Life — August 10, 1899 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PaRistan Qaneur relates that the following conversa- tion took place in an emigration office. The father of the family presents himself and asks for tickets. How many are you?" asked tbe agent. ) “*Three—I, my wife and my child.” * Good; your age, your profession?” “Thirty years, carpenter ; my wife, twenty-four, needle woman.” +The boy?” asks the agent. + Seven months." + His profession?" ‘The father’s eyes formed Gothic arches on his forehead. “His profession, I say,” repeated the agent, angrily. + We have no time to lose ‘The father reflects, and at last repties, “ milkman.” Exchange. AN ENORMOUS INOUSTRY. Our enormous factilttes, tremendous output, rapld move- ment of goods always fresh in the hands of consumers, to Sures the Gall Horden Kagle Brand Condensed Milk the first place tn American homes. = ‘Yes, her hat was certainly lovely, though It had cost but elghteen dollars and thirteen cents; quite as lovely as that Smith woman's, which had cost neariy a hundred. “But the Smiths are able to own a more conspicuous pew in church than we ure,” faltered her bushand. “Well, they can't come iu any later than we can," she exclaimed, midiantly.—Detroit Journal. THE HOTEL “THORNDIKE,” BOSTON, oop, the Public Gardens, Mas ttberal mat every respect, and floe cooking. Derine the first years of his career as an actor, Colonel W. F. Cody had in one of his theatrt panies a West- erner named * Bi ‘0 BULL" There were Indians in the troupe, and a certain misstonary had jotned the aggregation to look after the morals of the Indians, Thinking that Bronco: BU would bear a little looking after also, the good man secured a seat by bis side ut the dinner table, aud remarked, his ts Mr. Bronco Bull, Is It uot “Where were you born?" Near Kit Bullard’s mili on Mig Pigeon.” + Religious parents, I suppose “Yaus,"? ++ What 18 your denomination? ** “My whatr’? « Your denomination ** “O—at—yaas. Smith and Wesson." —Argonant. ‘THe most wonderful thing about a baby ts the way he conceals his shame at bearing the queer. sort of stut his | mother talka to bim.—New York Press. Youn dinner, if Champagne Extra itactory. accompanted Dry, will be by Cook's Imperial digestible and satis: | Sue: Have you many poor relations? He: Nove that | know of, * Many rich ones?” * None that know me."— Exchange, Tux late Duc de Sagan used to relate this story: King Frederick William 111, was very «paring of words, as ts well nown, but one day he was told there was at Toplitz, where he was then drinking the waters, a Hungurian magnate still jess talkative than the King. An opportunity for a meeting as #000 Managed, and the following conversation took p'ace, | he King beginning: “Bathing t" “Drinking. *Sotdler?™ * Mutlionatre. “Good.” “Policeman?” “King. Compliments.""— aston Beacon, HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON All the attractions of Hotel life, with the comforts and rivacy of home. Oxe of the bravest, as well as ove of the wittlest things | at has heen done lately, was the reply of the Reverend octor Newman Smyth of New Haven, when the repre- ne of the worst of modern newspapers asked bright, terse Interview about hell,” for Its Sunday Doctor Smyth very kindly complied with the re- est; his article was as follows; * Hell, In my optnton, ts the Jace where the Sunday edition of your paper should be pub- veucs-Letter. OLD OVERHOLT Quality, Not Quantity. A. OVERHOLT & 60., Pittsburg, Pa. DON’T SEW ON BUTTONS, 5 Rachelor’s bations made wih im- ep ved Washburne Patent Fasteners pon ina fitfy. Iressa littic ler rey bold Ike grin death—bat don't injure the fabric. lustantly releared whe Aesired. Ry mail, 10 cente earh. Ilastrated catalosrue,sbowing collar buttons an otber useful nov: elties made with these fasteners, (ree on request. American Ring Co. a P.O. Box 88, Waterbury, Conn. COLLAR BUTTON INSURANCE GIVEN WITH EVERY J REMENTZ One-Piece Collar Buttor Made of One Piece of Metal ‘Without Seam or Joint... You get a new one without charge tn case of accident of any Kind. Best for ladies’ shirt waists and children's dresses. The Story of a Colter Button gives all par- ticulars Postal us for it. All Jewelers sell Krementz buttons, KREMENTZ & CO., 60 Chestnut St., Newark, N.J. Blue is the Dyspeptic Blue is the Bottle Rosy is the man after taking from the Blue bottle of JOHNSON’S DIGESTIVE TABLETS. Don’t Gather Dust Rough riding a-wheel is smoothed immensely by a clean chain—and aciean chain comes with using DIXON'S CYCLE CHAIN ‘GRAPHITES In five atyles—stick and paste—the only perfect labri- cants for chains and sprockets Sold by all dealers. JOSEPH DIXON CRUCIBLE CO., Jersey Clty, N. Jo Me PAYS TO PAY FOR QUALITY. It the price you pay for a bleyclo is too Uttle to taciude Danlop Tires tn the bar- in, your money's pot well spsnt; yoa've mado @ bad investment; you're courtivg trouble, and it will be a very poor bicycle indeed if you cannot get It with Daviop { Tires, for 100 mancfactcrera are supplying thetr wheels thas equipped. Our trademark is moulded on every Danlop Tiro (except thore made by oar licensees, Tha Western Wheel Works and the Pope Mfg. Co.), and it 1s @ guarantes of quality as well as agraphic description of the eato with which the tire can be repaired, for“ those are the oaly tools you'll peed. Get our Booklet from any Bicycle Dealer, or wwe rill mail tt ow request. The American Dunlop Tire Company Belleville, N. J. - +, Chicago, Ill. TRADEMARK. TAKEN FROM LIFE VERSES wew voRK DOUBLEDAY & McCLURE CO. moocce 1¢vit GREAT many of the poems pub- lished in LIFE are too good to be printed but once. Maay of the best have been preserved in a little dainty volume. Among the posts are J. Wuitcoms Ritey W.S. Moopy Tom Masson ME. W. P. Dana METCALFE Detancey PIERSON HARRY Romaine Among the illustrators are C, D, Gipson TOasPERN A. B, WENZEL Cuarces Howarp Jounsox RANDOLPH BUNNER = A. VAN ScitaicK In club binding, 7 Se. In flexible leather, $1.50 Address Life Publishing Company, 19 and 21 West 3ist Street, NEW YORK CITY. Alcohol, Sain Drug Using. ‘The disease yields sally WHITE PLAINS, N. Y. Gold Treatment es sisige BUFPALO, | gered at thee KEELEY LEXINGTON, MAGS, Mertens Wine PROVIDENCE, — R. I, " WEST HAVEN, CONN. N.Y. tor particulars,