Life, 1899-06-22 · page 14 of 20
Life — June 22, 1899 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct pieces of humor: **Top: "To A. D. T., 1904"** — A romantic poem by K. Perry mocking a young messenger boy (likely an Automatic Delivery Telegraph courier, given "A.D.T."). The joke: the sender is lovesick watching the boy deliver a note to a woman, fantasizing about the boy's role. The boy remains oblivious to the romantic drama surrounding his mundane errand. **Middle: "The Plot that Failed"** — A melodramatic serialized story opening about "Flossie Greenbunker" breaking into a golf club locker to sabotage her rival. This appears to be satirizing overwrought serialized fiction popular at the time. **Bottom:** Silhouettes asking "WHO ARE THEY?" — A guessing game feature, common in Life magazine. **Right illustration:** A domestic dispute about household budgeting—a wife cannot reduce expenses below twenty-five dollars weekly, satirizing the tension between husbands' salary constraints and wives' household spending. The overall tone mocks romantic sentimentality, melodrama, and marital financial tensions of Edwardian America.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
532 -LIFE- To A. D. T., 1004. H, little, leisurely blue boy, Who bears my note to ber, You certainly don’t feel the joy Your errand should confer, Hor blest abode, in time, you'll find, Her sacred bell you'll puuch, While bere I sit with anxious mind, Neglecting even lunch, You'll see her coming down the stair, As in tho hall you sit; Her dainty feet, ber fluffy hair, Won't stir your heart a bit. But oh, if just for that brief space Your grimy paw were mine, To guide ber fingers to the place, Aud say, “ Dero's where yer sign.” Your lucky pencil-stub she'll bold Against her soft, red lip; With marks illegibly bold Sho'll grace your rumpled slip. To think of things 80 sweet and dear Spent on that freckled elf; What sinful waste! Hi, boy, come bere— ['ll take that note myself, -K, Perry. ON BLUMER: Well, old man, how did you like the Welsh rab- bit I made you last night? Kisovey: Can't tell yet. Just getting acquainted with it. The Plot that Failed. HE time was early morning on the Sparrowhawk links. Tho pd sun was just gilding the Eastern hilis with roseate AH. shafts of light as Flossie Greenbunker, noise- lessly jumping from her chaloless wheel that she might not arouse the janitor, steulthily crept into the little club house and swiftly opened with a falso ~% key the locker of her hated rival, Geraldine Lofterputt. S| Mad and revengeful thoughts surged through her montthey braio as, with a suppressed cry of triumph, she opened “ YOUR CLOTHES THIRTY DOLLARS 4 WEEK AND HOUSEHOLD EXPENSES TWENTY-FIVE DULLARS !"* “WELL, I DON'T SEB NOW I CAN MAKE THE UOUSEHOLD EXPENSES & CENT LEs3."” comicbooks.com