Life — April 19, 1900 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN additrable instance of “cheery stolcism " ts found tn! the letter of private in the Coldstreams, now lying wounded at Wynberg, describing his experiences in the battle at Mod- der River: “1 happened to find » bit of looking giass, It made a rare bit of fun. As it was passed from comrade to comrade, they said: ‘Have @ last look at yourself, my boy, and bid yourself good-bye.’ Then * Advance !* and we were att again.” —Pitburgh Bulletin, HAVE IT IN YOUR HOUSE. With telephone service you can reach everyone you want ina few seconds. It puts the whole organization of a great city at your fingers’ ends day and night. It may be had tu Manhattan for $60 year. New York Telephone Company, 115 West 3th St., 15 Dey St. Waite the Connaught Rangers were quartered in Edin- argh there was a great deal of drunkenness and disorder in the regiment, and the Colonel made up his nilnd that tt had to cease. So early one morning parade he ordered an old offender, who had been out all night, to he marched across the regiment's front in bis maddy tute and torn trousers, ax an awful warning. When the prisoner arrived at the left flank, he turned to the Colonel, saluted him and said, Just as if he had been some swell inspecting them, “Thank ye, Colonel ; faith, It's one ay the folnest regiments I've ever seen. Ye may dismiss them !"—Exchange. Is nest for any baby, but after that comes Gall Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Milk for young infants. ‘Thousands of letters are received telling of {ts successful use. Book “ Babies" sent free. Borden's Condensed Milk Co., N. Y. “Ang yon @ Roer sympathizer?” asked one orator, No," answered the other. “ Pillptno sympathizer?” Why not?” “ Mebbe It's lack of time. T've been reading about police scandals and political feuds and about innumerable poor, benighted people who don't think as I do, and I haven't had time to go off the continent. I'm simply a U.S. A. aympa- thizer."— Washington Star. Wey the curtain had fallen on the last act, the multitude mobbed the manager of the show. “Where,” they hoarsely clamored, ‘18 the one con- tinnous laugh which you advertised?” “Search me !*? protested the manager, “Ab, possibly it ison us!” exclaimed the maltitude, starting violently and regarding each other suspiciously, while sickening doubts gnawed at their hearts. — Detroit Journal. TuERe was a time when swearing was almost considered & gentlemanly accomplishment. An Archbishop of Canter- bary of the day, however, objected to the habit, and, calling on Lord Melbourne to discuss some business, thus apostro- phized him : Now, my lord, 1t will save time if, before we begin, we assume that everybody and everything is damned," rgonaut. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON All the attractions of hotel life, with the comforts and privacy of home. A CROSSING-SWEEPER Was trying to get @ gratuity from an excessively dandified individual, who, tn resisting, urged that he had no change—nothiug but a five pound note. “1 can get It changed for yer, sir," said the youngster. On seeing the dandy hesitate, as tf from fear of trusting him with the money, he put tn again : “If yer doubts my honor, hold my broom."—7i- Bits. A SURE enough tramp applied at the home of Squire Schwah at Avondale for something to eat. The applicant made @ most pathetic plea fur food, but the stony heart of the Squire didn’t meit. “If you'll chop that Ice off the front Pavement, I guess we can stake you to a meal." “I'm sorry,” said the tramp, “but my spectaity ts sprinkling lawns."— Ware, Tue Increase in the sales of Cook's Imperial Extra Dry Champagne 1s something enormous. Purity and superiority will tell, Sue was reading over the marriage service. She made it point always to do this, for,” as she once sald, “no matter how well you may have known @ part in the past, It always should be rehearsed before a plece Is revived.” “Till death do us part,” she read. Then she stopped to think. ‘Dear met" she commenced, “how foolish! flaven't they any confidence tn the courts? ""—Chicago Evening Post. THE ART OF DEEP BREATHING taught on scientific principles by Mras Inzz Brook. Studio: 805 Fifth Avenue. Consulting hours: 11 to 12 and 5 to 6, ‘‘When you do drink, Drink Trimble.’’ Geimbie Green Label. You no doubt are familiar with the name; convince yourself as to its superior quality and bouquet by asking for it. We guarantee that it is a pure, unadulterated Rye, 10 years old, aged by time, not artificially. AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS. WHITE, HENTZ & CO., Phil. and N. Y., Sole Proprietors, Established 1703. Rae’s Lucca Olive Oil... Combines we] Perfection! Take Chances rth of Quality = with When you can be sure of it? OLD Absolute OVERHOLT || |; “Be “Bottled In Bond? » S. RAE & 00, “Gtneatuthcny Rene Lethors til ‘A. Ovmnnout & Co., : : Established 1838. PItrenuno, PA. LIFE. Vol. 34 now ready. Bound in Maroon and Gold, Green and Gold, Full Black. PRICE, $4.00. If Copies are returned an allowance of $2.00 is made. Alcohol, Opium, Drug Using. |