Life — March 8, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BOBS" ANDO KITCHENER. You're at tt once again, Fightin’ Bobs, Un’eeding privit pain, Father Bobs ; With a big lamp tn your throat You've stepped atoard the boat, Bat Tommy's made @ note, Dear old Bots. You're older than you was, Afghan Bobs ; That don't signity, becos — *Cos you're Hols. You've never ‘ad an ounce Of gas or buck or bounce, So them Boers I specs you'll trounce, Fightin’ Bobs. With the Sirdar you're In touch Gen'ral Bobs ; Some chaps don’t love ‘im much, Do they, Bobs? Is orficers confess *Fain't too gay at me: But the Boers will love ‘im lesa, Won't they, Boba? But ‘e's the ghter’s frlend, Gen'ral Bobs, And "ls “e i think no end — Fact though—Lobs ; Let the young ‘un fave ‘is "ead, “E'll redooce the bill o° dead, And ‘ave victories Instead Under Bobs! MAN born tn the mountains of Kentucky ts Of feud days and fullof virus, He Osheth, tlddieth, cusseth and fghteth ‘E's werry punctual bloke 'E ts Bobs. °F reach Kriger on the stroke, *E will, Bobs ; So If ‘e names a date Jest write It on the slate, You'll find 'e won't be late, Gen‘ral Bobs, Bat Just whisper ‘Im a word (Secret) Bobs, ‘Is tongue ts sharp, I've ‘eard, You know, Bobs ; We're used to “damn and curse, But if unings waa the reverse, Tommy wouldn't ight no worse, Would he, Bobs? He don’t mean any ‘arm, Old friend Bobs! Let It cause yer no alarm, Dear oid Bobs! But 'e don't boss this crew, And as you and ‘Im make two, Well—Tommy’s used ter you, Malum, Bobs? —Philip Trevor, in Pall Malt Gazette. all the days of his miserable life. Ile shunneth water as a mad dog and drinketh much mean whisk: When he destreth to ralse h— he planteth a neighbor, and lot he reapeth twenty fold, For sale by all Nowsdeal: London, E. C., England, AGENTS. Great Britain, The Inter. national News Company, Hream's Bullding, Chancery Lane, He riseth even from the cradle to seek the scalp ‘of bis grandsire’s enemy, wy bringeth home in his carcass the ammunition of his wih) neighbor's wife's cousin's, father-in-law, who avenge g deed. Yea, verily bis life 1s uncertain, and be knows nop hour when he may be Jerked hence. He goeth forth on a journey half-shot and cometh tag on a shutter, shot. He riseth tn the night to let the cat ont, and tt tuta| nine doctors three days to pick the buckshot out of him, He goeth forth in Joy and gladness and cometh tact | scraps and fragments, A cyclone bioweth him into the bosom of his neigbin| wife, and his nelghbor's wife's husband bioweth bim kp Abraham's bosom before he hath time to explain, He emptieth a demijobn Into himself and shotgea te his enemy, and bis enemy's son Meth in walt for bing election day, and lo! the coroner plougheth up a fortyan| field to bary the remains of that man, Woe, woe 14 Kentucky, for her eyes are red with tl whiskey, and her soul ts stated with the biood of innocs moonshiners.— Martin (Tez.) Democrat. 1x @ Pennsylvania town the Health OMice was notitedd & case of malignant typhold fever 1n # dwelling house «| alde street. A messenger was sent to paste labels oa & doors. This functionary found himself short of fever be #0 he placed his last on the front door, and golng aroast » the back sate pasted a diphtherla label there, This crea stance nearly caused @ pantc among the hucksters, who wet both the fronts and rears of the houses. “Geel” commented @ big huckster, “dats de sletal fam'ly lever seen. It's lucky dey ain’t got a side door, Deri have smallpox on dat, sure."— Exchange. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. Trustable Hunter Whiskey You may be sure to always find it what itis represented ty be, viz. A PURE WHISKEY OLD, SMOOTH, MELLOW WM. LANAIIAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. ® i ®@ EVERY evetine KREMENTZ ONE PIECE COLLAR BUTTON Has the name “ Krementz" stamped on the hack, showing outwears some solid buttons, Leware of imitations. You get a new one without charge In case a ne Krementz button ts damaged from any cause. Spectal styles for Ladies’ Shirt lity, whether soll or plate. na our p Walsts and Children’s Dresses, OARS i Oo. rier ‘cleansing properties and absolute purity, as well as the refined and deli- AY cate perfume of this toilet soap, have placed it at the apex of all. Sold by all jewelers. The Story of a Collar Button free ‘on request. KREMENTZ & CO., 6O Chestnut St., Newark, N. J. FASTEST TRAINS IN THE WORLD—On the New York Central SOLD UNIVERSALLY, SAMPLE CAKE 18 CENTS, MULHENS & KROPFP, U. S. AGENTS. NEW YORK comicbooks.com