum’s successor discovered at telephone.) Bestem Tue Secoxp: Emperor of America—Amer— Ch, compensation, Don't remember paying you any compen— Eh? Owe you compensation, do wet Must be some mistake, your Majesty. T'll— Did you say damages? Oh,damnai— Tut! tutt Well, look in any time you're passing ; always glad to see you. You'll come round now! All right. (Rings off telephone ; puts * Office to Let in window, remoces cash-bor, and goes to Greece tn a fruit-boat.) (To be discontinued in our nezt.) —Tranatated from the German by The Literary Digest. “Weng you Interested at the plano recital?” asked the musician. “Well,” answered Mr. Cumrox, “{t was a little slow at first ; but after I caught the xpirit of tt and got to guessing with the others whether ft was time to applaud or only a rest, It got to be quite a game.""— Washington Star. “Am,” she alghed, as she looked pensively out across the spreading flelds, “there's nothing so rare as @ day in June,” “Ob, 1 don't know,” he answered, with recollections of recent experiences at the club, “four kings are not so plentiful." — Chicago Times-Herald. “Tom” HIGGINS used to have a place up at the head of Lisbon where the tiger lashed tis tall, The sounds therein were the mellow rustle of the cards, the volce of the dealer saying, “ How many will you have, gentlemen?” and the forcibie ejaculations of the party who falled to «fi1," One night all the tables were occupled. ‘There was a rap on the door, Higgins, with bis quiet indifference to things that did not Interest him paid no attention to the ripping. But the man outside was tmpatient. He kept knocking. At last Higgins went to the door, and, without unlocking At, he cries “Who are you, and what do you want?" I am So-and-so, and I want to get in and play.”* ‘The man was a notorious loser, ‘Tom looked around atthe group tn the room. Then be turned to the door and sald to the man outstde : “Shove your money under the door and go away. That will save you Ume and us trouble.” —Lewtston Journal. Ir {s recorded that a Scottixh tankeeper once sald of the late Duke of Argyll : “His grace 1s in a verra deeficult poseetion whatever, Mis pride of Intellect will no’ let him associate with men of his ain birtn, and his pride of birth will no’ let bim associate with men of hts atn intellect.” — Argonaut. “AND what does the story of the prodigal son teach ust asked the teacher. “It teaches us how to get the fatted calf,” was the prompt reply of the bad boy at the foot of the class, — Chteago Post, A LITTLE girl wanted more buttered toast, but was told that she'd had enough, and that more would make her til, “Well,” sald she, “give me anuzzer plece and send for the doctor," — Tit Bits. Yor sale by all national News Company, Bream's Building, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s Ali! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md ewadealera in Great Uritain. ‘The Inter- Chancery Lane, EUROPEAN AGENTS3—Messrs. 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