Life — August 3, 1899 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SHAMROCK. L20: BUE'S A Gi Britan OD LOOKER. 80 WERE THE OTHERS. Another hopeless sigh. “ And that thou makest one conductor do the work on a car that two men should do?” A groan. “And that thou art so afraid of thy own thugs and murderers that thou durest not insist that they be civil to true believers?” Again a groan. “Now, by the pink pajamas of the Prophet! Seize the baj baj, Mustapha, and let tho janizzaries see to it that he rides day and night for the next year on his own cars. Let tho conductors col- lect fares in his presence without ringing them up. Let every other passenger walk on his fect and sit in his lap, Let his wife and daughters ride with him, and be squeezed aud pushed and pinched by drunken men and loafers, Let every conductor abuse him, Make him get on and off at every cross- walk, and every time let the car be started while he has one foot on the ground. And Mustapha—e little moro of the hair of that dog.” Mustapha led the puffllug and perspiring capitalist out of the Hall of Justice and turned him over to the janizzaries, And as Mustapha vanished behind the curtain with the pitcher, tho Cadi’s voice was heard to murmur, ‘Here's to the only original Cadi in this street—the Cadi that makes all other Cadis look like thirty cents.” R. OLIVER BELMONT was lately quoted as asserting that Mr. William C. Whitney had gone to Europe to meet Admiral Dewey and offer him the Democratic nomina- tion for President. We shall all be lucky if the Democrats@nd anything like so reputable a candidate next year as Admiral Dewey. No one can now believe that the Admiral would consent to become their.candidate, but if he did he might be elected, especially if he kicked all the rotten planks out of the platform before he stood on it. That might not be a good thing for him, but worse things might happen to us. The prostration of the Democratic party is a public calamity. The nomination of a man like Dewey, who could run on his own record und not on the recent record of the party, would bring back the able Democrats iuto the fold from which Bryan and his whimsies drove them. No doubt, though, it will take another sound drubbing to get the free silver fatuity out of the Democratic head. a T is claimed that the yellow fever anti toxin serum has proved successful. Now let the scientists turn their atten- tion to the discovery of a yellow jouroul anti-toxin serum, Beyond Question. HOUGH the ocean may not make you seasick at all, You will certainly find it is true, Unless you are wealthy, a yacht will soon make A very poor sailor of you, Wee Willie Hearst, The Princeof Yellow Journalism. LIFE'S PANTHEON OF POPULAR PETS. MARBLE STATURS OP UP-TO-DATE GODS, COMPILED BY OUK OWN LIGUTNING CARICATURE CULSLLER,