Life, 1899-10-19 · page 6 of 20
Life — October 19, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 306 This page contains three distinct pieces: 1. **"Lacking"** — A poem about a woman rejecting a suitor, accompanying an illustration of figures in what appears to be Arctic conditions. 2. **"The Haunted Typewriter"** — A fable about a poet who purchases a secondhand typewriter that mysteriously produces poetry and becomes famous. The satire targets publishing industry absurdities and the commercialization of literature. 3. **"Dogs and Scientists"** — A brief commentary suggesting that when scientists publicly dissect dogs for research, it generates public outcry, whereas private vivisection goes unnoticed. This appears to critique selective moral outrage and the hidden nature of laboratory animal testing. 4. **"No Room for Doubt"** — A dialogue joke where a theater hero's opening line inadvertently insults his wife's fidelity. The page demonstrates Life's satirical approach to literature, science ethics, and social conventions of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
306 Lacking. ¢¢ TQAINT heart ne'er won fair lady F She sang. Her words were gall, I fear my case is hopeless, I have no beart at all, CAMPORSIA ts butting up two great and rich untversities within forty miles of one another. Stanford, with an endowment of fifteen nillitona, ts within thirty-five miles of Sau Fra: cisco; the University of Cullfornta, for wht remarkable plans of enlargement and adorut have Just been provided at the cost of Mrs. Hearst, has its seat at Berkeley, only nine mite from San Francisco. oth of these universities Promise to be Institutions of the first rank tn 80 far as money and architecture can make them so. Their f of it! Wait till they really settle down tothe great work of education, and then just Imagine What foothall matches they will have, and how tt will stratn the resources of San Francisco to pro- with due experience of things we will want to know evialt earth In the eons to those two big untversittes have found to teach, aud what manner of men they have turned out, The Haunted Typewriter. (a FABLE.) POET who had Purchased a Second Hand ‘Typewriter was Awakened one night by Hearing it Clicking in the Study. Knowing that no Sane Burglar would stop to Typewrite in the Middle of the Night, the Poet arose ‘and was Astonished to See the Machine Working away Industriously, although no Visible Fingers Touched the Keys. It was Turning Out Unintelligible, Ungrammatical Stuff, written in a sort of Rag Time that Resembled Poetry in its Form, Each Night the Machine Produced Another of the Things. The Poet Puzzled over the Stuff for days, und then the Thought Occurred to Him that a Dialect Editor might Under- stand it, so he Named One of the Things “Sunrise” and another ‘ Aftermath,” and sent them to one of the Big Maga- zines. They Printed it on the First Page AT THE POLE, “MY DEAR, WON'T TOU FIX THE CLOCK? 1 FIND IT GAINED TORER WEEKS LAST NIGHT." with a Picture on the Cover, and They Sent Him a Large Check and an Order for More of the Same Kind. They said it was Hot Stuff, The Poet Kept His Secret and Puta Pad- lock and Chain on the Typewriter. Ina Few Months He Found Him. self Rich and Famous, and be now lives on Fifth Avenue and has Four French Bull Pups. MORAL. You Can often get a Good Thing Second Hand, but Buying on the Install- ment Plan is a Hideous Mistake, Kate Masterson. Dogs and Scientists. F two dogs should at- tack a law-abiding citi- zen and tear him to pieces we should have our opinion of those dogs. But when two “scientists” cut up a live dog there is less public indignation. Thereare two reasons for this. One is because the “scientists” do their work in secret, and we do not hear of it, Another reason is the difference in point of view. If we could hear from the dog we should get a fresh opinion, and a good one, vTnts ouce- No Room for Doubt. ActeOR: Itell you, my play has the real French flavor, ch? Wroas : Do you really think so? “Think? I don’t think, Iknow. The hero closes the first act with these words : , you have done me the greatest wrong one man can do another; you have robbcd me of your wife’s affections.’” comicbooks.com