Life — August 17, 1899 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

£ ELLO, hello, hello!” “ Well, well, well! What is it?” “T want Lire.” “So do lots of other people. This is Lire.” * This is President McKinley.” “Ah, Mr. President, glad to hear you. Sad about Alger, wasn't it?” “Yes: but I had to do it for the good of the party.” “Too bad you didn't do ita year ago for the good of the country, But of course party comes first.” “Naturally. The party makes the nominations, and the country only pays the bills, And, speaking of nominations, I trust I shall have Lire’s support in the next campaign.” ** What office do you expect to run for, Major?” “The Presidency, of course. Mr. Hanna and I arranged that before he went abroad.” “Hm! No danger of Governor Roosevelt or George Dewey upsetting that arrangement?” “Not the slightest. Mr. Platt will take care of Teddy, and Admiral Dewey is too sensible to give up his full pay for life.” “Did it ever occur to you, Major, that there are some men who have backbones—Teddy, for instance—and that there are also men who put patriotic duty above dollars #” “T forgot, Lire, that it is your business to be funny, But let’s be serious, You haven't answered my question.” “To tell you the truth. Major, we don’tcare to commit ourselves just yet. We expect to support the Republican candidate, provided he is a person with backbone, and not simply the agent of Messrs. Hanna, Quay and Platt’s political trust.” “You will, of course, admit that it is s beneficent trust ?” “Certainly. Ltrk is quite ready to admit that your admipistration, rep- resenting the trust, is responsible for last year’s good crops in this country and the scarcity abroad, and that you personally were not only the advance agent of prosperity, but the cause of it. Your Thanksgiving proclamation, advising people to thank God for our recent blessings, showed a very remarkable modesty on your part.” “ Talso forgot that it was Lire’s business to be satirical.” “Not to you, Major. You haven't the faintest idea of Lirr’s admiration of the way you stood out against the demands of the politicians and con- tract hunters during the late war, nor how we admire your loyalty to Messrs. Alger, Eagan, Corbin, Shafter, and the convicted Carter. Your steadfast and honorable maintenance of your pledge to protect the Civil Service against the spoilsmen also fills our breast with enthusiasm. When we think of the masterly way you have used the Presidency it reduces those crude patriots, Washington and Lincoln, in our estimation to the level of mere primitive backwoodsmen.” ‘You flatter me.” . “Don’t you believe it, Major. And it is not often that the United States has a President who to statesmanship like yours adds such an attractive personality. You are one of the most dignified-looking Presidents that ever rode in a procession, and, when you shake hands with man, woman or child, your property smile and kindly glance convinces the shakee not only THE BOOMERANG. .