Life — June 15, 1899 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Mov yez heard about ut?" queried Shannigan, with well simulated indignation, “ Dhe ant oritles wudn’tlet ‘em vary & poor owld woman ylsterday 1" “Wudn't tet ‘em bury her!" ejaculated McLubherty, “ An’ for phwoy not, Ol dun‘no't* She wasn't dead | Thot's wan on yez, Mack.” “Niver moind! Niver molnd! O1M work ut aph on body thse." Meeting O'oggarty a Ittle later, he remark savages thot rule us, d'yez motnd?" “Ol'm not marrted mestif,” replted O'loggarty, calmly. “Ot don't mane thot. Begorra, dhey wudo't let ‘em bury a poor owld dead woman ylaterday 1" * Phwoy nott use she wasn't dead, Haw! hawt" “Wasn’ tdead? Dhe divil! Ye Just sald «he was dead.” “Av OL did, OL got ahead av mestif. UUs a Joke, see? Olama wag. D'yez know phwot a wag ia?” “YI “Phwot, thin?” “A wag ts a dom fool !"—/arperts Bazar. saw "yen Ix one of the elevators of a Nassau Street skyscraper, as the elevator shot toward the zenith, a stout man began toxputter, “Bub-but, r-st-st- rir," he sald, as the veins stood out apon bis neck. At the twenty-third story the stout man’s eyes were nearly starting from his head, and ax he grasped the arm of the elevator man the latter nervously pulled the lever, and the lft started for the bottom at a terrific rate, The solitary passenger danced about, gurgiing spasmodically. As the car struck bottom, however, he rushed through the door and up to an important Individual, whose cap bore the acreed “Starter.” “Ss4-say," he spattered, “ttthis ts the th-th-third trip L-I've tt-taken in the d-d— 11 Newadealers in Great Lritain. The Inter- I iews t pa Building, Chancery Lane, mpany, Hream" oENts. national N London, E. C., England, A Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. clevator ‘n’ I-L-L-I w-w-wanter g-g-g-get off at the sev-sev- seventh f-1-A-foor. Mefore 1-1-1 ¢-c-c-can say sev-sev-seven, LEEDm up to ttop, "n’ be-be-before 1-1-1 can cat-cat- eateh my br-br-breath, [-l-l'm down heh here again, ‘n’ ELT I'm in 4 h-b-h-hell ofa hurry.” The starter put him on a car, closed the door, said “Seven,” and the car started.—Sun, Bisor WiLttast Cxosweit Doane of Albany follows the custom of the English bishops, signing formal communica. Hons “ Willlam of Altany,”* Instead of using his full name. Me allghted from an Albany express at the Grand Central Station a few days ago. At every exit there wasa line of cabmen, shouting “Keb! Keb! Keb! Right this way, sir, Here's yer keb!” As soon as the Bishop appeared In his bell. crowned hat, long clerical coat, knee-breeches and low shoes, the chorus changed t» “Keb, William of Albany? Keb? Hight this way, Willlam!"—Exchange. Mote. CaLve Is not the only vocalist who has erroneously been announced ax til by certain French writers, Mile. Delna recently tasted an amusing rebuke to one of these paragruphists, She wrote: ‘You announce that I am sertously ill. [cannot further conceal from you the fact that 1 am dead." —Aryonaut, Onaton: No, gentlemen; I tell you that if you want a thing done well you tnust always do it yourself. Voice ¥Kom THE CxowD: How about getting your hair cutt—Ezchange, “ Apouri, where ts the letter I left on my desk ?** “+L malted tt, air.” “But I hadn't put the name and address on the en- velope."* That's just It, sir—I supposed It was an anonymous letter."