Life, 1899-07-06 · page 12 of 20
Life — July 6, 1899 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This *Life* magazine page contains three satirical pieces: 1. **"The Questioner"** (top): A poem by Albert Bigelow Paine depicting a fair-faced woman contemplating a skull in ruins, philosophically questioning death and eternity—typical Victorian memento mori sentimentality. 2. **"True Economy"** (middle): A brief comic dialogue where a father criticizes his son for spending three cents on cigars, then contradicts himself by admitting he smokes despite supposedly being unable to afford it. The satire mocks paternal hypocrisy and inconsistent moral posturing. 3. **"Bringing Him Around"** (right): A story about a church committee confronting their pastor over doctrinal statements. The satire likely critiques religious institutions prioritizing institutional reputation over honest theological debate. 4. **"Before the Invention of Paper"** (bottom): A humorous woodcut-style illustration about primitive communication methods, with accompanying jokes about housekeeping and editorial work.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UP HOUSER REPING® BEFORE THE INVENTION OF PAPER. Spring Poet: GREAT BAAL! WIHAT'S THR MATTER IN THRRE—SOMEDODY BREAKING Humorist: Sv, THAT'S THE EDITOR CRACKING JOKES. *LLFE * The Questioner. FAIR-PACED woman found a whitened skull Amid # ruined garden's tangled bed, ‘ Sho placed it on a rose-twined pedestal And thus to it sho said: “Grim relic of some far-forgotten time, Whose flest hath blossomed in such fate decay, I pray thee tell, in what sweet summer clime Dost thou reside to-day ? “And, having lived, unfold life's mystery. Ans, having loved, reveal the how, and. why. And, being dead, unvell eternity, And all it means to die.” ‘There came no whisper from tho Itps of death, Tho hollow eyes stared at her vacantly. Perhaps it hid forgotten love, and breath, Perbups—eteruity! Albert Bigelow Paine, True Economy. ATHER (to son from whom he has just accepted a cigar): Excellent! How much did you pay? Son: They're three for a quarter. “Great Scott! And I coutent myself with two for a nickel.” z “That's a different matter. If I had | as large a family as you to support I shouldu't smoke at all.” Bringing Him Around. ~ T was indced a memorable occasion for the earnest congregation that had gathered in sceret session to take decisive uction on a vital controversy, Tho whole assemblage was hushed, and a profound stillness fell over all as the committee appotuted to confer with the pastor re- turned with solemn faces to their seats. ‘The chairman arose with trombling voico and announced tho result of their mission, “Brethren,” he said, “our pastor bids mo tell you, much as it pains him, that, in accordance with the more modern thought, he cannot accopt all tho statements mado in th Bible.” ‘The young man who had been chosen to preside over the assembly was by no means abashed by this disclosure, “Some one will move, please,” ho said sternly, rapping down the confused mur- mur that had arison, “that for every | statement our beloved pastor doubts in the Bible, one hundred dollars a year be do- ducted from his salary.” ‘The motion was carried amid the wildest applause, and in fifteen minutes the com- mittee returned and announced that the pastor, in the light of more recent re- searches, fully accepted every word, from Genesis to Revelations. —-7ym Masson. ‘Fez nt ge nt wet OE comicbooks.com