Life — July 13, 1899 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LI “Holy Allah!” exclaimed the Cadi, “but yours is a dry story. The court will adjourn for five minutes.” The Cadi retired behind the curtain, whence shortly there came the sound of a slight explosion and an odor closely resembling that of three-star brandy. “Continue, slave,” said the Cadi, as he resumed his seat on the carpet of justice, “‘only cut out those home-made certifi. cates of your former good character.” . “Allah Karim! God is most merciful, and I was but telling your sublime highness what sort of man I was before I began to read the Yellow Journal, which was by accident. But know, oh, protector of the poor and ignorant, that once I began I was like the victim of hasheesh, and I cared for nothing else but to read lies, and storics of crime, and scandals, and libels on decent people, and all the latest news from the sewers.” ‘* Mustapha,” said the Cadi, as the man finished, ‘if whet the kafir says be true, and he is really a reader of the Fellow Journal, let him off with a hundred strokes of the bastinado, Then go with the janizzaries to the place where the Yellow Journal is written, and seize the slaves who write it. Scrub them thoroughly with sand, soft soap and hot water, and cover their habitation with carbolic acid and chloride of lime, lest the infection spread further. Should they resist, tie them down afterwards and tattoo pictures from their own sheet all over their bodies,” “Your highness shall be obeyed,” said Mustapha, and he led the prisoner from the room. The Cadi retired behind the curtain, and, as the same pleas- ant odor as before again pervaded the atmosphere, his voice was heard to say: ‘* Here's to the finest Cadi thut ever came down the Constantinople turnpike—and that’s no lie, either.” Close Quarters. oe HAT a pity,” said the first germ, as he clung franti- cally to a window sash as they went around a curve, ‘‘ that in sleeping-cars we have no opportunitics.” ‘Isn't it,” said his companion, despondently, “a great field, if only we bad air enough to get about in.” a Se “RVERY DOO MAS 119 DAY” PEs “TINS BLUE FLAG 18 THR ABSENCE SIGNAL, THR INSTANT I STEP ABOARD IT MUST BE HAULED DOWN, AND IT MUST BE RAISED THE INSTANT. 1 LEAVE THE “HeLP! MELP IT “Y18, 80R. SOON AS 1 GE? THE FLAG UP, SOR!” OLONEL WILLIE J. BRYAN, who spouts more con- tinuously and in greater volume than any geyser yet classified by the naturalists, believes that he can be elected President without getting a single vote north of the Potomac or east of the Alleghanics. The Colonel may be right, if he takes into account only the Embalmed Beef wing of the Republican party, but he should make a fresh calculation and include such possible factors as George Dewcy, Theodore Roosevelt and Leonard Wood. : comicbooks.com