Life — March 8, 1900 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

194 when the parties to it are worse off and more troublesome to themselves and the rest of the com- munity than they were before. When folks who were poor sticks single, combine their incapacity and selfishness and are poor sticks still, it is not fair to call that an unhappy marriage. It is merely a combination of unworthi- nesses, allof which existed before. Nodoubt Professor Sumner set forth all these somewhat obvious con- siderations to his pupils, as will appear in ductime, when the revised version of his discourse is pub- lished. Superfluous. ARKE : Some women are never sa‘isfied. My wife almost insisted last night upon my taking her to some play. La But you didn't ? sir!) Why, I've rything there is.” The Real Thing. OLINNY (who is jealous of Mamma): Mamma likes me better than she does you! ELYN (who enjoys teasing): Why, no, Johnny, of course she loves Betty and me best! Just think, she was our mother long before she was yours ! Jo ¥ (scornfully): Hoh, what of that! You are nothing ample copy, anyhow! And Betty’s only a trial sub- scription! But I'm the real thing! His Finish. R. PERCY ARMERHAM PELEWIGS stirred uneasily in his seat ‘The trouble with me, Miss Arimita,” he said, with a slight Diush, ‘is that I bave never hud enough confidence in myself, My nature, naturally timid and sbrinkiog, has been hitherto, and is now, I fear, too delicate aud sensitive to stand the coarse contact with rude strangers. Somehow, I do not seem to have the assurance, which, like second nature to some, is with me an unknown quantity. IfI could only speak out, if I could only assert myself, ah! how I would rejoice. But lam too retiring, too modest, to cope with the rough world. I——" “Say no more,” exclaimed the six-foot maiden at his side, as she drew him swiftly to her bosom and implanted a telling kiss on his delicate forehead, ‘*Percy, dear, let me be a husband to you.” A SUBSTITUTE. “LAWKS A MASSY, CHILE! PAT'S DE MOS’ CURIOSIEST CORSET I EBER SEED!" “WELL, IT'S NOT PERZACKLY A CORSET, HONEY. MIT'S MOM OB A WAIST BASKET.” The JOURLD, The FLESH, and The WORNAL. AS 4 “N OW, what do you read, dear lady mino?” “Ob, everything with a scare headline— Of clopements, scandals, suicides; About unhappily wedded brides— And murder trials I read all through— Divorce proceedings — and in- quests, too, Abductions, lyncbings, ship- wrecks, flres, This is the reading my heart desires, Then, when I've read who's married—who's dead— It’s generally time to go to bed.” “And does nothing elso appeal to you ?”” “Why—in chureb, I read my prayer book, too!" Grace Crandall, T would be easicr to elevate the stage if it were not 80 near the box office. comicbooks.com