Life — June 14, 1900 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

At a Gathering of Genius. ISS SIMPKINS had been invited to a luncheon. Not a usual gathering of matinée girls and giddy young matrons, but a function to which many women known as “ Literary Lights” were bid in fact, was the only unimportant guest. Mrs. Brown wanted some one, who was not too busy being famous, to appreciate the others. She mused as she read her invitation. Ld if I am to be part of the scenery, I will at least be a magnificent background.” So she donned her most stunning frock, “T really don’t suppose they will talk of a thing I can even understand,” she thought as the fatal hour approached. ‘I'm rather sorry now I accepted. 1 thought it would be such fun to say I had met all these noted women. However, there is one comfort, they will probably not notice me. Of course, their minds are miles beyond noting people’s clothes and that really is my only recommend. I hope I shall be able to remem- ber some of t er things they sa: it will certainly be a great education to me to just sit back and listen.” The buzz and chatter was very like the ordinary female noise to which she was accustomed, but she murmured appropriate pleasant- ries to each and sat down a little nervous but resolved to look inter- ested at least. This is what she heard: sorry I am late but the wretched dressmaker kept me.” » glad you liked it; my publishers are delighted, of course.” “Yes, I met him the other night, he is perfectly charming.” “Such hair, and he really it a bit conceited.” “* T spent the morning shopping and am thoroughly worn out.” “No, I did not go. I hate such crushes, you know.”” 0, I have not read it, I gw very little time for reading.” “What an extremely nice entrée this is. this winter.” sorry I was out, do come again soon.” “ Yes, saw it last night; stunning leading man she has.” “Thad such a fright last night. A man sitting next me in a car became suddenly insane.” “Oh! what a stunning incident. What magnificent material.” “Yes, I shall write it into my next story.” (Chorus, as they rise to leave.) “ Perfectly charming time, enjoyed it so much.” “Well, dear, how did you enjoy it?” asked the hostess as the last genius departed, and Miss Simpkins arose to go. “Well, it really seems incredible to me that those people are capable of the work they do. I never heard anything more stupid than their conversation,” said Miss Simpkins, impolitely, for she felt that she had been cheated. “Why, my dear, stupid girl, people of their distinction do not have to exert themselves to be entertaining. It is enough that they are present. Their brilliancy is for publication only." “ It has been an education after all,” meditated Miss Sim; as she went home. MY. LL, OLLIBOY : I see that another minister has made ita rule not to marry divorced persons. Gaysoy: Is that so? Well, if ministers are not more careful they may soon find themselves debarred from good society. My cook is really a «LIFE« An Easy Way Out. NE of the most painful tricks that the newspapers play on us, is to garble the speech of any man on a subject. upon which he is thoroughly informed, and capable of enlightening the public. The rule is to cut the speech in proportion to its value. For example, Carl Schurz recently made one of the ablest arraignments of the present Administration that has been made, which, in a comparatively brief space, contains just the kind of truths that should be brought home to the American people. Mr. Schurz made the following facts apparent: First—That Congress had solemnly deciared in the beginning that Cuba ‘ought to be free and tudependent. Sevond—That before the treaty with Spain, those who knew, from Dewey down, had declared the Filipinos even more capable of governing them- selves than the Cubans, Third—That while the Pillpinos were fighting for us and against Spain, As our allles. we permitted them in every possible way unoftictally to believe that we were helping them to their independence. And after we bad bought off Spat, basely turned on them, Fourth—That we have been. and are now, en} people at the rate of one thousand to Bfteen bun poses of “ Kenevolent Assimilation.” Futh—That the entire Administration, from the President down, and aided and abetted by the press, bas been engaged in a ayatematic attempt, by misstatements and other tricks, to keep the actual facts from the people, Mr. Schurz challenged denial of these facts, and his chal- lenge has remained unanswered. All the Republican papers either ignored his statements completely, or slurred them over. It takes a prize-fight or a poisoning case to bring out the resources of our daily press. zed in killing off these ‘& month, for the pur- Mrs, Apple Worm: OW, DOCTOR! I'M 80 GLAD YOU CAME! WE'VE MOVED INTO A GREEN AYPLE, AND NOW ALL THE CHILDREN HAVE THE CRAMPS.