Life — July 20, 1899 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He was an angular man, with gray ear-whiskers. He gave up his seat tn the crowded cable car with an atacrity which spoke well for the cheerfulness of his disposition, The lady who took the pre was stout and hearty. She slipped Into ¢ without a word. The angular man looked at her thoughtfully; then be stooped over and paid: woh to “Siri” sald the stout lady, with an insulted toss of ber head. dan nucle, ma‘am, who had Just the same arte es,” continued the angular man; “he couldn't pro: any word beginning with ‘th? tosave his blessed That's right. He'd stutter and stammer, aud the best he could do would be to give It the sound of tx. Tt was & dreadful aMiction. Its oldest son was named Theophilus, but he always called him +Sephilus.! Had it long, manu 2” ‘The stout lady was dark red from vexation, “You are Ansuiting,”” she snorted, “Well, Idon't wonder you hate to have anybody refer to sald the angular man, with great cheerfulness, “MutT couldn't help noticing It when you took my sent and “t able to say ‘Thank you." [wouldn't have minded tn th least If you'd wad ‘Sank you.’ Ob, do you get off here? Good-day, ma’am. Never mind the thanks."— Wasp. ‘Tux old Duke of York, whose emMgy looks top of the column ta St. James # Park, was once Commander- In-chlef, and frequently entertatned the oMcers under his command, On sion the empty bottles tnd acenmnu- lated Inconventently, and the Duke called to a servant, * Take away these marines! Now, @ distingutshed oMcer of marines was present. May | ask your royal bighness for an explanation of that phrase?" sald the undaunted representative of the *sallors and soldiers, too." wn from th ‘The Duke was the last man In the world to take refuge bebind bis dignity as royal highness, or even his exalted rauk In the service. “I wear a bine coat, and you know where to flnd me," he bad written to Ci Lennox, when there was a quarrel between them, and he had ‘gone out with the Colonel as If he had heen only plain Major Dobbin. But on this occasion # readiness of wit, which was not usual with bin, saved the situation. *They huve done their duty,” he xatd, “and are ready to do ttagaln, That's why T call “em marines! "—Argonaut, A CERTAIN eminent London physiclan has @ telephone tn his bedroom, One night quite recently the bell rang, waking, Loth hin and his wife from a deep steep. Atonce the medico phone, and over the wire came the command, me at once to Lucester Square—Lady Brown 1s very 1” With an imprecation, he handed the phone to his "he sald, “say I'm out of town. mplied obediently, Next morning the medico called at the Brown manston and expressed his deep reg to Lord Brown that he had been alsent when called, but you really were not home ¥? inquired bis Lordship, anxtously. Df course not,” unblushingly replied the physict my dear doctor,” sald Lord Brown, must aympattiize with you in your terrible misfortune, for 1 distinctly heard & man’s votce In your bedroom, talking to your wife!"—Eychange. GUSTAP Gestarsos ts the Swede Janitor of an oMce butld- ing of Milwaukee, which, by the way, 1s thinklug of changing its name to Litte Sweden, One morning his employer came In and discovered him wearing a biack eye aud a face like w beefsteak, but smiling, and apparently exultaut, This was bis cheerful answer to Inquiries: “That sooch good Joke on Yon Yonson, I baf to he be xo good. 1 go down to de dance at Fisher's las” nigty an® You he be dere, an’ he be pra’ dam droonk. H my ga! Tina: *You dance mit met? ant she say, * dance mit you, You go away; you be droork.’ An" he sayy ine, * You come out here, ‘ou gal Ties » dance mit me. T beat you' head, damn yout" He take m outalde, he beat my face, he hit me ope, two Ume prat dag hard, he be jump on me, he—haw! haw! sooch good Jobe, | haf to langh—he call me blaame Norwegian scoundrel, a: be Svede man all de time!"*— Exchange. “ Witar ts thetr position in soclety ?"" asked the Inuis tive girl, “ Wejl,” answered Miss Cayenne, “I should say they ey betwixt and between. They aren't exactly nobody, and ye they aren’t really anybody. '— Washtngton Star, Fessy MAN (hurrying {nto newspaper offic): Vve jet my spectactes scmewhere, and 1 want to advertise for thea, but I can’t kee to write without them, you know, ADVERTISING CLERK (Hkrly fo be generat mn ay): | will write that ad. for you, «Ir, Any marks on ther “Yes, yea. Gold-rimmed, lenses different focus, and le tera L. 0, C. on Instde, Insert It three times.” “Yes, sir. Eighteen shillings, please.” Here It ts. Thanks. It gives me, str, great pleasure to Inform yea, sir, that your spectacles are ou the top of your head.” “My stars! So they are, Why didn’t you say so before? Business before pleasure, you know."—Ezchange, ne1ger some SKA CAPTAIN: There Is no hope! The sbip 1s doomed In an hour we will all be dead! SEASICK PASSENGER: Thank Heaven New York Week, For sale by all Newsdealors in Great Uritain, ‘The Inter- national News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, B.C. England, AGENTS. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Daltimore Md. LIFE AS AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM. What Natu’t C, Fowter, Jr., the great business builder of 23 Thacher Road, Boston, thinks of Lire. “T have always included Lire when I could do so, consistently, because I consider that Lire occupies a class by itself, and is one of the best mediums in the world. shall continue to recommend Lire at every consistent oppor- tunity.” Mr, Fowler is known as the writer of 10,000 advertisements and of 1,000 articles on advertising, and the author of the only encyclopedia upon advertising, but he probably never wrote more truth in fewer words than in the above quotation. Advertising Rates on Application. LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY, NEW YORK. Asa Physical Need When recommended we offer for the use of Women =n | Hunter QUNTE, Baltimore Rye Battimore Rre The Purest Type of the MH LaNAHANS SON Purest Whiskey. BALTIMORE Because It Is the Purest Tonical Stimulant, Endorsed by Leading Physicians. Sold at all First-Class Cafes and by Jobbers. WH. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, M: Special Notice to Subscribers. | Please remember that changes of address must reach us by hursday to affect the issue of the following j week. Both old and new address should be given when requesting change of same. ew YORK DOUBLEDAY & McCLURE CO. we pece xcvu ‘OR the benefit of the readers of LIFES! other people, about one hundred Galntlest und most clever of the [sl printed in these pages have been Issued 3 stnall volume of attractive appearance. The New York Sun says: "The vee | which are by some of the most skillful &# writers of ters de société, have that com n of neatness, delicate Irony and f chanicteristic of the brightest & of tts kind.” he price of the volume ts also attraca® 75c, club binding ; $4.50 full leather. Address . . . Life Publishing Compati 19 and 21 West 31st St, NEW YORK CITY. comicbooks.com