Life — December 2, 1899 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

large and well-Glled Christmas treo in your back parlor, completely uipped with gifts, ornaments, candles, and an angel a-top. Next, it ‘Will provide a complete and sumptuous Christmas dinner, well-cooked, well-served, and tastefully decorated. Guaranteed to make the table nin the traditional manner. After this, it will provide games and lances, or any form of entertainment desired, It will hang a bunch of mistletoe on the chandelier, and serve a delightfal Christmas supper. This description does but sitght justice to our wonderful invention, which must be tried to be appreciated. ‘There are various attachmenta, guch as snapdragon. boars’ heads. and wassail-bowls, which will be furnished ata slightextracharee. Our ‘09 model is, of course, the finest and has all improvements up to date, including an’automoblie ride and a Yule gas log; but our "08 and ‘97 models may be had at reduced rates, and wil prove attractive to many who are looking for Christmas argains. Send for our Descriptive Pamphlet. The price may scem a large outlay of money, but remember that you save yourself all worry and planning in the maiter ; all hurried and unsatisfactory shopping at, the crowded counters; all disappointment and mortification at ill-cooked puddings or tough turkeys; and, best of all, there 1a po danger of that Ured feeling the day after. Sosend at once for samples and full particulars to The Auto-Christmas Co., No, 25 Yule Street. Not in the Closet. UGGLES: It's said that every family has a skeleton in its closet. Srrvacres: They're lucky. “Why?” “Because in mine he’s at large, and borrowing money from all his relatives.” V ITH the precise numerical equivalent of the expression «Just one kiss,” algebra has not yet been found quite able to grapple. It is believed, however, to belong to Permu- tations and Combinations coupled with Geometrical Progression. Boss: SER WERE, YOUNG MAN, 1P YOU DON'T STOP SMOKING THOSE: CIGAKETTES AROUND HERE, ISHALL DISCHARGE YOU AT ONCE! Office Boy: YOU MAY FIRE WHEN READY, SIR! ORGANS WHICH HAVE BEEN FOR NEARLY FIFTY YEARS THE STANDARD OF THE WORLD PIANOS WHICH ARE EQUALLY GOOD, SEND FOR CATALOGUE. Masons Hamlin NEW YORK. BOSTON. CHICAGO. CW sorts of Mores all (hake foo file tore tt ce RST I All rights erured.