Life — March 1, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Tux full text of the parody of Kipling by Secretary Ieltz of the Transvaal Is as follows > PROGRESSIONAL. {Dedicated to Mr, Mudyard Piping.) Gods of the Jingo— Brass and Gold, Lords of the world by “Right Divine,” Under whose baneful sway they hold Dominion over * Mine and Thine."* Such Lords as these have made them rotten, ‘They have forgotten—they have forgotten, ‘The Nigger or the Chinee dies, ‘The Gladstones and the Pitts depart ; But ** Bigger Englanders” arise Toteach the world the Ralders’ art. Such Lords as the: n, ‘They have forgotten—they ha: ‘They*ve “got the Gold, the Ships, the Men," And are the Masters of To-morrow, And so mankind shall see agaln ‘The days of Sodom and Gomorrah, ‘These are the Lords that made them rotten, ‘They have forgotten—they have forgotten. Drunken with lust of Power and Pelf, ‘They hold nor man nor God In awe, But care for naught but only Self, And cent. per cent.’s thelr only Law. ‘These are thelr Lords, for they are rotten, ‘They have forgotten—they have forgotten, Thelr vallant hearts have put their trust In Maxim guns and Metford rines, To knock the Niggers Into dust, ch-like “ unconsldered trif_les "1! For boastful brag and foolish fake ‘Th’ Innpertalist shail “take the cake.” — Exchange. Veny old persons and very young persons are apt to be great sticklers for etiquette. Queen Victorla {san example of theone,and Lord Beauchamp, the present Iiritish Governor of New South Wales, of the otuer, [ince the latter has occupled the government house at Sydney he has been at great pains to make ofictal receptions as Imposing and dignified as possible With this end in view, he has ordained that only guests of certain rank should be permitted to approach the presence through designated doors. To these blue tickets are awardea ; others of inferior mould,white, Atarecent function, through: some mismanagement, an Important public man recelved # blue card, while a white one was sent to his wife, and when the palr reached the audience chamber, there was trouble, The lady declined to be separated from her husband, or to abandon the aristocratic blue ranks. An alde-de-camp en- deavored to reason with her, and explain the commotion that would ensue if blue and white were sutfered to mingle to- gether. But the fair one was equal to the occaston. sense,” sald whe, ax she pressed forward ; “ what do you take us for? A seldittz powder? ‘The ulde collapsed, And yet It 18 sometimes said that women have no sense of humor.—New York Keening Ist. Tue story of Leland Stanford, Jr.,for whom the great university 14 named, 1s familtar, When ten years old he saved w homely, broken-legged dog from a street crowd of heartless boys. Six years later, when the dead body of young Stanford was brought home from Florence, the little yellow dog was heart-broken. Me placed himself 1n front of the marble tomb und could not be coaxed away even for his food, One morning he was found dead, and was buried human friend.— Pets and Animals. “STILL,” said the old friend, who had called toon with the venenibie sage, “In your advancing age tt & great comfort to know your fame ta secure."* “ Yes," repited the aged sctentist ; “1 am told Bey new disease and a five-cent cigar named for me.” — Chicago “AND how did you and grandpa get along?” t doting mamma of the precoctous child. “He was pleasant as ple,” replied the cherub, “As pleasant as plet”* “Yes, mamma, Short and crusty.” — Cleveland Plata D “I svrrose, he sald as they undutated around t “that my mother would be awfully worried If she by was here. She thinks {t ts 4 terrible sin to dance.” “Oh, never mind,” the girl sald. “She wouléey you were dancing, even if ahe saw you.” —Chicago Times: “ SUAKESPEARE!" sald the enthusiast. great bard “That's right,” sald the theatre manager, Teen, doubt about bis being great. And there 14 also p» about his betng barred so long as 1am running & then pecuntary parposes.""— Washington Star. Mamuua: If you eat any more of that Tommy, you will see the bogle man to-night. Tommy (after a moment's thought): Well, gin some more. I might as well settle my mind abor trath of the story once for all.—Tit-Bits, For sale by all Newsdealers In Great Uritain, ‘The Inter- mpany, Bream's Bullding, Chancery Lane, national N England, AgENTs. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md, ECROPRAN AG#NTS—Menars. Brest VOpera, Yaris, For Sale Works, Camden, ¥.J. 150 Varieties. by all Stationers, THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. 28 Js0 vie Every Esterbrook Pen Is Warranted. DON’T LEAVE YOUR KEYS {0 the front door. Fasten them tothe pocket or waistband with atey chetn Excured by the Improved Wash: mt Fastener. Stra Toric te releaued totastiye : ortantly. Catalogue of other American Ring Co., Box58. ‘Waterbury, Conn. nothing about Ramblers to, feel ashamed of. They are correct, PRICE $20 Booklet free, American Bicycle Co. GORMULLY & JEFFERY SALES DEPT. Chicago 52 Gold and Silver Medals Awarded for Excellence, JOHN DEWAR & SONS, Ltd., Distillers. Dewar’s Scotch Whisky ‘These Ings are handsome specimens of the famous Engitsh Doniton jake a Very attractive addition to the sideboard, Ware, and ontain Dewar'’s Special Old Scotch Whisky, emarkable for Aroma, Purity, and the Mellowness which age lor finest malt Goods packed tn unmarked cases, n give, distilled from th yor Catalogue No, 10, Bobbie Bares Jug, $2.00, Cash or P, 0. Express Prepaid, FRED'K GLASSUP, Sole United States Agent. . JOEN DEWAR & EONS, Ltd. 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