Life — July 20, 1899 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Tis no alsy Jol kapin* the hod straight evo wll ue couvorousliuns, Tivvix, OM, Jn The Inard of Kegents of Heidelherg University today conferred the degree of Doctor of Laws upun Andrew Carnegie, Press Disp AS the possession of a hundred millions to give away brought Audrew Carnegio’s intellectuality up to a polat where bo deserves 80 mighty a distinction as this? Whisht, boss! 1 bev’ all th’ bricks, Did | come fa-ast enough to suit yez that trip, now The Reformed Tea-Table. A PABLE, TEA-TABLE that had stood in tho corner of a bachelor’s diving-room for many months, had grown morbid through tho sneers of a portly sideboard on tho other side of the room, Tho sideboard used to groan ostentatiously under its wealth of good things, and was accustomed to take every opportunity to poke fun at the little spindle-legged tea-table, with its lice cover, its silvor kettle and its blue Worcester cups, that were never used except for cigar asbes, “Look at mo,” tho sideboard would say, swelling its portly sides until thoy crcaked; “for over two hundred years I have been tho most popular piece of furniture in palaces, in country houses, and now in this apartment, where I am the receptacle for rare and costly wines, silver and fine linen, You, on the contrary, mean nothing. You are like « picture without an idea, or a story with- out a thought!” One day an artist visited tho bachelor’s rooms, and when bo saw tho sideboard ho went in raptures over it,“ Why,” ho said, “you have a priceless bit of seventeenth century carving there, my boy. The carving on those panels is exquisite, For heaven's sako, clear off this truck and givo the beautiful thing achanco! Guard “WELL, 80 LONG, BILL! 1 HAVE TO CATCH THIS TRAIN.” it as you would the Kobinoor; it is a gem!" comicbooks.com