Life — October 12, 1899 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mus. Gorregcent: Poor Mra Cpjobn looks miserable, Well, she alu't; she's happy. She shoulder, the trolley-car heart, the bicycle face, and abe thinks she's getting the hay fever. Chicago Tribune, FAIR LADY, If you have any doutt as to the value of telephone service tn your own house ask the New York Telephone Company. by mail or telephone, for « copy of * A Modern Convert.” reading It you will be another. Perhaps you were that telephone service for a year may now be had In New York for the price of # modest tatlor made gown. Rosext HiLtsaKn, the actor, brought a young English- woman to see “* El Capitan.” De Wolf Hopper, and remarked, “What a charming man your Mr. Hopper is, Tell me, Is he married ?** + een divorced three times,” was the reply. “Three Umes!" she repeated, “And they are all three dead?” * was the answer; “divorced.” An!" ahe rejotned, + 1 see; he Is « Grass-Hopper.” Exchange. DELICIOUS FLAVOR. Coffee, Tea, Chocolate, and many summer beverages are given a rich aud delicate favor by the use of Gall Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Milk. Lay n @ supply for camping, fishing, and other excursions. EXCITEMENT 18 often the cause of strange telegrams, as | Well as other queer manifestations, A man who had been eof the passengers on a siipwrecked vessel was rescued ost by a miracle, On arriving at @ place from which he could send a telegrap asage, he forwarded the following despatch to his broth “Lam saved. Try to break It gently to my wite —Tit-Bits, HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. Accessible location, excellent table, prompt service. Tux skipper of fm salling-vessel had as passenger an estimable but not very courageous minister and two careless young men given to little but mischlef. A severe storm came up, and although the young men were frightened enough, thelr terror was nothing to that of the poor minister, who was Indeed a pitlable object. ee here, wir," sald the skipper at last, with kindly severity, “do you want me to think you're more afrald of golng to heaven than those young men are of going to hell?” Exchange. Tue following tx extracted from an exsay written by a schoolboy, aged ten, on a play he had been to see: “TI villun curled his mustarsh, and seezing the pure vurgi shreeks ha ha be min dagger stabs thee to thy utermost sole ha the good hero comes and xays O hevins heving stur won step and thy ded body Hes at my door. Lay won parm on the vurging korpse and tt was better If you was drowned with a millstone, Avarnt avarnt from the sweet korpses presunz.”” —Tit-Blis, For pollte service, all the conventence of home, and fine location, you will do well to stop at the “Thorndike while In Boston, Two burglars, after working on a safe all night, acknowl. pletely bamMed by the new combination ing up thelr tools tn disgust. Say, Bul, I'll tell yer bow we kin make something out 0 this Jou.” + Wrat yer meant" “Let's hunt up icturer of this safe and seid him our testimoutals."—Ohto State Journal. Warren: A dozen on half shell, some celery, and a pint of Cook's Imperial Champagne Extra Dry. I wish to dine with the gods. Tuis story ts told of Mr. John Hare and his coachman, been sent to a certain theatre to secure stalls, the jan, Who knew more about stables than theatres, re- turned with what appeared to be a difficult verbal message. “Well, did you get the stalls?" inqulred the actor. * sald the coachman, “the stalls were all taken up; but they told me they would be pleased to—to—" he scratched his head and then blurted out—"to pat you in a loose box, sir."—Househola Words. BEECUAM’s PILLS for distress after eating. ) y ) \ 16 West 234 8t, 3 166 Broadway. ) 604 Fulton 8t. 2 169 Tremont Bt. 24 Chestnut 8, The Best Story [i They Ever Heard : “LIFE”! in I9O0O A novel feature will be “One of the Best Stories I Ever Heard” BY Gen. Miles Admiral Schley Richard Croker W. D. Howells Joaquin Miller Nikola Tesla Gen. Joe Wheeler Russell Sage Francis Wilson Dr. Parkhurst And others C. D. GIBSON and T. K. HANNA will continue to draw exclusively for LIFE. EXTRAORDINARY OFFER FOR 1900 The subscription price of LIFE is $5.00 per year, but to any reader of this maga- zine not already a subscriber, enclosing us $5.00, LIFE will be sent for the remainder of this year up to 1901, and, in addition, a handsome proof, printed on India-paper and mounted for framing (size 15 x 20), of any of the pictures we publish regularly at $2.00. This offer is strictly xe. Selection can be made from our catalogue containing 149 examples. This catalogue will be sent to any address on receipt of 10 cents. Life Publishing Co. 19 West 31st Street NEW YORK CITY Comicbooks.com CHEW *, BREMAN’S THE ORIGINAL PEPSIN GUM Cures Indigestion and Sea-Stekien. All Others are Initat'ecs,