Life — March 8, 1900 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

re national News ¢ London, B. C., England, AGENTS. ~B0BS" KITCHENER. You're at {t once again, Pightin’ Bobs, Co’eeding privit pain, Father Bobs ; With a big lump tn your throat You've stepped aboard the boat, But Tommy’s made a note, Dear old Bobs. ANO You're older than you was, Afghan Bobs ; That don’t algnity, hecos — Of gas or buck or bounce, So them Boers | specs you'll trounce, Fightin’ Bobs. With the Sirdar you're tn touch Gen'ral Bobs; Some chaps don't love ‘im much, Do they, Boba? ‘Is orficers confess “B ain't too gay at mess ; But the Boers will love "im tess, Won't they, Bobs? But 'e's the fighter’s frlend, n'ral Bobs, And "ts *e in think no end — Fact though—Bo! Let the young ’un fave "ix “ead, “Ell redooce the Mil 0° dead, And ‘ave victories Instead Under Hobs! ‘E's a werry punctual bloke ‘E 1s Bots. ‘#ll reach Krdger on the stroke, E will, Bobs ; So if ‘e names a date Jest write It on the slate, You'll find ‘e won't be late, Gen‘ral Boba, But Just whisper ‘im a word (Secret) Bobs, ‘Is tongue 1s sharp, I've ‘card, You know, Hobs ; We're used to damn" and curse, But tf things was the reverse, Tommy wouldn't fight no worse, Would he, obs? He don't mean any ‘arm, Old friend Bots t Let it cause yer no alarm, Dear oid Boba! But ‘e don't hoxs this crew, And as you and ‘im make two, Well—Tommy's used ter you, Malum, Bobs? —PAilip Trevor, in Pall Mall Gazette. Maw born In the mountains of Kentucky Is of feud days and fullof virus, He fisheth, fiddieth, cusseth and fghteth all the days of his mixerable life. He shunneth water as a mad dog and drinketh much mean whiskey. When be destreth to ralse h— he planteth a neighbor, and lo! he reapeth twenty fold, He riseth even from the cradle to seek the scalp ‘of bis grandsire’s enemy, wy bringeth home In his carcass the ammunition of his wy) nelghbor's wife's cousin's, father-in-law, who avengets deed. Yea, vertly bis life ts uncertain, and be knows nos] hour when he may be Jerked hence. He goeth forth on a journey half-shot and cometh tes on & shutter, shot, He riseth in the night to let the cat out, and ft tabs nine doctors three days to pick the buckshot out of bim, He goeth forth tn Joy and gladness and cometh tact] ecraps and fragments. A cyclone bloweth him {nto the bosom of his nelghtm wife, and his neighbor's wife's husband bloweth bim to Abraham's bosom before he hath time to explain, He emptteth a demijobin into himself and a shotgua to} his enemy, and his enemy's son Meth tn walt for bine election day, and 10! the coroner plougheth up a forty4 field to bury the remains of that man, Woe, woe is Kentucky, for her eyes are red wtih | whiskey, and her soul tx stated with the blood of {aoa moonshiners.— Martin ( Tez.) Democrat. IN & Pennsylvania town the Health Office was notitets & case of mallgnant typhold fever in a dwelling house a side street. A messenger was sent to paste labels ca ® doors, This functionary found himself short of fever Isa #0 he placed his last on the front door, and going aroust the back site pasted a diphtheria label there, ‘This etree stance nearly caused a pantc among the hucksters, who wal both the fronts and rears of the houses. Gee!" commented a big huckster, “dat's de seta fam'ly Lever seen, It'slucky dey ain't got a side door, Dey have smallpox on dat, sure.""— Exchange, adealera In Great Uritain, The Inter- aalo by npany, Bream's Bullding, Chancery Lane. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! ECROPEAN AGENTS—Mesars. Brestan, 57 Avenue de l'Upera, Paris, ty be, viz. = Hunter Whiskey You may be sure to always find it what itis represented Trustable A PURE WHISKEY OLD, SMOOTH, MELLOW THE WILSON DISTILLING Co., WM. LANATIAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. Baltimore, Md, @ t @ Betiwe KREMENTZ GENUINE ONE PIECE COLLAR BUTTON Has the name “Krementz’? stamped on the back, showing quality, whether soll of plate. a8 our plate outwears some solid buttons. Bewai imitations. You get a new one without charge in case a genuine Krementz button 1s damaged from any canse. Special styles for Ladies’ Shirt Watste and Children’s Dresses, Sold by all jewelers. The Story of a Collar Button free on request. KREMENTZ & CO., 60 Ches'nut St., Newark, NJ. J is crystal. The perfect cleansing Properties and absolute purity, as well as the refined and deli: cate perfume of this toilet soap, have placed it at the apex of all. SOLD UNIVERSALLY. SAMPLE CARE 18 CENTR. MULWENS & KROPFP, U. S. AGENTS, NEW YORK DSREELERETERIER DIES RGU. comicbooks.com