Life — April 7, 1900 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tue Indians had bound their captive to the stake, when the conventional happy thought struck the latter, “If you burn me," he ex- plained, “the sun will be darkened to-morrow.” You will find,” replied the Indian, “If you calculate the parallax to the forty-third dect- mal place, that the eclipse does not take place until the day after to-morrow.” Saying which, fur these simple children of the forest were all graduates of the Government schools, they pro- ceeded with thelr barbaric slaughter.—Detrott Journal. Oe evening, at a royal dinner party, while Great Britain was in the midst of one of the periodical war scares, Princess Mary of ‘Teck, who had been puzzled g q tion of the Government, stield, who was then Premier: “What are we waiting for, Mr. Disraeli?” Prime Minister paused for a moment to ¢ up the menu, and looking at the Princess gravely replied; “Mutton and potatoes, ma‘am.” —Albany Alligator. Mrs. A y extraordinary! My nurse tells me that gentlemen are always stop- ping her In the street to admire my little girl. Mrs. B.—How lovely she must be! Mrs, Ob, L don't know, Of course, 1 think her pretty, because Iam her mother. Mrs. E.—Oh, f meant the nurse, dear! Punch. He was watching his neighbor's troublesome boy climb a tree, und he had a look of painful anxlety on his countenance “Are you afraid the lad will fall?" he was asked. SG say, MAIO, MY BROTHER I8 AT THE FRONT, DOX'T * he spied; “I'm afraid he won't.”— KNOW—AND THE OTHER DAY HE HAD A BCLLET Exchange. RIGHT THROUGH Is HeLwet. Wasn't it a LUCKY THING WE WaSN'T KILLE NT the air in the theatres vile?” “But think of the atmosphere on the stage!” “CAN'T SAY, 'M BURE—DON'T KNOW YOUR BroTUER!” Yate Record. —SMoonshine. “Do youse see that feller over there wig broom?” asked the keeper with the glass mond. “Whichun?” replied the visitor In the dollar pants. “That cock-eyed bloke wid de broom," the keeper. “ wot's remarkable about him? the visitor. “Don't say a word about ft,” sald the ki “but he's the only man in here who didn't at the Waldorf-Astoria before he came her’, Sing Sing Star of Hope. Janns Nett, the actor manager, cngaged for over productions a lady amateur whose zeal outran her dis She could not follow instructions, She had two Ly speak in the play but was not satisfied, and made op w at rehearsal, Me. Neill, T have one line fn the fret at one fn the second. Couldn't you give me one for the & act too?" Mr, Neill thought a minute of what troatie girl had cansed him and eaid : Yee, 1 the banquet wee the last act you may enter and ray: * Here isa be * Oh,” she eaid, “do I bring a ham on with met » my dea id Mr. Neill, “it is not a speech, it is a4 tession.”*— Exchange. soits 2 UNeLe *RasTUs was a good old negro who lived @ master's plantation down in Georgia, He was deeply religions, One of his frequent prayen that the good Jesus might come and take Uncle ‘ home. One dark stormy night he knelt in his lopelpes and prayed, It was a petition. ** Come, good an’ take your po' ol’ servant home, He's tired wf ‘count and wants to go, Come down, Lord, and take lg come take Uncle *Rastas home.”* ‘The old man paused. A knock resounded ebay the cabin door. * Who's dar?" eaid the old darkey. * Jesus, come to take Uncle *Rastus home." The negro looked around, stood up and sald: “Uncle *Rastus dove moved. He don't live bey more. Go on to de nex’ cabin."—Missourd Ezeeier PEAS OOOO OOOO OOO OOOOH OOOO: 0 A [lan’s First Duty is to provide for the support of his family and the education of his children. While he lives his energy supplies the means—Afterwards ] Life Insurance will accomplish the same result. The Prudential issues policies adapted to all needs and conditions, on all members of the family in good health, ages 1 to 7o. Amounts $15 to $100,000. Write for Particulars, Dept. O. The Prudential Insurance Co. of America JOHN F. DRYDEN, President HOPE OFFICE, Newark, N. J, THE PRUDENTIAL HAS THE STRENGTHOF . GIBRALTAR micbooks.com