Life, 1900-04-19 · page 9 of 20
Life — April 19, 1900 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 341 This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of Life's satirical format: 1. **"The Alphabet"** - A brief joke about learning letters, with an illustration of a child at a desk. 2. **"Hydropathy"** - A dialogue between two characters discussing excessive water-drinking as a health cure. One character claims to drink "a couple dozen glasses" nightly for two or three months, attributing this to hydropathy (water-based medical treatment). The joke mocks this fad health practice by exaggerating its adherents' devotion. 3. **"More Ornamental than Useful"** and **"Not His Fault"** - Brief domestic comedy dialogues about women's names and a difficult parrot. The bottom illustrations appear to show someone learning to draw or paint, likely depicting art instruction humor. The satire targets contemporary health fads and domestic situations with gentle, period-appropriate comedy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIPE= The Alphabet. H, what a stretch of time it takes To learn our letters through; We start in life with A BC, And end with 10 U. Hydropathy. “ HY, Frank, what's the matter with you?” I said, with inex- cusable bluntness. “Il never saw a swampier looking human being in my life. You look absolutely sodden.” “I'm not surprised at that, I guess I must be water-logged,” my gucst replied, with undiluted good humor, however. ‘‘ That's partly why I accepted your invitation, You see, I've had to drink a couple of dozen glasses of water every night for the last two or three months.” “The deuce!" I ejaculated. is it—a cure?” “Not exactly,” he replied. ‘It’s more preventive than remedial. It’s the only way I can keep from breaking my legs.” “Oh, yes. Of course it is,” I jeered. I hate to be jollied. ‘Undoubtedly it saved you from splintering your shin- bones, and crushing your knees to pow- der, and smashing your thigh-bones to flinders.” **T believe, on my word, it did,” he retorted, solemnly. ‘‘ Say,” he contin- ued, taking pity on my obvious curiosity, *‘you remember Maud Morenstout, don't your” “Certainly,” I acknowledged. ‘She's that enormously fat girl, with the—" “Well,” he continued, hastily, ‘I’m “What 341 engaged to her, and she’s a little sensitive about her weight, and of course I wouldn't hurther feelings for anything.” “Oh, I congratulate you,” I said, impatiently, “But what’s that got to do with water saving your legs?” “ Why, she likes to sit on my lap,” he explained, blushing a good deal, ‘tand—and I stand it until it seems as though my legs would crack into a million pieces in another second. Then I ask her if she won't get mea glass of water, and that gives me a minute's rest, you see. Yes,” he added, pensively, ‘I believe I've drank as high as fifty or seventy- five glasses when I've stayed a little late.” Alex, Ricketts, More Ornamental than Useful. OROTHY : Papa, we girls have anew name for those men who callon us, but never take us out any where. Para: What is it, daughter? “We call them ‘fireside com- panions.’” Not His Fault. ADY (indignantly) : That parrot we bought of you hadn't been in the house a day before it began to swear dreadfully ! Deaer: But you insisted, ma’am, on getting one that would be quick to learn!