Life — March 22, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A HAPPY LITTLE GIRL. There was a little girl, And she had alittie curl, Right tn the middle of her forehead. No room for It, she sald, Wn the ide of my bea For she lived in ® flat—which was horrid. ‘The little hat she wore, Long behind and before, Vointed up tn the alr like an arrow, And she had a little plume On the top. There wasn't room On the aide ‘cause the fat was too narrow, Her pretty ilttie mouth Always potnted north and south, Asif It only uttered “ prunes’ or prism." elther “cabbages” nor “ game" Could she undertake to name. There wasn't even room for “ rheumatism." So the dear little girl, With her pretty little curl, And her plume and her * prunes and her “ prism,” And her narrow Httle hat, Dwelt contented tn a fat, For she hadn't any room for pexstmtstn. — Chicago Tribune, Tite, man who thinks he can shoot entered @ Washington sporting goods store recently, and looked with the critleal, examining glance, which at ouce stamps one as being & aportat f experience, at a new model shotgun, He deftly raised the weapon to his shoulder and squinted down the polished barrel with a regular trap-gun-ninety-mine- out-of-a-hundred squint, He tossed it at different angles, dropped it in the hollow: of his left arm, fingered the safety lever with @ skilled hand and lovingly snapped the triggers. He opened the breech and held the barrel between his eye und the lght from the window, and sald something about the advantage of using ‘barrel reflectors” for cleaning. ‘The clerk was much Impressed. He smtted. ‘The learned gunner talked of “choke bores,” “new sixteen -gauge,? of the new “takedown, single- barrel repeating * shotguns, belng inferior to the old and tried doubie barrel gun ; of the relative qualities of * Damascus,"* bie lamntnated," “decarbonized,” “fine three-blade,"* and other barrels ; of “half-pistol grips,’ “automatic ejec- lors,” and * solid strikers." He expatiate tro-powder guarantees," “low circular hammers,” and explained to the clerk how ensy It Was to take out the “safety plunger” with safety, He was eloquent about “fat” and other trajectories.” He knew all bout “ glove," “wind,” “knife-biade,” “bead,” and “peep” sights. ‘The clerk was;much Impressed. He laughed. He gave a practical Hlustration to the admiring clerk of “how to stand when trap shooting, without muscular strain or tremor." He demonstrated the Importance, where “aperature front sights were used, of having the “apeni- ture In the bead ‘ring’ the hull's-eye."* Then he bought the gun. A week later he returned to the store as tad as one of the hares he had hunted, “Mere, you!” he cried to the clerk, angrily. take this gun back! You have cheated me! shoot 1" “T have tramped over the fields of Virginia for stx days, and banged away at all ranges at everything from a chipple “Tere, It won't 11 Newsdealers in Great Britain. ‘The Inter- , Bream's Building, Chancery Lane. bird to a cow, but never once have I brought down theg Ihave shot until my arm aches and my shoulder ts Jhave sworn until I can swear no more. Twke It back, will have you arrested for obtaining money under pretencs © What kind of shells have you been using?” asteg clerk, mtidly. These.” “Oh, that's all right, Keep the gun; tt tsa goo ‘The shells are * bianks,?’ that’s all.” It was enough.— Washingfon Star. “COLONEL. CASTLERIG will not be at his office tod sald the asistant ; ‘* he tx confined to bis home,"* “That's too lad," replied the stranger, who was, see the Colonel. ‘ What's the trouble—grip?”” “No; bis gun's out of order.” — Chicago Times Heres| .” explained the old family servant, “ Marse died er dissapp'tutment. Dese new, col” winters in de§ ts what kilt him. W'en he see bis whiskey froze, en be ter swaller it in cracked Ice, he heave a deep sigh en gm de goon’ 1"— Atlanta Conatitutton, “CAN you use a Boer dialect story?” asked the author. + No," replied the editor, we've a whole kopje of & out on the veldt."— PAllude phla North Amertean. Mus. De SILKE: I wish to give a memorial of some to the church in memory of # relative, What woul p suggest? STRUGGLING PasToR: A—er—an appropriat rated -er—new church furnace, madam, und a—s—fev of coal.— New York Weekly, ECUUPEAN AGENTS—Mesare Brentany 37 Avenue de l'Uvera, aris, Established 1823. . WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Raltimore, Md. The standard in excellence for the most genial hospitality. The standard by prescription for the building up of health. EVERY GENUINE @® ti @ KREMENTZ ONE PIECE COLLAR BUTTON Has the name “ Krementz.? stamped on the back, showing quailty, whether soll or plate, as our plate ontwear some solld buttons, Beware of imitations. You get a new one without charge In case @ genuine Krementz button IK damaged from any canse. Special styles for Ladies’ Sbirt Watsts and Children’s Dresses, Sold by all jewelers, The Storv of a Collar Button free 0 request, KREMENTZ & CO., 60 Chestnut St., Newark, N. J. HE standard of all Colognes for over 100 years. Used by the Royal and Imperial Families of Europe. An indispensable Toilet Accessory for all persons of refined taste. = Manufactured only by FERD. MULBENS, 4711 Glockengasse, Cologne /R. = U.S. Ager MULHENS & KROPFF, 35-37 White St., Six Trains Daily for comicbooks.com