Life — June 7, 1900 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOR BOOK - BORROWERS, 1 of my Spenser quite bereft, Last Winter sore was shaken ; Of Lamb I've but a quarter left, Nor could I wave my Bucon, They plek’d my Locke, to me far more ‘Than Rramat’s patent worth, And now my losses 1 deplore Without a Home on earth. ‘They still have made me slight returns, And thus my grief divide ; For, oh! they*ve cured me of my Burns, And eased my Akenside, But all I think I shall not say, Nor let my anger burn, Por as they have not found me Gay, They have not left me Sterne. —Notes and Queries. Snontty after ex-President Cleveland was first Inaugu- rated, # Butflonian bade his friends good-by, explatning that he was golng down to Washington to see * Grover,” and, considering that they were old friends, he was confident thar er” would give him some nice office. In due time he reached Washington and the President; but, alas, hls efforts: to Induce Grover to give him any oftce, foreign or domestic, proved unsuccessful, Finally, tn desperation, the Butfalontan watd : “ Now, look here, Grover ; before leaving home 6 told my friends that I thought you'd give me something, and I hate, sou know, to go back empty-handed. 1 don't care so much About getting an office, but I don't want that Butfulo crowd A SEGORS AT NLL to have a laugh at my expense.” Cleveland reflected a moznent, and then sald : “Well, Jim, 111 tell you what's the best I can do for you. You can go bark and tell your friends that I offered you the consulship ut Liverpool—and that you declined It.” —Argonaut, A STAGE heroine, who happened at the same time to be an able executant on the plano, had to play night after night the same part at @ popular theatre. She anxtously longed to give the audience w specimen of her musical atilities, but her part in the performance afforded no opportunity for such a display of her powers Her inventive gentus came to the rescue, and she dis- covered @ place in the action where planist and heroine might go hand tn hand. When the curtain rose, revealing. the desert of the Bluck Mountains, the spectators beheld, to thelr astonishment, a splendid grand plano placed at the foot of the rocks. The heroine, with the haste of one who ts pursued, climbed down the rocky path, stopped enraptured wt the sight of the plano, and exclaimed : “The savages have burned down our cottage, murdered my father and mother, and driven away our cattle; but, Heaven be pratsed, they have left me my piano, Music shall comfort me in my distress, and if the ladies and gentemen permit, | will play th a short selection, Exchange. A Frexcit Journal reports @ certain unpopular and tire- some author as saying to.an acquaintance : “*{ should like to do something which no one has ever done before, and which no one will ever do again,” “Easy enongh, acquaintance, “But whatrhall I do?” “Write a favorable notice of one of your books !"— Argonaut, THE BLACK VALLEY RAILROAD. Standard Gauge. International Line. Chartered Unte the Laws of All States. No Stop Over Checks, 5, Return Trains. Stations on the Main Line. A’v Cigaretteville, Liv Cigaretteville. L'v Mild Drink Station, Moderation Falls. Tipplersvill v Topersvale, Lv Drunkards' Cor Liv Rowdys’ Wood. A’ Quarrelsburg (Remains one hour to abuse wife and children.) Lv Quarrelsburg. 1.0 pe A’y Lusty eh. -Lipe A'y Bummers' Roost . A’y Beggars’ Town. A’v Criminals’ Rendezvous A’y Detiriumville. Avy Rattlesnake § Avy Prisonburg. A’v Devil's Gap (brakes all off). A’v Dark Valley . < (Passengers may feel some discomfort inhaling sulpharca, fumes, but never mind, there 1s no way to return.) A'y Demon Bend 1.20pm (Don’t get frightened at the dying groans you may bear) Av Perdition... oa Midnigh (Tickets for sale by all barkeepers.) AUBURN, 24,86. —Star of Hope. sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, ‘The Inter- national News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, B. C., England, AGENTS. ECROPEAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 87 Avenue de V'Opera, Paria. W.8. Sloan Have unrivaled facilities for taking entire charge of the Interior Decoration of Private. Houses and are prepared to submit origt nal designs in colors, make esti mates, and give expert decorative suggestions, This department is in charge of practical artists of great ability and is complete to a getail. CORRESPONDENCE INVITED. Broadway -& 19th SL NEW YORK R. H. RUSSELL, PROMINENT PLAYERS MAUDE ADAMS IN ‘THE LITTLE MINISTER.” WILLIAM GILLETTE AS ‘‘ SHERLOCK HOLMES.” WILLIAM FAVERSHAM 'N ‘' BROTHER OFFICERS." OLGA NETHERSOLE AS ‘‘ SAPHO."" JULIA MARLOWE AS ‘ BARBARA PRIETCHIE.”” Pamphlet Souvenirs of Drawings und Photographs, printed on heavy Plate paper and bound in artistic paper covers. Size, 9 X 12 inches, Price, 25c. cach. FIVE FOR ONE DOLLAR. A Hand Book of Golf FOR BEARS. A SERIES OP IRRESISTIBLY COMIC BLACK AND WHITE DRAWINGS BY PRANK VERBECK. Size, 8 x10 inches. Price, $1.00. Lord Roberts, Gen. Kitchener, Cecil Rhodes, Rudyard Kipling. COLOR PORTRAITS BY WILLIAM NICHOLSON. Mounted on gray board, 15 x 16% inches, ready for framing. Price, $1.00 each. Mlustrated Catalogue, printed in colors, sent on application, 3 WEST 2911 ST., N. Y. Registered Trade Mark. For Outdoor Exercise. Golfing, wheeling, tennis, in fact, any outdoor exercise will be more thoroughly enjoyed if you wear underclothing that keeps the skin dry, vigorous and comfortable. Dr. Deimel’s Linen Mesh is ideal in this respect. It ab- sorbs the perspiration; allows a free circulation of air next to the body, and has all the refresh- ing coolness of pure linen. Call and examine the garments or send for booklet and samples of the fabric. Mall Orders have our Prompt Attention. “The Linen Store.” James McCutcheon & Co., 14 West 23d Street, N. Y. SPECIAL OFFER, DRAWINGS BY GIBSON, REM- ‘A 1GWSaM 8 TISZNOM ‘NOLDNI res Indi AS Ses Sickness Others AM re tenitatons