Life — February 1, 1900 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

88 A Ballade of Economy, NOMIZE — that worst of words, ‘That tastes of bitterness, and rings Of wealth of crusts and dearth of birds, And many more unpleasant things, What though our dollars boast of wings And fly through spaco before our eyes — Lot us have all a penny brings — Deur, let us not economize, »nomize —that means to stop ho little things we love the best, Knock out the pipe and stein, and drop The book our hand hil fain caressed ; To have the thing wo need, and rest Without the thing we love and prizo. Nay, let us boggared be and blest — Deur, lot us not economize Economize — that means to savo y coin that buyeth happiness ; ‘To sit and yawn o* nights und crave ‘The pleasure gained, the penny less, That beggur's rich who may possess But one poor dime, yet, kingly-wise, ng it a frolic mond to bless — Dear, let us not economize, vor. Damo Fortune, frivolous coquette, You're wooed with boldness, not with sighs; Faint heart ne'er won your fairness yet — Dear, lot us not economize. Theodosia Pwkering Garrison, Talks With Fictitious Person- ages. m1. WITH MRS. VON WAGSTER WAGSTER. OU may never havo mot Mra. Von Wagster Wagstor, because it is not always possible for every- one to enjoy tho exclusive — fieti- tlous personage. But I, who hav can assure you . that she is. dolight- ful and charming in ovory way. Mrs, VonWagster Wagster has a home on Fifth Avenue (upper), a cottago at Newport, a country house to Virginia, a camp in the Adirondacks, and a steam yacht, What the Von Wagster Wagsters ‘LIFE wero at one time is a matter of no conse- quence. We are not now discussing pedi- gree, but New York society. Meeting my friend as I do in her own private drawing-room, I have learned to know her well—I may say thoroughly, I havo reflected considerably upon the case of Mrs, Von Wagster Wagster, because I know her 80 much better than those who merely seo ber name in the newspapers and who have the privilege accorded to the multitude, of reading descriptions of her gowns upon every occasion. But I havo never spoken to her upon tho subject until @ recent afternoon, My silence was not doe to fear, for it is much easier to be confidential with a woman than a man, and indeed, if one is not, they are apt to bo offended, after @ certain reasonable limit of acquaintanceship has been passed. But while [ have often accused Mrs, Von Wagster Wagster of Jittlo fashionable sins, knowing this would gratify ber, I havo never gone into the matter deeply. Perbaps I nover should, had not @ dispute arisen between us, on tho afternoon mentioned, as to my friend's mental capacity. “T have been attending a lecture on metaphysics,” she bad started to say, and I promptly dismissed the subject with tbe remark that I didn’t care to discuss meta- physics with ber. But why?” she exclaimed, “ Because,” I said, “you know nothing about metaphysics, and never will, The fact is, my dear madam, you haven't brains enough.” This, of course, would have been an unpardonable rudeness to anyone but a fictitious personage, but in the cireum- stances, my advantage, of course, will be apparent. “TL suppose,” said Mrs, Von Wagster Waggster, “that it is the thing to do, and I am doing it for that reason, but I do not seo why you should consider mo a fool.” “TL haven't said you were a fool," I re- monstrated. “I have said that you haven't brains enough to discuss a certain subject. Ono of your occupations is to know just enough about certain things to be able to discuss them with people who know as little as you. To know too much about one thing is with you not good form, because this means continuity, and variety 1s the only really fashionable staple.” “I can't understand what you mean, said my friend, rather dinily, “I haven't dono anything to arouso you, have I? Becauso—well,that would be distressing. T never have a scene, you know.” I smiled pleasuntly. “Not atall,” I said, gently, “I am merely showing, that, after all, you are not a person to be envied, with all your opportunities, and I want you to help me out—Iif you can,” “You mean if I have brains enough,” said Mrs. Von Wagster Wagster. * Precisely.” “And you doubt it.” “It you had,” I said, “you would get moro outof your “Don’t you think Ido?” “TI think you rro gotting all you know hor “But I can't change my life,” said Mrs, Von Wagster Wagster. “It is not my fault that I havo money, that I maintain a certain position, that Iam talked about, that I was divor—besides, what does that matter? It hasn't hurt mo ono bit socially.” “Good!” I exclaimed. ‘You have evi- dently thought about this matter, or you wouldn't bo 80 quick to defend yourself.” Mra. Von Wagster Wagster blushed. Sho had been betrayed into sentiment. ‘There was a long pause, in which sho was evidently thinking deeply. Tell mo,” sho said at last, what your candid opinion of mo is?” “Candidly,” I replied, “I don't think you are of much consequence. You aro im- portant only because people think you 80. Of course you are rather a pleasant thing to look at—from the proper distanco—becauso you are always well gowned, and conycn- tional outwardly. Thero are a few indivi- dual traits peculiar to yourself which you havo continued to keep, and there is somo degree of interest in these. But your wealth hasn't done anything for you except totake away what might have been the best part of you, What you might have done I will not say, but what you have dono is so insignificant that it seems a pity you should bo a model for any other woman to follow.” “And yet Tam happy.” ** How do you account for it?” Tasked. “I think,” said Mrs, Von Wagster Wag- ster, “itis becauso I am not a real per- son, comicbooks.com