Life, 1899-12-14 · page 14 of 20
Life — December 14, 1899 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Life's format: **Top cartoon ("A Golf Orphan"):** Shows a small child abandoned on a golf course—a visual pun suggesting golf's popularity has made children neglected "orphans" while parents pursue the sport. **"Double Acting Evidence":** Debates credit for the Spanish-American War naval victory at Santiago between Admiral Schley and Admiral Sampson. The sketch explains why the Brooklyn received more damage: Spanish gunners aimed high, making the rear (normally safest) the hottest position. The satire mocks Schley's admirers for crediting him while dismissing Sampson's role, and jokes that Maryland soldiers boast about their ship's punishment as if it were an achievement. **"An Important Difference":** A brief joke distinguishing genius from madness—the latter gets three meals daily (implying institutionalization). **"Sonnet":** A humorous poem about classical dreams ending when the narrator falls asleep on a yellow jacket's nest, combining epic pretension with slapstick reality. **Bottom cartoon:** A rhinoceros and companion, likely another standalone joke about usefulness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
m ty chs ES, rv A GOLF ORPHAN. Double Acting Evidence. An Important Difference. ‘THE admirers of Admiral Schley seem to feel that any credit Sonne : Lombardo says there is no difference given to Admiral Sampson isa slur upon their own idol. This between genius and madness. isa mistake. Another mistake is in constantly referring to the Wacore: Pardon me; madness gets three square meals a fact that their hero's ship, the Brooklyn, received more shots at day. thebattleof Santiagothan any otherin the American ficet. The cause of this damage to the Brooklyn has already been ex- plained, and more than once. However, for the benefit of those students of history who may have failed to grasp the facts of this dramatic occurrence, we print a sketch in explanation. Spanish. U.S. OLLY: Could anyone be worse than a man who will be spooney in spite of all you can do? Potty: Yes, one who won't! Most of the Americans escaped damage because the Spaniards aimed too high, And so, what is usually the safest place—the reat—became on this eventful day the hottest situation, Thus Commodore Schley, who is credited by the captains present with observing all necessary caution, received the heaviest punishment, And the Marylanders arc boasting of it! Sonnet. LAY beneath the Heav'n’s broad sheet of blue, And watched the clouds,and sleep came over me. I dreamt of ancient Greece, of Arcady, Of Pan and shepherds, fauns, and satyrs too, And then I fancied I was of the crew ‘That sailed with Jason in the argosy ; aw the Nereids dancing on our lea— many such adventures I passed through, At last, like Heraclos, I camo to where ‘The pixmy folk do dwell, ‘The little men To fight swarmed out in millions, and the air Was thick with darts; one pierced mo, two, and then, A thousand all at once—0 fate unblest ! T'd slept upon a yellow jacket’s nest ! : : “1 SAY, RHINO, THAT'S A HANDY ARRANGEMENT YOU'VE GOT THERE. GLAD 1 Erskine Wood, BROUGHT YOU ALONG.”