—Le Petit Journal Pour Rive, CHARLES BCRIBNER'S SONS: NEW YORK. Wi nan creek. By Meten Stnart Thompson, $1.25. The Rough Riders, By Theodore Roosevelt. Mus- trate $2, TUE MACMILLAN COMPANY: NEW YORK AND LONDON. Old Cambridge, By Thomas Wentworth Tigginson, $1.25. The Salitary Summer, Her German Garden.” Tristram Lacy, H, Matlock, $1.50. Richard Carcel. By Winston Churchill, $1.20. JOUN LANE: LONDON AND NEW TORK. By Wulllam J. Locke. By Max Beerbobm. RENBERT 8. STONE AND COMPANY: CHICAGO AND NEW YORE. Dross, By Henry Seaton Merriman, Ilustrated. The Awakening. By Kate Chopin. D'Arcy of the Guards. By Louls Evan Shipman, Oliver Iverson, By Aun Devoore. A Fair Brigand. By George Horton, The Passion of Rosamund Keith. Pritchard, The Lady of the Flag-Flowers, By Florence Wilkinson, The Wol’s Long Hoel, By Stanley Waterloo, $1.00. @, P. PUTNAM'S BONK? NEW YORK AND LONDON. Children of the Mist. By Eden Phillpotts. Yate Yarns. By John Seymour Wood, Illustrated. By the author of * Ellzabeth and Idols, More. Tinstrated, By Martin J. ¥. TENNYSON NEELY: NEW YORK AND LONDON. That Other Woman. By Amelia Appleton. Shem, By 1. Breckenrldge Ellis. Fate of the Black Eagie. By Russell D. Smith. In Quest or Life. By Thad. W. Williams, M.D. Tum Huston's Transformation. By K. J. Love. Tin Oaks. By Whitfield 0. Howell. Fcnorran AGRNTS—Messrs. Brentano, 3 Avenue dot'Upera, Paris. PILON PAYD SPAZZAM L. PROU these experiments, Cite, Shirt Waists. White Linen, Piqué, Lawn and Silk Fancy Waists. Laco and Embroidery Trimmed. Silk Petticoats. Mohair, Dimity, and Pongee Skirts, Dressing Sacques, Kimono Wrappers. Batiste Summer Corsets. NEW YORK. THE SUCCESS OF LONDON. Gr nese, FANCY TAILORING COURT DRESSMAKING| After fifteen years of uninterrupted success ax ® Ladies’ Tullor in New York, Mr. Ernest has. opened an extensive establishment at 185 Regent Street, near Conduit Street, London, where he’ has always on view the latest creations 1n COATS and GOWNS. every description. COURSE IN STUDENT, 185,Regent St | 2 throttler. LY AND henston.~V. C.J E, M.D., F.L., O.T.S. AB.XLY.L, BARENERVE PINCHOR, P.D.Q. MALE OR | © REGARDING PliysicaL s ‘The screams of the animals are suppressed by Professor Gagg's new adjustable eee LIFE’S COLLEGE OF VIVISECTION. AGONY B, CUTTER, President, Board of Instructors: F. TIBERIUS GORE, P.H.O., L.T. SABLE JOY, T.F., LLC. STIRLING SCHRIEK, A.B.C., Y.Z., Professor BACILLUS FP. TAINTOR will deliver a series of lectures on the inoculs- tion of malignant germs with practical tilustrations on pauper invalids. Our course of Experiments on Living Animate ts unsurpassed. They are continuows, instructive and entertaining. Horses, dogs and cats are always on the premises for aa we have secured the exclusive services of PROWLER SNATCIIAM, C.A.D., who has made a specialty of the abduction of pet animals of THIS DEPARTMENT 18 GUARANTEED TO HARDEN ANY FEMALE, AGA, FFERING (IN iT ALL SYMPATHY OR OTHERS). INTEREST All persona bringing do7a or cats to mur basement door on Agony Alley after nightfall will be suitably rewarded. TESTIMONIALS. Before my visit to this institution I had no conception of the agonies # sensitive being can be made to endure.—J. L. B. A Joke on sclence.—P. WJ. It tsa sickening revelation of horror.—T. F. How & benevolent Creator can permit such atrocities 1s beyond human compre- More fui than a bull fight—H. ¢e S. G. Compared with it the Inquisition was a pleasure party.— 1. 7. COMIEHOOkSteon