Life — October 5, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LTP E * What Tommy Caugh., ITTLE Tommy Tompkins Was 8o very slow He couldn't seem to catch a thing, Wherever he might go. He couldn't catch a tortoise, He couldn't catch a ride Upon the very slowest cart, No matter how he tried, He couldn't catch the measles, If that had been his wish; And though he bad the finest bait He couldn't catch a fish. But papa saw him teasing His baby brother Ben, ‘And you can Just make up your mind ‘That he caught something then! Paul West. Correspondence of a Patriot. Iv. Mata, P. I., September, 1899. ¥ DEAR BARKER: After my last letter I made up my mind quickly. Acting under the advice of a friend my health broke down, and I will start home early In October, via Honolulu, where I will put off to recu- perate, The mental worry I underwent completely prostrated mo, and but for Si Lunghaus, an Ohio man in the department, I think I would have been ina bad way. SI is a good party man, a friend of M, H.,and as fly ax they make them, I laid the case out fair and square to him, for, like most of the men who Jumped into the breach for the flag, he went into the quartermaster’s department and has no uso for the West Point clique. “ I know how it is exactly,” sald 81, “ We've got to hang together. They'll be smelling around my graft next, We'll get the China- man you do business with and make him get the man who got away with the stuff, or somo other man. Avy man will do; and they are cheap. Hy will make a confession for a con- sideration and then disappear—somo place, any place, Who's your mun?” “ Ling Han Yow,” I told him. “ Ling Han Yow?” laughed Si. * Why, that’s my own man. He's the slickest Chink in Manila, He'll Nx everything up in good xbape white you are lying here at death's door, You're an awful eick man, Diddlem, and you can't got well until this thing is all over, Then you can be sent bome invalided, my boy, and if a sick and suffering patriot isn't good for a pension and a nice thing in Wash- ington, why, I'll go out of business.” The courage and fidelity of this sterling patriot touched me deeply, and when he was gone I took to my bed, developed a serious case of Manila malarja and sent for tho sur- Keon, who wasn’t certain whether he could pull me through or not, Lunghaus and Ling Han Yow soon got on the trail of the Chinese scoundrel who had plundered our country and imperiled the good. name of dear old Pinetop. The West Point gang hated to lose a victim and a volunteer, but the confession of the criminal and tho fact that no guards wero stationed over tho property baffled the cunspirators, All this time I was tossing wildly on my fevered bam- mock, thinking of the dear ones at home. It cost mo nearly two thousand dollars to lift the shadow of dishonor from my name; buta full and perfect vindication cannot be obtained. now, a8 the guilty party bas escaped, con- nived at, possibly, by the regular army plotters. T applied to bo sent home, as my health was ruined; my application was endorsed by tho surgeon and promptly approved by the General commanding. This is a sad ending for the fine military career I had marked out for myself—only another victim of war, disease and conspiring militarism; but patriotism demands its sacrifices, I don't propose to forget Lunghaus. Ho is a man of finecharacter,and the Administration ought to know his fitness for a placo in our new colonies, a place of worth and power. SI will keep the government pretty well posted comicbooks.com