Life — October 19, 1899 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BALE. Sender tale I now rel In figuresive speech. As {8 6 ine No power to coruscs In metaphor and trope orn, TH uxe my towller gifts and st8 My facts in humble figure 8. Young, beautiful, and Ixsome K8 Was loved and wooed by Wililatn W8, Daily as they together 88, And nightly at the garden g&; Yet when he'd ask her if she'd m8, She ever answered, * William, w8!” He showed her all his love so grs, He argued every night ti Is, And would at length expats Upon his cheertess, lonesome st8, He pled with her to Ox the ds, But she would not partictps In his tong, ainorons debs, Hut would her forehead corrugs, Aud coyly answer, * Willtat, wa 1 At least,"* he erted, “Oh, maid xeds, ‘Though itmy woe may aggravs, Tell, oh, L pray thee, tell me str8, Lov'st thou another? Ob, rels Mis hsful name, and seal my f8 1° ‘cl ORS AT NvLLy “ And may | kiss thee once, dear K8? Just one awevt king? Say yex, of, 88 The aby matd whispered softly, “8 They kissed; "twas spring in °58. By fall they'd scored 8,000,008. Bat now—alas that 1 most «8 !— When she pleads fora kiss, the grs Big brute does thus retalts, “WS, KS; w8, Mra. KS WA, wi! —Frank Crane in The Century. Ove day a Sanctimonious Man tucked a Bible under his Arm and set forth upon a Mestonary Journey. + Quo Vadis?” asked a Friend, which betng Interpreted ts Wot ‘ell, BUI “Lum gotng to Spread the Gospel," sald the Sanctl- montous One. Uh-huht And Whyfore that Gatling Gan you have in your Hip Pocket and that Keg of Booze concealed in your Bosom?" Ah, my friend, sald the Sanctimontous One, “1 have Grave Fears that the Heathen will Refuse the Message of Peace, therefore if 1 cannot Shoot tt Into Him with the Gat- Hing Gun mayhap 1 can put him into a Receptive Mood by @ Judictous use of the Booze.” Moral—The Wise Man of To-day usually provides Three “Come and assist me," sald he, “and I will do you s Great Service."* ‘The Small Man complied with the request, but when the Task was completed the Large Mun turned and did the Smai Man also. “Why have you done me, too*™ queried the Small May tn Dismay. “ My Dear Sir," replied the Large Man In a lofty Tone of Lama Pubhe Benefactor. Bebold, | havesdone yoo @ Great Service. | have undertaken the Task of also mag. ‘aging your affairs.” “But 1 want to manage them Myself," protested the Small Man, “ Assimilated,” exclalmed the Large Man, whereupon be smote the Small Man for the Love of God and took everyting he had, Including hia Liberty. Morai—The Large Man 4 always the Benevolent Assim. lator. A Cunning Schemer once lald In a Large Flag and thea proceeded to Give Morality and Integrity the Root Noot. «But why did you purchase the Flag?” asked the Seeker after Information Oh, Merely to hold up tn Front of My Schemes,” said the Cunning Schemer. “Who will Dare to Haul Down tte Ping?” Moral—There ain't any.—Omaha World-Herald. Ov course," satd Senator Sorghum, “ Dewey 1s. remart- Strings for His Bow, She bushing murtured, * Willam W8 1" set? he did ejacutas; Tis 1 Tis Pin Witla W8t He clasps the matde ; ‘Thetr hearts tn rapt greater than be Anticipated, assistance, sale by all Newsdi national News Company, iiream's Buliding, Chancery Lane, London, &. €., Enginad, AGENTS. Once upon a time a Large Man undertook the Task of Doing & Great Service to sutfenng Humanity. The Task being able man. But—" * You are not going to quallfy your pratse! “Well, | admire tits courage and all that; but I mast sy that when @ man with his opportunties stands up and refuses to run for office It xets a mighty bad precedent.” = Washington Star. e called on @ Small Man for ECKOPEAN AGENTS—Measrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Overa, Paris. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! ‘THE WILSON DISTILLING CO. Baltimore Md. An Autumn Outing. Gettysburg, Luray, Natural Bridge, Hot Springs, Richmond, and Washington An eleven-day personally.conducted tour of the Pennsylvania Ratiroad Company to the Ratuefleld of Gettysburg, Luray Caverns, Natural Bridge, Virginta Hot Springs, and the cites of Richmond and Washington will eave New York and Philadelphia in a special train of parlor cars on Thursday, October 19. The party will be in charge of a tourist agent and an expertenced chaperon. A whole day will be spent on the Battlefield of Gettysburg, a carriage drive with lectures by an able guide being included tn the ticket. Ample time will be allowed at Laray ‘and Natural Bridge to view the wondrous natunu formations, and at the Hot Springs two days Wilt be spent. ‘The season at this great Autumn resort in the beautiful mountains of Virginia wilt be at Its height. At Richmond and Washington opportunities will be presented to visit all the potnts of taterest under Intelligent guidance. ‘Tue round-trip rate, including all necessary expenses, 18 $65 from New York, $63 from Phi. adeiphia, and proportionate rates from other points, For detailed itinerary apply to Ticket Agents ; to Tourist Agent, 1196 Broadway, New York ; 4 Court Street, Brooklyn ; 789 Broad Street, Newark, N. J.; or address Geo. W, Boyd, Assistant, General Passenger Agent, Broad Street Station, Phitadeiphia. Whiskies and Whiskies But there is only one Baltimore Rye 1s the best because it ts the Purest Tyee or tHe Purest WHISKEY Physicians recognize Its superiority and recommend It for Its superior quallty. Sold at all First-Class Cafes and by Jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & 808, Baltimore, M2 OLD OVERHOLT High Standard Pure Rye Whiskey. A. OVERHOLT & CO., Pittsburg, Pa. comicbooks.com