Life — August 3, 1899 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Gil bl ed bys “ Your hair is getting thin, sir,” sald the local barber to acustomer, “Yes,” replied the gentleman addressed, “I've been treating It with antt-fat. I never liked stout hatr, * “But you really sbould put something on it,” persisted the tonsorial artist, in a most earnest manner. “Ido, every morning,” returned the customer. “May Lask what?" Inquited the barber. “My hat,” sald the patron. Thereafter was silence.—Prerport Journal. THAT LITTLE BOOK “ Baltes,” tssued by Borden's Condensed Milk Co., New York, should be tn the hands of all young mothers. The bints It contains are favaluabte to the tnexpertenced. Sent free upon application. MAX O'RELL relates that while he was teaching In an Engitsh school a lady wrote to the headmaste “Dear Sir: It ts our tntention to place our boy under your care, but before doing so we would Ilke to know what the soctal standard of your school ts. To which the headmaster repli Dear Madame: So long as your boy hehaves well and his fees are patd regularly, no inquiry will be made about bis antecedents."—Argouant, HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON, All the attractions of Hotel life, with the comforts and privacy of home. Tne first specimen of true manly chivalry—the very pat- tern of a «mall knight who holds the rights of his tad sacred—was encountered the other day ina Cazibridge kin- dergarten. ‘The teacher discovered that a very small boy, not | more than five years old, was chewing gun, and ste ordered him out and bade him disgorge tt. “Lean't, ald “ You can't?” she answered, In surprise; “ why, yes you can, and you must! | I can’t” he persisted, and kept the gam In his mouth. Now why can't you give me that gum, Johnny?" the teacher asked, * Because, sald Johns, stontly, “tt belongs to a litte girl In Somervitte. change. Cook's Imperial Champagne Extra Dry for the yacht, camping party, summer hotel, fishing party, mountatn, sea- shore, or the pl Isaac M. Grecory, for many years the editor of Judge, ‘once made a severe reply to a statement made by Mr. le Dac, who was our lust Commisstoner of Agriculiure. Le Duc had | quarreled with the press, and some one asked bim why be did not reply in kin “Nonsense,” he returned scalp at my belt.’ To this Mr. Gregory promptly low; you'll wear it where it gre troveray.—Bustun Beacon, | shall wear no Jackass's torted: “Oh, no, old fel- | This ended the con: | THE HOTEL " THORNDIKE,” BOSTON, opp, the Public Gardens. Has experienced service, perfect culsine, and modern appointments. European plan. A Goop story 1s told of a young taan who, besides belog of the spendthrift order, 18 a mimic, and can tmitate his father's votce to a nicety, Not long ago the young man wanted, without delay, some money to pay a bill, and he knew that bis father would treat 4 request for the same with cold con- tempt. Waiting Ull he knew that bis father wou'd Ue away, he went to the teleph and ming up the office, calling for the cashier, The cashler was forthcoming, and when he was | at the other end the ung man imitated his sire’s voice, “Tsay, Blank, tf that seapegrace of a son of mine comes around and asks for & hundred dollars don’t give tt to him. Ouly give bim Atty.” ‘The cashter promised that he would fulfill the commands, I long after, the sou called at the office and demanded one hundred dollars, He was refused by the consctentious cashier, and, apparently in anger, the young man contented himself with the fifty. When the old man reached the office there was a scene.—Neie York Telegrap! ‘Tue ettention of English-speaking visitors to the Milan Cathedrat Is readily attracted by the following notice, which appears over an alms: boy “Appele toCharitables. The Brothers, so-called, of Mercy ask slender arms for the Hospital. They harbor all kinds of diseases, and have bo respect to religion.” — Youth's Cumpanion, If you are open to con- viction, let us send you one box of fifty BETWEEN THE ACTS LITTLE CIGARS to smoke—when you want a short smoke and haven’t time for along one. They are real cigars, but small ones. They cost so little —only toc. for 10— that you can try them as well as not. They are for sale anywhere, or we will deliver 50 at your office, club or home for 5° cents. The American Tobacco Co., __ 444 Filth Avenue, New York City. eClub Me Gara LS MANHATTAN. MarTINt, WHISKEY. HOLLAND Gin, Tom Gin, Vermouth, Ano York. ACocktait Must Be Coto To Be Goon; To Serve In Perrect Conoition, Pour Over Crackeo Ice, (Not Sxaven) Stir Ano Strain Orr. {Nd DON’T LEAVE YOUR KEYS fn the front door. Fasten them tatte pocket or waletband with a kev chs secured by the Improved Wasd- durne Patent Fastener. Siw on easily, grips like grim death : dont tear the tabric ; released Instantly. By mail, 250. Catalogue of other © novelties free. American Ring Co, Box 58. Waterbury, Cone. ALONG THE COLUMBIA RIVER Colfers, and all who Walk or Stand Much Use ALLENS FOOT-EASE A Powder for the Feet. the slien, smarting, feet, and instantly takes the sting Z Shake Into Your Shoes of corns and bonions, 10s the great, 1 comfort discovery of the age. % . a Fe E tight-Btting or ew shoes feel easy. certain cure for sweating, callons and burning, DA shoe stares, imitation. What Rest TRIAL PA ‘remas = FREE cyt Sacer ALLEN S. OLMSTED, Le Roy, N. Y. (Mention this magazine). BEWARE OF IMITATIONS “IFLHAD ONLY KNOWN OF THIS YEARS AGO }ED. PINAUDS EAU DE QUININE THE NAIR: cup SCALD rm Cueantse> ANO KELOS IT FREE FROR OANORUFE oa Sate (ter nieae paesesnt No other river in the world is like the Columbia. Its fish are shipped to every part of the world ships from the Oriental countries and the islands of the Pacific pass to and fro upon it, and the scenery along its banks is charmiug. This country is reached by the New York Central and its connections; in fact, any part of the Pacific Coast can be easily and quickly reached by the New York Central Lines. Ratlway Fora copy of the “ Laxury of Mode George Hl. Travel send Imantels General Ps Station, New York. Special Notice to Subscribers. Please remember that changes of address must reach us by hursday to affect the issue of the following week. Both old and new address should be gi ven when requesting change of same. Beak