Life — September 21, 1899 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“CRE Brooar: Will you please give me sixpence, str? I'm on my way home to die, GENTLEMAN (handing Rim the money): I don't ming giving you sixpence for so worthy ® purpose as this, but your breath smelis horribly of whiskey. “L know tt does, sir; whiskey’s what's killing me,"* Loudon Topicat Times. Souicrron: My fee, madame, will be five dollar Ctiext: Por what? ‘or the opinion you had of me.” “ But L assure you I never had any oplaton of you." Ally Sloper. THE TEETHING PERIOD ts the trying time In baby’s life, Proper feeding, then, ts most essential. To sectze uniformity of diet, use Gall Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Milk. Book “ Bables" free. Borden's Condensed Milk Go., N.Y. Misrress: The master found fault with your cooking to- | day, Jane. Cook: Idon’t take any notice of ‘im, mam: it's bis blessed nature to find fault, Ain't he always fluding fault with yout—News-Letter. Tue He had been passed hetween the two rival sclentists, and a duel was inevitable. “Name your weapons,” satd the challenger, his pale face denoting that he fully realized the gravity of the situation. “We will fight,” returned the other, “with cholera microbes in a darkened room.” | Washington Star. | HOTEL VENOOME, BOSTON, ‘All the attractions ‘of hotel life, with the comforts and privacy of home. “Do Nor put your feet on the cushions,” 1s an Injunction ‘on the railway carriages In the North. “Or you will dirty your boots," was found added to one the other day by a witty traveler.—£rchan,e, “Ov all the delegates that I met at that Christian F: deavor Convention,” sald Dr. Hill, “1 liked him Lest who, on being asked what his business was, sald, ‘1am a cheer-up- dist.’ "Success, A PLAIN statement of facts: Cook's Imperial Cham- Pagne Extra Dry ts Supertor. Its bouquet excels, tts taste | delights. Try It. “Papa, what {s untold wealth?” “That's what a good many people have when the tax faasessor 1s present."—Chicago Tunes: Herald. Jony CLERK, afterward known as Lord Eldin, was limp- ing down High Street, Fdinburgh, one day, when be heard & young lady remark to ber companion, “That ts the famous John Clerk, the lame lawyer.” | He tarned round and sald, with his “not unwonted coarseness,” * You lie, ma‘am! [ama lame man. bat pot a lame lawyer.’ Exchange. THE HOTEL “THORNDIKE,” BOSTON, opp, the Public Gardens. Is famous for its choice viands and fine cooking, and | most excellent service. European plan, “THERE'S no use talking,” sald the man who sat on the | plazza looking over bis hotel bill, * Rip Van Winkle fatled to apprectate his luck." “ Luckt"* “Yes, Fancy a man’s belng allowed to stay twenty years In the mountains without Its custing him a ceut!"* Washington Star, “ QciGaRE 1s @ queer sort of achap. Ie told me yester- day that when he feels particularly blue and melancholy, be always sits dowts and reads a book of poems.” “And when he gets hungry I suppose he sits down and Teads a cook book."’—Aa/t:more Jewish Comment, “Do you make mach out of your apples?” asked the visitor. “Oh, pretty cousiderable,” answered the farmer; “ but I've got @ son up in the town who makes more out of the Apples In a month than | make the whole season." “A farmer, ts het? he’s @ doctor. I'm talking about green apples Yonkers Suitesman, “Don'r tell me you won't,” sald an East Side citizen to his five-year-old daughter. Well, papa, what must I say when I mean I won't?” —Onio State Journal. “Writ, hoy, did you tell your mistress I was heret”? “Yes, sir” “Well, what did she say?” “She sald I was to say she had been out for a quarter of an hour."—Exchange. BEECHAM'S PILL the Blood, Secor cents—25 cents, Rae’s Lucca Olive Combines | Perfection of Quality with Absolute Purity S, RAE & CO., Leghora, Italy. Established 1836. ~ COLLAR BUTTON INSURANCE GIVEN wit ZvERY S K REMENTZ One-Piece Collar Buttor Made of One Piece of Metal Without Seam or Joint......... You get a new one without charge in case of accident of any Kind. Best for ladles’ shirt waists and chtldren’s dresses, The Story of a Colter Button gives all par- ticulara, Postal us for it, All Jewelers sell Krementz buttons, . KREMENTZ & CO., 60 Chestnut St., Newark, i.J, Limber the Links ‘Keepthe chain on your wheel In perfect condition with DIXON'S ENGIN CHAIN GRAPHITES In five styles, stick and paste forms. The best lubri- cant for chains and sprockets. Sold by all dealers. JOSEPH DIXON CRUCIBLE CO., Jersey City, N. J. LITERATCRE. I offer in my Electric Belt a per fect and scientifle homo self- treatment for weaknesses. You wear it at night, It gives p strength while you sleep. corrmuntan. Over six thousand cured dur- ing 1898, My little book, “Three Classes of Men,” explains all, and 1s sent in plain sealed envelope free. I answer all lotters personally, or the belt may be seen and current tested at any of my offices. Dr, L. F, SanpEN, 826 Broadway, Now York, N.Y. Chicago: 183 So, Clark Street. Boston: 133 Tremont Btreet, Philadelphia: 924 Chestnut Street. Alcohol, Opium, ‘The disease ylelds easily WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. Exla‘rresimens ss samine BUPPALO, = N.Y, istered at these KEELEY LEXINGTON, MASS, BR. I. efi Gis PROVIDENCE, for particulars, WEST HAVEN, CONN. ee ren | Comicbooks.com Drug Using. \