Life — June 7, 1900 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“TEIE™ ENO.OF.CENTURY EPITAPH. Here lies & poor woman who always was busy ; She lived under pressure that rendered her dizzy. She belonged to ten clubs, and read Browning by sight ; Shoue at luncheons and teas, and would vote tf she might. She served on a Schoo! Board with courage and zeal ; She golfed and she kodaked, and rode on a wheel. She read Télstol und Isen, knew microbes by name, Approved of Delsarte, and loved to shoot game. Her children went in for the top education ; Her bushand went seaward for nervous prostration. One day on her tablets she found an hone free ; ‘The shock was so great that she died Instantly. —Pick-Me-Up. ‘Tne spirit of love and kindiiness to all which pervaded every word and deed of Phillips Brooks did nor hinder his Keen appreciation of others’ falllngs and shortcomings, or bis own. “Why in the world doesn't Brown write his auto- biography and have It published?” sald one of the Bishop's friends, referring to an Incessant talker and most egotistical man, who bad been wasting an hour of the Bishop's most preclous time by aretearsal of some unimportant happenings. “Why, he'd rather tell It, of course,” sald the Bishop ; and then like a flash came regret for the quickly-spoken truth, and he turned on his friend with # balf-bumorous, halt- distressed face. “What do you mean by asking me such a question as that when I'm of my guard?” he demanded, reproachfully, — Youth's Companton. “ Is not Snorkins a rising man in politics? * “Naw; he Is one of those fellers that would take the nomination for Vice-President if t was offered to him —Boston Commercial Bulletin, DvRIXo @ committee meeting preceding the late Ecu- menical Conference in New York, @ speaker was dwelling upon the cheapuess of human life in China. He dwelt es- pecially upon the fact that, when # Chinaman ts condemned to death, he may always find s substitute to die in his place. “And,” he added, “ I have heard that many poor fellows earn their living by acting as substitutes in that manner !”” —Exchanae. Tus soctety man ts a strange specimen of growth, whose popularity among his crowd {sa vacillating nonentity. His pocketbook is his pendulum. 80 long as that swings freely the soctal clock registers the right time. No matter who or what he may assume to be, or be tn fact, the golden calf will be worshipped, though {t have the tail of @ monkey or the ears of an ass.— The Schoolmaster. HAVE IT IN YOUR HOUSE. With telephone service you can reach everyone you want tna few seconds. It puts the whole organization of s great clly at your fingers’ ends day and night. It may be had tn Manhattan for $60.8 year. New York Telephone Company, 111 Weat 38th St., 15 Dey St. A CONGR¥SSMAN tells the story that, being selected to deliver @ eulogy on # deceased colleague whom he had not “known, he consulted Mr. Reed, then the Speaker, upou what to say. “Say anything except the truth,” was the reply; “it's customary."— Argonaut, A suorkezren wrote to one of his customers as follows: “Lam able to offer you cloth like the enclosed eample at half acrowna yard, In case Ido not hear from you, I shall conclude that you wish to pay only two shillings a yard. In order to lose no time, I accept the last mentioned price.”” — Tu. Bits. ‘Tue Arizona editor, who divides his spare hours betwey, reading Kipling and cleaning bis gun, bas jast bung this ny placard to bis sanctum : * Don't submit spring poetry — lest we forget."* — Chicago Nee, HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. * The tdeal hotel of America for permanent oF transiex guests, A stony, apropos of a visit of the Japanese Prince, betng told in Paris about a former Japanese Embassy, wig came to France to arrange about three free ports which wer to be opened to trade in Japan and France respectively, Ty French Minister for Foreign Affairs chose Yokohama, Yetss and Han-Yang. The Japanese Ambassador smiled and wer away. Soon afterward Japan signified that she had selec, the three French ports of Havre, Marseilles and Southampira ‘The French Foreign Office went into fits of laughter at ty blunder, and pointed out that Southampton was tu England “We are perfectly aware of 1t,"" replied the Japanee Ambassador, “and Han-Yung 1s in Corea.” — Shipping World. Tak woman who wishes she were @ man has neve found out that she ts a woman.— The Criterion. Toexe is no better dinner wine than Cook's Impera Extra Dry Champagne. It helps digest your food, A wibow in Yorkshire, commiastoning the local sta mason to erect a tombstone, stated that she wished to bare ‘ove that would do credit to her Inte husband and herselt. +L don’t want nothing out of th* way, bat bandsome sot simple," she explained. “+ Willlam Wilson, dled Octoter 4th, 1896, aged eighty-five. The good die young.’ — Exchange Established 1823. WILSON Fsrererooxs 450 Varieties. d For Sale by alt Stationers. Wars, Gandn, 8.1. THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. 2 2 %, tow tot. STEEL PENS other make of pen is so good, Get Esterbrook’s always. WHISKEY. That’s All! | | THE WILSON DISTILLING Co., SON Dis Have a good Cigar. It’s just as easy to havea good smoke as a They cost you the same. The Brunswick is good. again, Look for Arrow Head on Every Cigar. of the JACOB STAHL, JR. & CO., Makers, 168th St. & 3rd Ave., N. Y. City. Menu on ocavesovesvonenensonesnercertt yr Ont. You will like it and bay it Wate, ngue of Summer pastimes, without the sting. It bids you welcome to the REAL playgrounds of the nation where the ozone is a health-lift and where tired humanity finds sweet har- mony in rest, recreation and reflection. And besides, it speaks in favor of the most luxurious train service in the world. The book (beautifully illustrated) is free to you. Send six cents, enough to pay postage is all we ask. Address, GEO. H, HEAFFORD, Gen'l Passenger Agent, Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Ry., Old Colony Building, CHICAGO. J. H. HILAND, Traffic Manager. [rst you where to get the honey White Rock ts selected for the first-class banquet menu because It has the sparkle and piquancy of charged water without the rsnness and urn Because it keeps the Intellect clear and the appetite keen. Its exclusive mellow quality ene hances the pleasure of any refection. Pour pits of Wise Rech wl be sent anyehery fe tbe Usted Siates. prepaid. open eens of Baw. After drlabing faut loss you will bay 1s ropulaly of your dealer, Docket FREE. White Rock Mineral Spring Company, Waukesha, Wis.