Life — August 17, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT LIFE’S FARM. TUE TRAINED NUKS® ATTENDS TO A SCALP WOUND, Our Fresh-Air Fund. Previonsly acknowledged. $3,274 56 IFE is credibly informed that Presi- dent MeKinley has asked Mr. Griggs to ask Vice-President Hobart to ask Mr, Sceretary Root to ask General y true that the censorship in the Philippines is a piece of foolish ness ona par with many other exhibitions of incompetency in the management of the Unhappy Isles, A Mystery. ¢€ 7 T'S shameful!” Witherby folded up the morning per, drank another glass of ico water, and got up from his half-finished breakfast. “Yes,” ho continued, looking at his wife as if he considered her personally respon- siblo for half the errors of mankind, ‘to all intents and purposes, at that affair last night I was the only man present who was. sober after ten o'clock, It seems strango that just because a fellow who is going to get married gives a little dinner to his friends to celebrate the event, they should all make asses of themselves, Fillton is an old friend of mine, and of course IT was glad to go and help give him a send-off; but it’s a shame, nevertheless. Iam glad. that I have had experience enough at such times to bo disercet.’ He filled his glass again and emptied the pitcher, while Mrs. Witherby looked at him with a halt serious and utterly hopeless expression, “John,” sho said, “ when you eame home last night, or this morning, I don't know which it was, you were all right, weren't you? You hadn't taken too mucb, had you?” Withorby gazed at his wife with that air of complete surprise, that flno interroga- tive aspect of mingled scorn and indigna- tion which overy married man can assume at a moment's notice, The ideal” he exclaimed, loftily. * But nover did have any confidence in ine, ray. Why, of course I was all right.” “Then I should like to know,” said Mrs, Witberby, quietly, as ber husband rang the bell for more water, “ why you burg your dress suit so carefully on the bathtub faucet.” Tom Masson, R. ALFRED VANDERBILT ie still young, and is doubtless modest, and the fact that he started off the other day in a private car to make the grand tour with several comrades and asquad of servants ought not, per- haps, to be matter for comment. But the newspapers have made news of it, and if we all atand about and gawk a little let us hope we are excusable. Our excuse must be that a young Vanderbilt of the fourth generation from Cornelius the Ferryman is a new thing in the earth, and that his experiments wih creation and society are made under con- ditions so nearly unprecedented as to be sure to be novel, and likely to be inter- esting. It is probable that Mr. Alfred will like the looks of the world. Luckily for him, he cannot take a private car to sca with him, and it is possible that, if his peregrinations are extensive enough, he may penetrate beyond the immediate sphere of the ministrations of his father’s hired men and come in personal contact with humanity, Humanity is very in- teresting, and worth quite a chase to meet, HERE is no stronger argu- ment aguinst the equality of the sexes than a woman's hand. It wasmade —to toil? No, to wear a ring. The Engle: MELLO! MERE'S THAT LION POOLING AROUND AGAIN. comicbooks.com