Life — December 14, 1899 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TIME AND ATTRACTICN. At eight P. M. the gasdight's Reveals young Cholly Srart, He's calling on bls lady fair — ‘They sit’ this far At ten o'clock the 1's popy ‘Their souls are filled with bliss, It we could peep, we'd see that they Aresittingcloselikethls, sulled {nto the telegraph office and rapped on the ‘The clerk remembered that she had been there n iluutes before as he came forward to meet her. He wondered what she wanted this tn “Oh, ? she sald, “let me have that telegram L wrote Just 1 for si y important. 1 wanted to underscore the words ‘perfectly lovely? in ac the receipt of that bru Will tt cost anythin ma'am," sald the clerk, as he handed ber the apart. now, sestl — Raltimore American. Ep Terrs, of Los Angeles, was playing golf with a frend recently. When he drove from the third teeing ground, he sliced the ball badly and sent I away to one side, It stopped in front of a grazing cow, and Tofts came up Just tn time to see It disappear into the bovine mouth. When hts opponent had made his stroke, Tufts untethered the cow and, with many sounding thwacks of his cl the beast to the third hole. ‘There he made her dl ball, and, neatly holing It, announced that he had made the hole in two strokes. Ills opponent calimly fished the hole in seven and claimed the he pat 1 mude tt In two," No, you didn't,” d thirty-nine. You hit that cow thirty-xeven time every stroke," and Tufts conceded 1 The young tady drew two heavy Ines beneath the words, and sald: It's awfully good of you to let me do that. please Charley so muc “Don't mention It,” sald the clerk, “If you would like it, I will drop a few drops of violet extract on the telegram at the same rates.”* “Oh, thank you, sir, You don’t know how much I wonld appreciate ft. I'm going to send all my telegrams through this office, yeu are s0 obliging”? And the smile she gave him would have done anyone good, with the possible exception of Charie — Cliter’s Weekly. It will nl Tufts, gleefally, other ; “you made it in for | counted A story Illnstrating the reticence of the Scots regarding Argonaut. thelr privations ts credited to lan Maclaren, A Goop story ts told of Oom Paul Kruger. A train was ata station, when a porter put his head into about the division of some property, two brothers agreed that a carrlage and called out : his Judgment should be accepted, Kroger listened patiently “Anyone here for Doun? Change for Dount to both, aud then, turning to the elder, sald : for Donn? “L decide that you, betng the senior, shall have the No one moved, and In a few minutes the train was sperd- dividing of this property ; but,” he added, with «twinkle In. Ing along, not to stop again for nearly an hour. ‘Then an old his eye, “1 also dectde that your brother shall have his Scotswoman turned to a lady sitting near her and sal of the two portions Erchange. «I'm for Doun, but I'd no tell that man so.""— 7+ arson’s. In a question Anyone G. P. 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